another saturday with bolt

Yesterday was another fabulous Saturday here in the ATX.

Lulu and I woke up early and walked Town Lake at high speed. Enjoyed a bit of lounging catch up time. As I was making my errand list, Edina sent me a text stating that some folks were meeting early and I should ask Bolt to join us. Of course, I am a big chicken when it comes to those types of things where the opportunity for rejection is a possibility. So, I did not ask Bolt.

Ran my errands, including an impromptu stop at DSW shoes where I found the perfect pair of cranberry red patent leather shoes. I made my way to the bar to meet up with everyone.

Slowly people trickled in for the official event, our social club’s rock-paper-scissors tournament – Edina’s brainchild. Of the brackets, I was the first to go. How terribly self-conscious I was as I have never played rock-paper-scissors before in my life. Somehow, I won my first round. I continued to win round after round until I made it to the finals. The guy I was playing against wanted to stand in my spot and want to throw much faster – none of which he got as it was all on my terms. Yes, I did win. Edina even had a trophy made.

We continued to hang out after my victory. Edina and I went to chat privately away from the crowd in none other than the bathroom of course. Turns out Edina’s boyfriend, Homey sent Bolt a text message telling him to come down here. Bolt responded, “Hey Pats – just got back from a bike ride. What’s going on?” You see, Homey and I both have mobile phones with CO area codes. I was tickled that Bolt assumed it was me based on the area code. Homey did clarify that it wasn’t me texting Bolt.

Later, Homey did get Bolt to come join us at the bar. Bolt does have a good sense of humor though because when he walked in and met us, he walked over to Homey and said “Hey Pats” and then called me ‘Homey’ to make light of it. We did Jaeger bombs to celebrate my big win. Somehow, Homey inquired when Bolt’s birthday is and since it is close, Homey started planning Bolt’s birthday. We also finalized that next weekend Bolt is also joining us for Carnaval.

Then we had a location change for dinner. We all piled into my car and headed down the road. Bolt remained close to me; asking if I wanted a cocktail while we waited for a table, sitting next to me at dinner. After dinner, the group split up as some had tickets to a burlesque show and some did not. As I did not have evening plans, I had purchased a burlesque ticket in the morning. The show was now sold out.

Edina and Homey went their way, Bolt got his car and he and I met at the burlesque venue. Because my name was on the list, we got to bypass the huge entry line. Bolt and I headed to the back where the show had already begun. We were stopped for wristbands, so back to the front to get our wrist bands. I told Bolt, ‘Just play along.’ I know he did not realize what I meant. We got up to the booth, and I act surprised when the gal informs me I only ordered one ticket. She then asks for my iphone to show her the receipt. I told her I am not that technologically advanced and my mobile phone is purely for phone calls. She then asks what my total bill was and I coolly reply $32. That was good enough for her and we both received wristbands.

The show was good. It was especially nice to turn my head to the left and see Bolt smiling at me. After the show, we enjoyed a few cocktails, chatted. Bolt was sure to wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day at midnight. The rest of the group left; Bolt and I remained laughing and talking until the venue closed. Always a gentleman, Bolt walked me to my car. I didn’t know where he parked and asked if he wanted a lift to his car. He said yes as he was parked behind the buildings completely opposite of where I was parked. We stayed in my car alternating between talking and making out until 3:45 AM.

And that is how the fourth Saturday in a row with Bolt went down. My giddiness continues.

where is he?

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know your name, where you live, what you do for a living, how you take your coffee, or what makes you laugh.

Clearly, I know very little about you; however, I do believe I will have some level of inkling when our paths finally cross. Maybe.

But there are a few things I do know about you for sure – you really are out there somewhere (preferably Austin) hunting high and low for me, you accept and appreciate me for who I am – quirks and all, there are no games or ambiguity, and even though happily ever after is only in the movies, we’ll have our own reality-based version of what that is for us.

I have waited patiently for you; I have had a lot of fun along the way. Experiences I wouldn’t give away because each has been instrumental in creating the tapestry that is my life, me.
But even in all the happiness and love that surrounds me now, there is a small piece missing. And that is you. Please hurry.

Finish Lines

This morning we ran the local 10k. While ran is a strong word, we didn’t take a leisurely walk either. Eddie and I went along at a pretty good clip. In fact, I can feel the muscles in my bum quite well right now. But I did what I set out to do - finish the race.

Afterwards we had some girl time and a lovely lunch at our favorite taco place. Onward home where I enjoyed my bath; clean hair is so fabulous. So I was fully relaxed when the phone rang with its infamous “waiting” ring tone that belongs solely to The Southern Gentleman.

Answering the phone, his Southern drawl greeted me with a low sing-song tone. Upon hearing that I completed the 10k today, The Southern Gentleman snickered a fair amount; I was not pleased. As our conversation progressed, I know I got more agitated with him and it probably came across in my tone. Our phone call ended within 15 minutes.

I wasn’t cross or rude. I am simply tired of listening to the story that is not going to be made into a tv movie. It has been a year and half since The Southern Gentleman made his first trip down here. Not much has changed significantly during that extended period of time; we are still friends – no commitments have been made, no binding confessions of love.

I have given up on him. A significant amount of time and energy were expended and I cannot put any more into a road to nowhere. I ran the race with The Southern Gentleman. He is still somewhere at the start line; I have continued running and made it to the finish line alone. It is time for me find another race to run, another finish line to cross. Hopefully next time I won't be finishing the race alone.

tolls

Christmas week. already? I suppose time flies when you're having fun.

During the last week, the ticking clock has become vocal, audible, and all those yummy things that serve as reminders that I prefer not to have on my radar. You see, my full time life here in Austin could be drawing to a close. The lease is up in two months. And two months... eight weeks does not sound like a lot of time.

I have sought and received reprieves in the past. However, I fear my nine lives might be used up. But I can only ask and see what the answer is.

Each time I ask for a bit more time thinking, convincing, fooling myself that I will be ready when the end finally comes. But next month is answer time and I am filled with dread because clearly I am still not ready for anything less than an affirmative response to "shall I renew my lease?"

Will I ever be ready?

Until then, I am going continue enjoying my dream.

overwhelmed

I feel overwhelmed... wishing that there were at least two of me. Fiona's post keeps whirling round in my mind... as I am identifying with it to the nth degree.

Too much to do. Not enough time. Yada, yada, yada. As a chick who thrives on stress, even now I have finally found my limits. Limits I never thought I had. Never knew I had. Finding myself dreaming of the day when I no longer have to do this. When I can be working side-by-side with The Southern Gentleman.

Reason #342 that I cannot wait for The Southern Gentleman to take the leap to the next level. now.