wtf?!

Haven't seen the Courier since Christmas day.

Yesterday many hours were spent texting. Vanilla stuff but hours upon hours.

Tonight a mutual friend (who has no idea of what has transpired) casually mentions the Courier has been dating a girl for almost a year now.

Speechless.

Talk among yourselves.

lovely christmas

For once I had a lovely Christmas. As I always dread holidays, I have come to enjoy my freedom down here in Austin to celebrate as my heart sees fit. Whether I want to be with friends or stay home on my couch - it is my call. I love that freedom.

Yesterday morning was spent cooking and then heading over to share brunch with a few of the girls. It was lighthearted and filled with mimosa and laughter. The Courier and I exchanged a few text messages during the tail end of brunch.

After getting home, I decided to go for a run. Trying a new route, I clocked 4.7 miles. It was cold but I can feel my endurance increasing. I can feel each run get a bit easier and that is terribly exciting.

As I was getting cleaned up post-run, a message came across inquiring if the red had been opened. Affirming it would be, The Courier then responded he'd be over shortly. And poof! at 6:30 the doorbell rang. Comfortably curled on the couch with our wine, we spoke for hours about a wide spectrum of subjects. At some point we spoke of travel and I showed The Courier one of the travel brochures. I laughingly explained to The Courier that the travel books are my porn filled with so many places to go, things to see, worlds to explore. He put his arms around me holding me tightly to him with his chin resting on my shoulder as we flipped through the pages together.

I am enjoying my time with The Courier so very much.

another wonderful night

Last night I shared yet another wonderful evening with The Courier. We had a glass of wine before leaving for the party. He told me I looked beautiful, my dress was great. It was wonderful to hear the sincerity in his voice. 

Heading to the party, we laughed about the fact that neither of us remembers the whole evening from the last party. To avoid a repeat, we'd both made a point of eating prior to last night's engagement. The good part is we could laugh at the previous party. The Courier asked if it would be the same crowd. I explained there would be some repeats but some newbies too that are typically fun. 

Arriving at the party later meant we had to park at the top of the killer hill. A fun walk in each direction. The Courier was sweet and carried my party food contributions. It is those small gestures that turn me on. Surprisingly, the overall party turnout was lighter than anticipated. We put down my dishes, said hello to people as we navigated from the sweets table to the appetizer table. One of the gals who fell in love with The Courier lit up when she saw him. I think he was a bit tickled at that. As libations are a must, we tried the sangria and went on to find the host and hostess.

We had some nibbles. We laughed. We chatted up a few people. I truly enjoy The Courier's company. When the band began to play, he put his arms around my waist and held me tightly near him. A few times he kissed my shoulder blade. It was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Of course, the snoops eyeballed our every move. We were not over the top in any way; we were simply happy together.

While the band took a break, we went outside on the deck to finish our wine and were thoroughly entertained by the geek squad sitting out there ranting about all things uber geeky. We then collected our coats, said goodbye to the hostess, collected our serve-ware and headed up that big hill back to the car. 

Back at the house, we settled onto the couch and sipped a glass of malbec. We talked of our dearly departed dogs and ex-spouses. The Courier seemed rather curious about my marriage. Later we headed off to bed. He had to go to work this morning, so we were up well before the sun. Oh, I had such a wonderful evening.

It is terrible. For awhile, I have wanted to leave Austin. The get-out-of-Austin clock has started ticking and I don't want to leave. Not now; not while I am loving it down here.

new perspectives

Last week, I, the non-baker, participated in a marathon Christmas cookie baking session. Surprisingly, my overall neglected kitchen skills came back quickly. In fact, I was one of the more experienced, which I find down right shocking. Hours upon hours of baking resulted in the hostess sending me home with cookies specifically for The Courier. 

I relayed this to The Courier and didn't get much of a reaction from him. As I am navigating this whole Courier landscape rather lightheartedly, I simply let it go. A few days later I received a text message from him inquiring if there were any cookies left. This lead to a fun exchange about the cookies, a few experiencing tragic accidents that lead him to ask if he needed to come rescue them. 

I was multitasking during this and at that moment, I determined exactly where this was headed. I sat on the fence. What is this... a booty call? Do I want a booty call or not? What do I want? 

I sat in that question for a short while. The findings included that I am a 37 year old woman who is very capable of making my own decisions; decisions that are correct for me. My realization is that I want to shed my mother's archaic ideas of love, sex, and relationships that have been smashed down my throat from an early age. The time has come for me to change the tape. Am I always going to get it right? No, but that's the point. 

And so I consented to The Courier coming over. I was pleasantly surprised that even though he's only been to my house once, he got here without asking for my address again. I like boys who pay attention and retain. I had been watching Jackass 3 because I needed a distraction from a few of my other multitasking activities. Imagine The Courier's surprise that I would be watching such a movie but we laughed at the various antics. Of course, we had to enjoy champagne while watching the movie because that's how I roll.

We had fun, caught up on life. Talked about Lulu because she is everywhere and even made a lasting impression on him. It wasn't what I would label as a booty call. Did we end up in bed at the end of the evening? Yes, we did. But I had no reservations or qualms about it. I attribute my comfort level to the fact that The Courier is different because we have known each other for awhile, so it isn't this whole brand-new, getting to know someone situation.

We have a party to attend later this week. I am truly looking forward to seeing him again.