The week ended oddly. Unnecessary work drama abound. I hate drama and work drama is the worst.
Earlier this week, I was informed by my manager that the client complained to my VP about me. More importantly, the conversation ended with a statement about my manager being unsure if the VP would do something irrational. Reading between the lines I knew that meant I could very well be fired next week when the VP is onsite.
Pre-India Patsy would have gone haywire calling HR and preparing my legal case, basically bat-shit crazy, worked up and climbing the ceiling. However, we are dealing with post-India Patsy, who was eerily calm and didn't have a single ruffled feather. Sure, I was not pleased at the idea, but I was more concerned that my future-living-in-India fund's growth would be prematurely stifled .
I spoke to my manager later in the day and he assured me that nothing would happen to me. Honestly, I simply want to be able to take my leave of absence when the time is right. All I want is to be living in Jaipur with Tour Director, building our life together. I want to be back in the C-Scheme condo waking up together, making our morning tea, and reading the paper before work. While Tour Director is at the office, I see myself very clearly sitting at the dining room table writing away as the peacocks squawk outside the balcony. Tour Director comes home around 3:30 PM and I greet him with a kiss at the door unless I am absorbed in a crucial story point. We make our afternoon tea and share our day's stories on the burgundy couch. I can see it all so clearly and feel it down to the depth of my very being.
I have never felt this way. Ever. I have never felt so strongly, so certain. I honestly believe our paths crossed for a reason and it is a bigger reason. It is the reason I have been searching for for years upon years. I finally found my mate.
15 January 2017
10 January 2017
truly
Peace, true peace became a part of my daily existence from the moment I touched down in India. Since my return, each day, several times a day, I find myself sitting and pondering who the hell have I become. I have never been so calm, so unfazed by day-to-day pettiness. Truly, I have returned from India transformed.
The whole situation at the office is nothing short of a hot mess. Before December 2nd, I would have been twisted up over the hot mess oozing through; today, I go in, do what I can, and leave. I don't participate in the drama; I have no interest. I actually leave and leave in a timely fashion. This is such a huge shift and I barely recognize myself.
But this shift is for my highest good. My thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs have changed for the better. I see new possibilities and I have complete faith and trust in all those amazing things materializing. I cannot express how much I am truly enjoying this new found freedom. I feel lighter and quite frankly unstoppable. The new lens I view the world through is magnificent.
When I booked my Indian holiday at the beginning of November, I had no idea that this would be more than a "burn my PTO" holiday. This holiday was fate, pure and simple. This holiday was the catalyst of change that has placed me on a new trajectory.
Unfortunately I am tired tonight, so I will cut this entry short. The pups need some quality love time with me and I need to go to bed at a decent hour.
The whole situation at the office is nothing short of a hot mess. Before December 2nd, I would have been twisted up over the hot mess oozing through; today, I go in, do what I can, and leave. I don't participate in the drama; I have no interest. I actually leave and leave in a timely fashion. This is such a huge shift and I barely recognize myself.
But this shift is for my highest good. My thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs have changed for the better. I see new possibilities and I have complete faith and trust in all those amazing things materializing. I cannot express how much I am truly enjoying this new found freedom. I feel lighter and quite frankly unstoppable. The new lens I view the world through is magnificent.
When I booked my Indian holiday at the beginning of November, I had no idea that this would be more than a "burn my PTO" holiday. This holiday was fate, pure and simple. This holiday was the catalyst of change that has placed me on a new trajectory.
Unfortunately I am tired tonight, so I will cut this entry short. The pups need some quality love time with me and I need to go to bed at a decent hour.
09 January 2017
central park revelations
Jaipur Journal Flashback from Thursday 22 December 2016....
Listening to the afternoon call to prayer in the distance, I sit on the ground in Jaipur Central Park connected to the earth under the Indian flag that is moving ever so subtly in the warm sun soaked air.
This 4 kilometers have served as a walking meditation of my time here. From the moment I landed on Indian soil, I have been washed in a constant stream of peace and calm and serenity. A tranquility I have never known and serves now as my new normal.
Enter Tour Director stage right. Such a kind, caring man. I never met anyone like him. Smart, ambitious, honest, funny. Even though we are from opposite sides of the world, I would never notice. Leave it to me - meet the most amazing man ever and he's literally on the other side of the world.
But that's the strange part. I don't feel like an outsider here. I roam the streets and feel at home. The peace I have felt pouring over me and through me has only intensified during this unplanned third week.
And so revealed to me on this walk is the fact that I have worked like a dog for the past 20 years seeking money and freedoms it brings. While I've enjoyed it, that part of my life is over. I'll always work, make money but not in the same way, not as a simple cog in a wheel. The past two years have taught me that I know much more than I ever realized. I can spread my wings and soar. I choose happiness now. I am so willing to uproot my life to be here in Jaipur. The way I feel with Tour Director is something I've never known. My walk revealed a sabbatical is the way to go. I'll have to discuss with Tour Director.
It's Thursday and it pains my heart to think I'll have to leave soon. I don't want to think about not feeling Tour Director take me tightly in his arms. Look into his incredible eyes that wander deep into my soul. Wholeheartedly laugh together at the antics of Rocket.
Just as my additional week here was gifted with ease. I have the utmost faith in God that the path I'm supposed to travel will be revealed as the time is correct.
08 January 2017
surprises in the taj mahal tea leaves
Yesterday through the never ending leftovers of the yucky snow accumulation, I ventured in a northwesterly direction to Boulder in hunt of a well stocked Indian grocer. Tucked away in a sleepy little strip mall, I stumbled onto a little taste of India complete with the heavenly aromas that haunts my memories.
I slowly wandered the aisles seeking out the items on my list while being washed over with memories of that magical time, overcome with yearning to return to the arms of the Tour Director, to return home. The Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros' song "Home is Wherever There is You"overtakes my being as I write this.
Tea was a central component of our daily life in Jaipur; our ritual of sorts. Once Tour Director taught me how to make it, each morning either one of us would whip up the masala tea or we would make it together. Together was always the best - we'd tag team the simple steps.
At the back of a corner, there was the tea selection. Joy overcame me as I spotted the iconic blue box of Taj Mahal tea. I quickly snatched up a box even though the bright orange price tag read $11.49. That simple box of tea serves as our connection.
This morning, I got up and made the tea just as I was taught and done so many times with Tour Director. That first sip that I'd assume would bring me joy through my memories remembering and cherishing those inconsequential yet sacred moments we shared did not act as predicted. Instead I felt immense sadness that Tour Director was not here, that we were not together; the pangs of missing him were intense. So much so that I found myself crying in the face of the chasm that physically separates us. Never have I felt this way about a man. Never.
But I continue to sip my tea through my tears focusing on the fact that one day we will be reunited again inshallah.
I slowly wandered the aisles seeking out the items on my list while being washed over with memories of that magical time, overcome with yearning to return to the arms of the Tour Director, to return home. The Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros' song "Home is Wherever There is You"overtakes my being as I write this.
Tea was a central component of our daily life in Jaipur; our ritual of sorts. Once Tour Director taught me how to make it, each morning either one of us would whip up the masala tea or we would make it together. Together was always the best - we'd tag team the simple steps.
At the back of a corner, there was the tea selection. Joy overcame me as I spotted the iconic blue box of Taj Mahal tea. I quickly snatched up a box even though the bright orange price tag read $11.49. That simple box of tea serves as our connection.
This morning, I got up and made the tea just as I was taught and done so many times with Tour Director. That first sip that I'd assume would bring me joy through my memories remembering and cherishing those inconsequential yet sacred moments we shared did not act as predicted. Instead I felt immense sadness that Tour Director was not here, that we were not together; the pangs of missing him were intense. So much so that I found myself crying in the face of the chasm that physically separates us. Never have I felt this way about a man. Never.
But I continue to sip my tea through my tears focusing on the fact that one day we will be reunited again inshallah.
07 January 2017
inshallah
I look down at my left hand to carefully examine my palm. Only ever so faint traces of the henna are still barely detectable near the heel of my hand. The beautiful, delicate henna design has served as my measure of time since I can physically watch time slip away with the pigment placed on my skin.
My heart aches at the faintness of the art, the mark of love that once adorned my palm. Sadness sinks in when I realize that in a few short days all traces will be gone; however, the marks on my heart, the etching on my soul will never be removed.
It has been three weeks since the henna was applied to my left palm. It was a portion of what Tour Director had asked the gal to do. While he was angry that the artist hadn't done everything he asked, I was flattered that he cared that much about what the art looked like; the fact that it meant something to him too beyond my simple request to have "henna on my hands". I can still hear Tour Director in my ear telling me that the quality and amount of henna applied to a woman prior to her wedding is an important gauge of how the bride's mother-in-law feels about the bride.
Earlier that day, I had been the model for the group when we were at an amazing silk weaving business and the sales man was showing us the sari fabric. Of course, I was volunteered to go up on the platform to have the sari draped on me. The magical silk fabric was Texas orange and this man folded and whipped this delicious fabric around me in a whirlwind similar to Cinderella being dressed for the ball. Everyone ooh'd and awed. I felt so beautiful. I could not look at the back of the room where Tour Director was casually leaning against the checkout counter, his long body being held up by his bent left arm. I knew that if I looked at him I would give us away as the entire group would see my happiness radiating toward him. Summoning everything in my power to keep my eyes from him because in my heart I felt this overwhelming sensation that one day I'd be in a wedding sari with Tour Director looking deep into my soul by my side.
Later when we were alone, Tour Director asked my why I wouldn't look at him when I had the sari on and I shared my fear that we'd be exposed because I was so terribly giddy. He proceeded to tell me that I looked amazing in the dress and he so badly wanted to blow me a kiss while I was in it. I told him that if he had done that I would have for sure been overcome and poof! our situation would have been revealed.
So sitting in my dining room here today surrounded by snow, I find myself pondering what life has in store for me as well as me and Tour Director together. He and I spoke this morning. I hear his voice and all I want to do is get on a plane back to India - the world be damned! We truly miss each other as that yearning is palpable both over the phone as well as SMS. Everything is good with the exception that Tour Director is 9,000 miles/14,600 kilometers away. Not exactly conducive a quick weekend away.
I remind myself regularly that God did not place this amazing man in my path without a plan. I have my things to do and so does Tour Director. Doors will open when they are supposed to, not when I demand the doors to open. As the Tour Director and I SMS'd on New Year's Day, he'd slept through midnight as all parties were couple oriented. I told him that next year would be different and his response was "Inshallah". My reply was that "I hope Allah dropped me in your tour group for a reason". Tour Director immediately replied "Of course what do you think. He has a plan."
And so my new mantra has become "Inshallah".
My heart aches at the faintness of the art, the mark of love that once adorned my palm. Sadness sinks in when I realize that in a few short days all traces will be gone; however, the marks on my heart, the etching on my soul will never be removed.
It has been three weeks since the henna was applied to my left palm. It was a portion of what Tour Director had asked the gal to do. While he was angry that the artist hadn't done everything he asked, I was flattered that he cared that much about what the art looked like; the fact that it meant something to him too beyond my simple request to have "henna on my hands". I can still hear Tour Director in my ear telling me that the quality and amount of henna applied to a woman prior to her wedding is an important gauge of how the bride's mother-in-law feels about the bride.
Earlier that day, I had been the model for the group when we were at an amazing silk weaving business and the sales man was showing us the sari fabric. Of course, I was volunteered to go up on the platform to have the sari draped on me. The magical silk fabric was Texas orange and this man folded and whipped this delicious fabric around me in a whirlwind similar to Cinderella being dressed for the ball. Everyone ooh'd and awed. I felt so beautiful. I could not look at the back of the room where Tour Director was casually leaning against the checkout counter, his long body being held up by his bent left arm. I knew that if I looked at him I would give us away as the entire group would see my happiness radiating toward him. Summoning everything in my power to keep my eyes from him because in my heart I felt this overwhelming sensation that one day I'd be in a wedding sari with Tour Director looking deep into my soul by my side.
Later when we were alone, Tour Director asked my why I wouldn't look at him when I had the sari on and I shared my fear that we'd be exposed because I was so terribly giddy. He proceeded to tell me that I looked amazing in the dress and he so badly wanted to blow me a kiss while I was in it. I told him that if he had done that I would have for sure been overcome and poof! our situation would have been revealed.
So sitting in my dining room here today surrounded by snow, I find myself pondering what life has in store for me as well as me and Tour Director together. He and I spoke this morning. I hear his voice and all I want to do is get on a plane back to India - the world be damned! We truly miss each other as that yearning is palpable both over the phone as well as SMS. Everything is good with the exception that Tour Director is 9,000 miles/14,600 kilometers away. Not exactly conducive a quick weekend away.
I remind myself regularly that God did not place this amazing man in my path without a plan. I have my things to do and so does Tour Director. Doors will open when they are supposed to, not when I demand the doors to open. As the Tour Director and I SMS'd on New Year's Day, he'd slept through midnight as all parties were couple oriented. I told him that next year would be different and his response was "Inshallah". My reply was that "I hope Allah dropped me in your tour group for a reason". Tour Director immediately replied "Of course what do you think. He has a plan."
And so my new mantra has become "Inshallah".
27 December 2016
incredible india
It's been awhile since I have visited this little corner of the universe.
Ballroom has been out of my life for over a year. Life has basically consisted of working way to much. However, my international travel has picked back up this year and my passport has been getting exercised.
Sunday I returned from a holiday in northern India. I booked the two week trip at the beginning of November, about a month before departure.
I have never experienced such an intense spiritual time. My world truly changed during my time overseas. There were fourteen travelers and as usual I am the youngest by a mile. The tour director is around my age; a very attractive Indian Muslim with a fabulous funny personality. For the first week, we were all business. In Jaipur, we had an afternoon free and I tried to get him to do something with me but he didn't bite. So I assumed he wasn't in to me.
The days continued. We had a lunch at a women's textile co-op and so myself and a pair of divorced sisters in their 60s sat with this Indian woman who was 43 and looked oh so older and married for 30 years. We were trying to talk but us white girls don't speak Hindi and this lady didn't speak English. We got a few things across but I yelled for the tour director to join us so he could act as translator. The woman was mortified that the three of us women were unmarried and without children. She posed the question, "what's the point of your life if you don't have children?" I relayed to her that I had wasted many years on a Punjabi man (a.k.a. the Southern Gentleman) in a relationship that went nowhere. Well that opened the proverbial can of worms. Since I was then open to Indian men, then Rajasthan men were hands down better. We bantered on about the fact that all her husband's brothers were married and if only there were one left for me. We laughed and the women's co-op was out to find me a suitable husband.
That night at the luxury camping site, we then played cricket and I discovered I was really good at cricket despite the fact I was always dreadful at baseball in school. The day had been full of me being the star as the tour director pulled me out to carry water on my head, make tea, and of course the cricket game star player. Before dinner, there was happy hour and the tour director sat next to me and we talked. Honestly, he went from not really paying attention to me to being earnestly interested in me - I chalk it up to my Punbaji confession earlier in the day. We continued on at dinner together. Tour Director and I just clicked.
That night we had a local musical group come out to sing traditional songs around the fire. A few of the men danced and of course made me come up and dance. My Bollywood dance lessons paid off and I had a great time. Never before have I been so confident and so all in, especially in the dancing space. I had such an amazing time.
Tour Director continued to pursue me. At our next stop, I was asked to his room after hours to have a drink; he doesn't drink but he'd make me rum and cokes. We talked and talked and continued to discover how very much we have in common.
At the next stop, Tour Director and I spent time after the dinner and night activities talking in his room; at the end of our evening, he hugged me. Lord, I swooned in that man's arms. Never before have I been held with such intensity, such strength, and such care. My heart leapt in my chest and I never wanted to leave his arms. The following evening we went out for the evening to a small film festival. Again we had a great time. Afterwards we went back to his room and talked. Time would simply fly and it would be later before either of us realized it. That night when I left we hugged and after ending our embrace he looked at me. The air was still, the silence palpable. Tour Director asked if he could kiss me and I said yes. OH MY! was that a kiss. A kiss that took my breath away. and it would be the first of many that would change my world.
The night before I was scheduled to return home, we decided to see how much it would cost if I extended my ticket one week. It wasn't expensive, so we did it. I would extend my trip a week and spend it with him. Never have I done anything that impulsive, without a care for consequence. All I knew was that he and I were having a marvelous time and I needed to see where this was heading.
We spent the week together and it only confirmed what I felt from the beginning - this is the man I am supposed to be with. I know it and he knows it too. I have never felt so open and fearless in telling a man how I feel; answering his questions. He and I have led the same life only on opposite sides of the world.
Leaving was so incredibly difficult. Our last night together, he held me so tightly the entire night, refusing to let me go. The past few days have been tough. Tour Director and I have been open about the gaping hole we both feel.
I'll be exploring my holiday more in the following days.
Ballroom has been out of my life for over a year. Life has basically consisted of working way to much. However, my international travel has picked back up this year and my passport has been getting exercised.
Sunday I returned from a holiday in northern India. I booked the two week trip at the beginning of November, about a month before departure.
I have never experienced such an intense spiritual time. My world truly changed during my time overseas. There were fourteen travelers and as usual I am the youngest by a mile. The tour director is around my age; a very attractive Indian Muslim with a fabulous funny personality. For the first week, we were all business. In Jaipur, we had an afternoon free and I tried to get him to do something with me but he didn't bite. So I assumed he wasn't in to me.
The days continued. We had a lunch at a women's textile co-op and so myself and a pair of divorced sisters in their 60s sat with this Indian woman who was 43 and looked oh so older and married for 30 years. We were trying to talk but us white girls don't speak Hindi and this lady didn't speak English. We got a few things across but I yelled for the tour director to join us so he could act as translator. The woman was mortified that the three of us women were unmarried and without children. She posed the question, "what's the point of your life if you don't have children?" I relayed to her that I had wasted many years on a Punjabi man (a.k.a. the Southern Gentleman) in a relationship that went nowhere. Well that opened the proverbial can of worms. Since I was then open to Indian men, then Rajasthan men were hands down better. We bantered on about the fact that all her husband's brothers were married and if only there were one left for me. We laughed and the women's co-op was out to find me a suitable husband.
That night at the luxury camping site, we then played cricket and I discovered I was really good at cricket despite the fact I was always dreadful at baseball in school. The day had been full of me being the star as the tour director pulled me out to carry water on my head, make tea, and of course the cricket game star player. Before dinner, there was happy hour and the tour director sat next to me and we talked. Honestly, he went from not really paying attention to me to being earnestly interested in me - I chalk it up to my Punbaji confession earlier in the day. We continued on at dinner together. Tour Director and I just clicked.
That night we had a local musical group come out to sing traditional songs around the fire. A few of the men danced and of course made me come up and dance. My Bollywood dance lessons paid off and I had a great time. Never before have I been so confident and so all in, especially in the dancing space. I had such an amazing time.
Tour Director continued to pursue me. At our next stop, I was asked to his room after hours to have a drink; he doesn't drink but he'd make me rum and cokes. We talked and talked and continued to discover how very much we have in common.
At the next stop, Tour Director and I spent time after the dinner and night activities talking in his room; at the end of our evening, he hugged me. Lord, I swooned in that man's arms. Never before have I been held with such intensity, such strength, and such care. My heart leapt in my chest and I never wanted to leave his arms. The following evening we went out for the evening to a small film festival. Again we had a great time. Afterwards we went back to his room and talked. Time would simply fly and it would be later before either of us realized it. That night when I left we hugged and after ending our embrace he looked at me. The air was still, the silence palpable. Tour Director asked if he could kiss me and I said yes. OH MY! was that a kiss. A kiss that took my breath away. and it would be the first of many that would change my world.
The night before I was scheduled to return home, we decided to see how much it would cost if I extended my ticket one week. It wasn't expensive, so we did it. I would extend my trip a week and spend it with him. Never have I done anything that impulsive, without a care for consequence. All I knew was that he and I were having a marvelous time and I needed to see where this was heading.
We spent the week together and it only confirmed what I felt from the beginning - this is the man I am supposed to be with. I know it and he knows it too. I have never felt so open and fearless in telling a man how I feel; answering his questions. He and I have led the same life only on opposite sides of the world.
Leaving was so incredibly difficult. Our last night together, he held me so tightly the entire night, refusing to let me go. The past few days have been tough. Tour Director and I have been open about the gaping hole we both feel.
I'll be exploring my holiday more in the following days.
08 October 2015
compatibility... astrologically and otherwise
So another evening with Ballroom has transpired.
I adore the man. I honestly and truly do.
There isn't any pretense. No guessing. No wondering. Not a hint of a game.
Simply this awesome flow of acceptance and understanding.
Just openness and honesty.
Ballroom was super cute as he read to me about our astrological compatibility. He did censor part of it by openly stating he was skipping over the Capricorn man and Scorpio woman in bed.
But it is so easy. So natural. All my normal hangups are non-existent.
Are y'all sitting down? I have actually told him that I like him. Not only that but that I like him a lot. And I have done that on several occasions. Who in the hell am I?!?!
But I know like I know like I know that this is it. He focused in on the fact that per the astrological compatibility, we are soul mates.
Whatever title is affixed, I can only speak for myself in that for a very long time now I have known that Ballroom was for me. The feeling is so utterly different than anything I have ever felt.
Best part of this evening was that when we parted ways, we hugged and as we disentangled, he grabbed me around the waist and simply said, "kiss me good night" and he promptly planted a big kiss on my lips.
Life is good.
I adore the man. I honestly and truly do.
There isn't any pretense. No guessing. No wondering. Not a hint of a game.
Simply this awesome flow of acceptance and understanding.
Just openness and honesty.
Ballroom was super cute as he read to me about our astrological compatibility. He did censor part of it by openly stating he was skipping over the Capricorn man and Scorpio woman in bed.
But it is so easy. So natural. All my normal hangups are non-existent.
Are y'all sitting down? I have actually told him that I like him. Not only that but that I like him a lot. And I have done that on several occasions. Who in the hell am I?!?!
But I know like I know like I know that this is it. He focused in on the fact that per the astrological compatibility, we are soul mates.
Whatever title is affixed, I can only speak for myself in that for a very long time now I have known that Ballroom was for me. The feeling is so utterly different than anything I have ever felt.
Best part of this evening was that when we parted ways, we hugged and as we disentangled, he grabbed me around the waist and simply said, "kiss me good night" and he promptly planted a big kiss on my lips.
Life is good.
27 September 2015
strictly ballroom
It's been awhile since I have sat down and dedicated a bit of time to this little corner of my world.
So much has happened. A brand spanking new amazing job. An amazing man stepped onto the scene. Making friends in the Mile High City continues to be a challenge. The house remodel continues.
The new job opened the doorway for the new man to take hold in my world. His name is Ballroom. With 99% confidence, I can say that finally I have found him. I truly believe I have.
We are moving very slow and deliberately and that is good. I believe we both recognize the importance of the other. It is an unspoken knowledge and understanding between us.
I am beyond thankful and grateful that Ballroom is finally here. The wait has been well worth it.
So much has happened. A brand spanking new amazing job. An amazing man stepped onto the scene. Making friends in the Mile High City continues to be a challenge. The house remodel continues.
The new job opened the doorway for the new man to take hold in my world. His name is Ballroom. With 99% confidence, I can say that finally I have found him. I truly believe I have.
We are moving very slow and deliberately and that is good. I believe we both recognize the importance of the other. It is an unspoken knowledge and understanding between us.
I am beyond thankful and grateful that Ballroom is finally here. The wait has been well worth it.
15 October 2014
maybes
He avoided me all day.
Johnny never lets an opportunity to even simply pop his head in my office and say hi.
Today - post-text message - was pure avoidance.
Maybe I misread the road signs.
Maybe he rethought the situation.
Or maybe I am over thinking again.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe the maybes plague me more than they should.
Johnny never lets an opportunity to even simply pop his head in my office and say hi.
Today - post-text message - was pure avoidance.
Maybe I misread the road signs.
Maybe he rethought the situation.
Or maybe I am over thinking again.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe the maybes plague me more than they should.
14 October 2014
the next phase
I do love my job. The project, the people, the commute, the paycheck. Simply everything. I dwell in amazement that I quite literally got everything I wanted with this job.
We all know I am slow when it comes to men, so the fact that I figured this situation out in less than a year is absolutely stellar. There is a man at Disneyland that is interested in me. He isn't some geeky cast-off or short strange guy, which is delightful. The attraction is mutual; however, he is vocal about it whereas I am not. He's got spunk, drive, and confidence, which makes me weak in the knees.
Yesterday he marched into my office while I was speaking with a co-worker and declared, "I need you." The co-worker instinctively scattered like a cockroach citing he didn't need to be around for this conversation. The declaration was only Johnny needed me to help him with an errand but he did so in such a way to deliver two messages with one sentence. Johnny does this a lot. He also finds any reason to be close to me, like millimeters away close. A prime example being that when we left to run the errand, he did not walk ahead of me as he was blocking the aisle way but instead made me brush past him.
Later in the afternoon, I was speaking to a co-worker. Johnny came up behind me, within millimeters once again, his front to my back and placed his face near mine.
Today, again, bright and early he was back at my desk asking me to run an errand with him. Then this afternoon when we were in the desk farm, Johnny was right there next to me with barely air moving between us and of course found an excuse to lean into me.
All this lead me to send Johnny a text after work today inquiring about a cocktail this week. He isn't going to make the first move, that is very clear because while he is very forward, he hasn't pulled the trigger. Only when I provide a bit of encouragement does he then kick it up a notch. For some reason, I need to be the instigator of this grand affair.
And so I did. The text was warmly received and immediately responded to.
The story unfolds and the adventure continues...
We all know I am slow when it comes to men, so the fact that I figured this situation out in less than a year is absolutely stellar. There is a man at Disneyland that is interested in me. He isn't some geeky cast-off or short strange guy, which is delightful. The attraction is mutual; however, he is vocal about it whereas I am not. He's got spunk, drive, and confidence, which makes me weak in the knees.
Yesterday he marched into my office while I was speaking with a co-worker and declared, "I need you." The co-worker instinctively scattered like a cockroach citing he didn't need to be around for this conversation. The declaration was only Johnny needed me to help him with an errand but he did so in such a way to deliver two messages with one sentence. Johnny does this a lot. He also finds any reason to be close to me, like millimeters away close. A prime example being that when we left to run the errand, he did not walk ahead of me as he was blocking the aisle way but instead made me brush past him.
Later in the afternoon, I was speaking to a co-worker. Johnny came up behind me, within millimeters once again, his front to my back and placed his face near mine.
Today, again, bright and early he was back at my desk asking me to run an errand with him. Then this afternoon when we were in the desk farm, Johnny was right there next to me with barely air moving between us and of course found an excuse to lean into me.
All this lead me to send Johnny a text after work today inquiring about a cocktail this week. He isn't going to make the first move, that is very clear because while he is very forward, he hasn't pulled the trigger. Only when I provide a bit of encouragement does he then kick it up a notch. For some reason, I need to be the instigator of this grand affair.
And so I did. The text was warmly received and immediately responded to.
The story unfolds and the adventure continues...
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