Decided to be brave and muck around with my template. Yeah, cutting and pasting code is difficult stuff... but for a non-techno girl like me, cut-paste-save was quite a huge commitment.
but things look ok. change is good. enjoying the hot pink overload! today must be a pink day... was drooling over pink cowboy boots earlier today too...
10 May 2008
08 May 2008
33.5
I am on the mend. Of course, missing a full week of corporate slave duties has made this week pure craziness, but must muddle through.
Today. May 8th. Means I am officially half way through my 33rd year. 33 1/2... wow. Kinda nutty to know that I am six little months away from 34.
This realization struck me as I wrote the date in my notebook this morning. I do not feel anywhere remotely near 33, let alone the 34 that is sneaking up on me.
Am I where I thought I should be by this stage in my life?
That is a difficult question to answer. It is a split between yes and no. A part of me never looked that far forward. Right now, I feel like I am living the dream... the past year has been pure dream. and I am so extraordinarily thankful for this experience. Personal life has been dicey but that too is coming around.
While my life to this point has been good, deep within my heart, I know the best is yet to come!
Today. May 8th. Means I am officially half way through my 33rd year. 33 1/2... wow. Kinda nutty to know that I am six little months away from 34.
This realization struck me as I wrote the date in my notebook this morning. I do not feel anywhere remotely near 33, let alone the 34 that is sneaking up on me.
Am I where I thought I should be by this stage in my life?
That is a difficult question to answer. It is a split between yes and no. A part of me never looked that far forward. Right now, I feel like I am living the dream... the past year has been pure dream. and I am so extraordinarily thankful for this experience. Personal life has been dicey but that too is coming around.
While my life to this point has been good, deep within my heart, I know the best is yet to come!
02 May 2008
One Word Friday
From Colleen -
If you get something out of a vending machine, it’s most likely the: Snickers
A word you sometimes catch yourself misspelling: because
You least want people to see you as: dull
You’re a little scared of: snakes
The least attractive thing you do in your sleep: snore
The number of contacts in your cell phone: thirtyish
How many of them are restaurants: none
You lose your cool when someone: patronizing
When you go to the drugstore, you often can’t leave without buying: candy
Your dance moves can best be described as: silly
The majority of your underwear is: low-rise
Something you eat even though you hate how bad it is for you: chips
You think you’re really not a great: presenter
How much cash is in your wallet right now: $32
The majority of your shoes are this color: black
You don’t think you’ll ever be able to get rid of your: shyness
If your breath is bad, it’s most likely because you had the: onions
You feel embarrassed when you: calm-up
The last public place where you used the restroom: office
Something you don’t like to debate in mixed company: politics
You don’t think you can pull off wearing: bikini
Something you own entirely too much of: shoes
The last thing that you spilled on yourself: dressing
If you were on a reality show, the producers would likely portray/characterize you as the: quiet-menace
If you get something out of a vending machine, it’s most likely the: Snickers
A word you sometimes catch yourself misspelling: because
You least want people to see you as: dull
You’re a little scared of: snakes
The least attractive thing you do in your sleep: snore
The number of contacts in your cell phone: thirtyish
How many of them are restaurants: none
You lose your cool when someone: patronizing
When you go to the drugstore, you often can’t leave without buying: candy
Your dance moves can best be described as: silly
The majority of your underwear is: low-rise
Something you eat even though you hate how bad it is for you: chips
You think you’re really not a great: presenter
How much cash is in your wallet right now: $32
The majority of your shoes are this color: black
You don’t think you’ll ever be able to get rid of your: shyness
If your breath is bad, it’s most likely because you had the: onions
You feel embarrassed when you: calm-up
The last public place where you used the restroom: office
Something you don’t like to debate in mixed company: politics
You don’t think you can pull off wearing: bikini
Something you own entirely too much of: shoes
The last thing that you spilled on yourself: dressing
If you were on a reality show, the producers would likely portray/characterize you as the: quiet-menace
29 April 2008
Germs
I am sick. Germs have invaded my body and made me their bitch. Breathing out of my nose... a distance memory. Sleeping without the aid of Nyquil... what is sleep if not a Nyquil induced coma. I should not complain as I have not been sick for at least a year. But man, these little germies are kicking my bum!
Off to happily swallow more Nyquil, so that I can let the germs have their party in my body whilst I sleep it off.
Off to happily swallow more Nyquil, so that I can let the germs have their party in my body whilst I sleep it off.
25 April 2008
Joys of Being a Girl!
This week has whizzed by.
All week I felt extremely exhausted and terribly bloated - Hi PMS, thanks for stopping by and staying awhile! Kisses! Even though I am remain bloated, at least I am awake and bloated today. I despise this rollie-pollie bloated feeling. All this in the face of the fact that I am downing two tablespoons of organic unfiltered apple cider to reduce said bloated yuckiness! Oh the humanity! Enough on my PMS bloating woes!
Arriving at my desk on Wednesday morning, imagine my giddy, unbridled happiness to see an email from none other than The Southern Gentleman. As if to be an unsolicited email from him following up on my Saturday bead show adventure. Positive forward movement... baby steps...
Starting my crusade against the last 5-to-7 pounds desperately clinging to my arse. All about fresh veggies and no corn syrup secretly hiding in the processed items I consume. Label reading, what a joy. Of course, PMS reared itself in my longing looks at the Oreo choices. But I held strong to the cart's rail and kept on rolling down the aisle. Only to sabotaged and rendered completely helpless against the hiding sidecap of Oreos - strawberry milkshake Oreos. The strange part of all this, I do not care for Oreos. That however did not stop the Oreos from tasting absolutely delicious... *shakes fist in air, cursing PMS once again*
Looking forward to a relaxing weekend. The pups and I will take our big walk. I must get more diligent at walking every other night with them now that I discovered a not-so-ghetto section of the neighborhood sans wild rabid dogs running amok. Also have to make time for meditation, which should be aided by the exercise and not being exhausted.
Goodness, this was rather boring. Holding thumbs for a few fun stories to result from the weekend!
All week I felt extremely exhausted and terribly bloated - Hi PMS, thanks for stopping by and staying awhile! Kisses! Even though I am remain bloated, at least I am awake and bloated today. I despise this rollie-pollie bloated feeling. All this in the face of the fact that I am downing two tablespoons of organic unfiltered apple cider to reduce said bloated yuckiness! Oh the humanity! Enough on my PMS bloating woes!
Arriving at my desk on Wednesday morning, imagine my giddy, unbridled happiness to see an email from none other than The Southern Gentleman. As if to be an unsolicited email from him following up on my Saturday bead show adventure. Positive forward movement... baby steps...
Starting my crusade against the last 5-to-7 pounds desperately clinging to my arse. All about fresh veggies and no corn syrup secretly hiding in the processed items I consume. Label reading, what a joy. Of course, PMS reared itself in my longing looks at the Oreo choices. But I held strong to the cart's rail and kept on rolling down the aisle. Only to sabotaged and rendered completely helpless against the hiding sidecap of Oreos - strawberry milkshake Oreos. The strange part of all this, I do not care for Oreos. That however did not stop the Oreos from tasting absolutely delicious... *shakes fist in air, cursing PMS once again*
Looking forward to a relaxing weekend. The pups and I will take our big walk. I must get more diligent at walking every other night with them now that I discovered a not-so-ghetto section of the neighborhood sans wild rabid dogs running amok. Also have to make time for meditation, which should be aided by the exercise and not being exhausted.
Goodness, this was rather boring. Holding thumbs for a few fun stories to result from the weekend!
21 April 2008
ring-a-ding-ding!
The Mile High hit-and-run went swimmingly well. Did not get anything accomplished besides the major milestones; but sleeping in my king sized bed was fabulous.
Saturday was a non-stop day in SxSWland. Social calendar fully booked - started at 8 AM and finally dwindled to a close in the 10 PM realm. While a magical fab day filled with friends, the icing was found in the surprise phone call from The Southern Gentleman.
All morning long, I had been thinking about him as I was going to the gem and bead show. About an hour into the show - late morning - my mobile rang. Needless to say I was taken aback to read his name on the caller id (usually he calls in the evening).
The Southern Gentleman's voice drips my name and I tell him that I have been thinking about him all morning. His response - "Were they hot and steamy thoughts?" to which I replied "but of course!"
He proceeded to share with me that he was very hungover, much like after our Friday night out a few weeks ago. I asked what type of fun he got into and he shared the adventures of an evening with the boys. He had family commitments over the weekend that precluded him from having a couch movie day to recover from his hangover.
I was so happy that he called. He called because he was thinking about our time together when we were both nursing hangovers. He called because he was thinking about me. What more could a girl ask for?!
My girlfriends don't know what to make of The Southern Gentleman's mixed messages. But they also don't know the depth of our conversations. They don't know our entire history; only the snippets I've shared.
I have the faith in us. And that is all that matters.
Saturday was a non-stop day in SxSWland. Social calendar fully booked - started at 8 AM and finally dwindled to a close in the 10 PM realm. While a magical fab day filled with friends, the icing was found in the surprise phone call from The Southern Gentleman.
All morning long, I had been thinking about him as I was going to the gem and bead show. About an hour into the show - late morning - my mobile rang. Needless to say I was taken aback to read his name on the caller id (usually he calls in the evening).
The Southern Gentleman's voice drips my name and I tell him that I have been thinking about him all morning. His response - "Were they hot and steamy thoughts?" to which I replied "but of course!"
He proceeded to share with me that he was very hungover, much like after our Friday night out a few weeks ago. I asked what type of fun he got into and he shared the adventures of an evening with the boys. He had family commitments over the weekend that precluded him from having a couch movie day to recover from his hangover.
I was so happy that he called. He called because he was thinking about our time together when we were both nursing hangovers. He called because he was thinking about me. What more could a girl ask for?!
My girlfriends don't know what to make of The Southern Gentleman's mixed messages. But they also don't know the depth of our conversations. They don't know our entire history; only the snippets I've shared.
I have the faith in us. And that is all that matters.
16 April 2008
Reflections
I looked into her face, her eyes and for the first time in a very long time, I smiled back at her because I like what I see. Actually, I love what I see. She has the twinkle back in her blue, blue eyes. Her face lights up when she smiles. The light radiates from her. And the smile. It is not forced any more. There is no act. That smile is there because she cannot help but give into it.
She is happy again. Truly happy from the depth of her spirit - and that feeling that permeates her being is manifested with ease on her exterior because she cannot help it. She has stopped sabotaging herself, she sees, appreciates and accepts her subtle beauty. She is making strides in accepting her body - both the good and the bad. This is huge as before all she ever saw were bad parts that needed to be changed. Acceptance.
The self-confidence and self-esteem that was once an act is now pure and real. The dreams of true friends and fabulous social life are the tangible reality of her daily life. She readily let people into her life, where once that was a taboo, vulnerability was not allowed. No longer afraid to walk that balance beam because someone will catch her if she falls - and someone will help her get back on.
This knowledge has proven to be liberating for her. It has freed her, so that she is a conduit of love - most importantly loving herself for the first time in her life - unconditional love. And she sees that shift has changed her entire existence. And change is very good.
Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I was at the basin uncapping the contact solution bottles. As I was preparing to extricate the little plastic discs from my eyeballs, I caught this glimpse of myself in the mirror, which caused me to stop.
She is happy again. Truly happy from the depth of her spirit - and that feeling that permeates her being is manifested with ease on her exterior because she cannot help it. She has stopped sabotaging herself, she sees, appreciates and accepts her subtle beauty. She is making strides in accepting her body - both the good and the bad. This is huge as before all she ever saw were bad parts that needed to be changed. Acceptance.
The self-confidence and self-esteem that was once an act is now pure and real. The dreams of true friends and fabulous social life are the tangible reality of her daily life. She readily let people into her life, where once that was a taboo, vulnerability was not allowed. No longer afraid to walk that balance beam because someone will catch her if she falls - and someone will help her get back on.
This knowledge has proven to be liberating for her. It has freed her, so that she is a conduit of love - most importantly loving herself for the first time in her life - unconditional love. And she sees that shift has changed her entire existence. And change is very good.
Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I was at the basin uncapping the contact solution bottles. As I was preparing to extricate the little plastic discs from my eyeballs, I caught this glimpse of myself in the mirror, which caused me to stop.
14 April 2008
Post Delights
After a full Saturday morning and early afternoon, I went home to release the pups from their crates and get my house cleaned for our girls nite in.
While the pups were outside frolicking, I went down to the post box. To my surprise there was one piece of mail - a card - from none other than The Southern Gentleman.
My heart lept with delight. I was not expecting it. Our cards must have crossed in the mail. He was sweet thanking me for another wonderful time in SxSWland. He mentioned that he appreciates my support on his new business venture complete with two exclamation marks. The Southern Gentleman went on to state that we had "too much fun" (underlined twice) on our Friday night out - the night I figuratively and literally threw myself all over him.
A man who sends me handwritten cards... aaahhh...
Makes me miss him all the more...
Wonder what went through his mind as I signed my card to him "love ~ P"
While the pups were outside frolicking, I went down to the post box. To my surprise there was one piece of mail - a card - from none other than The Southern Gentleman.
My heart lept with delight. I was not expecting it. Our cards must have crossed in the mail. He was sweet thanking me for another wonderful time in SxSWland. He mentioned that he appreciates my support on his new business venture complete with two exclamation marks. The Southern Gentleman went on to state that we had "too much fun" (underlined twice) on our Friday night out - the night I figuratively and literally threw myself all over him.
A man who sends me handwritten cards... aaahhh...
Makes me miss him all the more...
Wonder what went through his mind as I signed my card to him "love ~ P"
Monday Morning Wheel
monday mornings... they have been feeling tiresome of late. i walk into the office feeling like a hamster running on its wheel. it takes me a bit to get going.
i need to find my work mojo again.
i need to focus.
i need to find my work mojo again.
i need to focus.
11 April 2008
Random Friday Babbling
Today it is quiet at the office. I soak in these rare quiet moments when the stress has literally left the building. I was able to pop over to Starbucks for a much needed caffeine boost.
Life is ducky. Work isn't nearly stressing me out as it once did. My social life is full of happy goodness. One thing I will miss when I leave SxSWland for the Deep South is my fabulous girlfriends. All my life I have craved girlfriends and that long sought dream has become my reality out here. I know that if I could find that here, I will be able to cultivate that again in the Deep South.
I have been doing a better job at meditating, especially for my upcoming day retreat next month. I have been sitting down every other night and it is getting easier to disconnect my brain from the constant chatter of my thoughts.
Sent The Southern Gentleman an email earlier this week to which he promptly responded - as if to be waiting to here from me, maybe? He was in good spirits and spoke of what local purchase I'd make next time he is out here since I now have the cowboy boots. For some reason, my boot purchase was very important to him.
As for Montana Man news this week, I formally closed an open window of our relationship. It felt good to turn yet another page, to get one step closer to that final page. I am so close to closing the book. For. Good.
And as I make a stride forward on my goal, of course, Montana Man contacted me via IM yesterday. He wanted to know when I'd be home next as he is seeking a booty call. It has been some time since he and I engaged in the horizontal polka and quite frankly I have zero desire to have sex with him anymore (even in light of it being really good sex!). What I do desire is getting my house key back from him along with his monthly loan payment. But truly my house key is at the forefront.
You know, I typed those sentences above and feel good to my depths in knowing that I am truly ready to break free from Montana Man once and for all. Yippee Pats!! I am done.
Life is ducky. Work isn't nearly stressing me out as it once did. My social life is full of happy goodness. One thing I will miss when I leave SxSWland for the Deep South is my fabulous girlfriends. All my life I have craved girlfriends and that long sought dream has become my reality out here. I know that if I could find that here, I will be able to cultivate that again in the Deep South.
I have been doing a better job at meditating, especially for my upcoming day retreat next month. I have been sitting down every other night and it is getting easier to disconnect my brain from the constant chatter of my thoughts.
Sent The Southern Gentleman an email earlier this week to which he promptly responded - as if to be waiting to here from me, maybe? He was in good spirits and spoke of what local purchase I'd make next time he is out here since I now have the cowboy boots. For some reason, my boot purchase was very important to him.
As for Montana Man news this week, I formally closed an open window of our relationship. It felt good to turn yet another page, to get one step closer to that final page. I am so close to closing the book. For. Good.
And as I make a stride forward on my goal, of course, Montana Man contacted me via IM yesterday. He wanted to know when I'd be home next as he is seeking a booty call. It has been some time since he and I engaged in the horizontal polka and quite frankly I have zero desire to have sex with him anymore (even in light of it being really good sex!). What I do desire is getting my house key back from him along with his monthly loan payment. But truly my house key is at the forefront.
You know, I typed those sentences above and feel good to my depths in knowing that I am truly ready to break free from Montana Man once and for all. Yippee Pats!! I am done.
Now for The Southern Gentleman to do his soul searching pronto! Because this chickadee is ready for a new adventure in the Deep South!
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