Whirl wind. Insanity. Disbelief.
Since Wednesday afternoon, my world has completely been upended.
On Wednesday, Super Dad and I went to a meeting that is typically internal only but due to the focus topic, the life-sucking vampire project, we were there along with the big dog customer. At this meeting I received accolades from both my management and the customer because I am successfully completing the life-sucking vampire project, where everyone before me has failed - I was floored. Completely. Utterly. Floored. To have that said - who said it - in front of the audience. I still don't quite believe it.
As Super Dad and I drove to the meeting together, he was convinced that some of our co-workers are growing suspicious of our togetherness. I disagreed with him. We stopped at Bux before heading back to the grind and sat outside to enjoy our caffeine loaded delights. It was here that he shared that once his son is out of high school, he wants to living full throttle again; however, the women that he meets that are his age aren't into go-go-go and that is why he believes he needs to be with a younger woman. Cue Patsy and all her stories about her adventures down here. Then he made some comment about me being the next Mrs. Super Dad. I told him emphatically that I will not change my last name. I am Patsy Wanderlust. And no, Patsy Wanderlust-Super Dad will not fly either. He told me he could live with that - at the end of the day, all that really mattered would be that we were together and I wore his ring. Alrighty then.
Then Wednesday night, we headed to a restaurant on the lake. Sunset at the end of the dock bar, sipping cocktails and talking. Super Dad inquired as to when my last relationship was - he quantified by stating not serial dating, but a true relationship. I had to think about it - and the answer was Montana Man. Wow - that feels like eons ago now. Super Dad has really watched me because some of the observations he shared surprised me. We called it a night and he walked me to my car. Imagine my surprise when Super Dad took my face in his hands and kissed me right there in the parking lot. I wasn't expecting it. And let me tell you, my darlings, I have not been kissed like that in a very, very long time. Wowzers.
So yesterday (Thursday), we both had a bit of giddiness bubbling under the surface. Then we get an invitation to be interviewed about the success of the life-sucking vampire project to be featured for the entire company. Again, I am floored. I cannot believe it still.
Then, Thursday evening was our life-sucking vampire team dinner/Super Dad's going away dinner. Super Dad has extended his stay a few more weeks to help me finish the life-sucking vampire. I am super excited about that. Any way, dinner was fabulous fun and I do love my team. After the group disbursed, I was headed home when Super Dad called. We decided to have a debrief cocktail. In this, I missed my exit and was turning around when he asked me out on a date. I inquired as to how this was any different from the rest of our dates and he stated it wouldn't be an after work, we're exhausted like usual thing. I joked that I have a tough boss who works me 7 days a week. He joked back that he'd see what he could do. It was a fun conversation.
So we went for a cocktail. The bar was packed but we got a corner of a table outside. Super Dad asked what I thought when he kissed me the previous evening. I told him, honestly, part of me was surprised and the other half wasn't. He was beyond delightful - it is great to have my cheeks hurting from so much smiling and laughing. He is very sweet, kind, and considerate. He walked me to my car. We hugged. He took my hands in his and just looked at me, drank me in, then he kissed me good night.
We saw each other a bit this morning at the office. Super Dad called as I was en route to the office and he was running late. The reason for his call - to get my coffee order as he was picking up our coffee on his way in. He had to leave for the airport and I had to leave for a meeting, so we really didn't say good bye. I did call him after my meeting was done though. He was giggly asking me if I could fit into his suitcase so he could take me home with him.
And with this turn of events, my wondering, my insecurities are washed away.
16 April 2010
13 April 2010
interpretation
some days i wonder if i make up all these crazy ideas.
i think i take things too personally sometimes.
i tried my hardest not to be cool to super dad yesterday but i was miffed about sunday night and work getting in the way. i still know i was a bit chilly.
then i start to doubt my entire take on the situation. one of my greatest faults is my binary nature - i am a light switch - i am either on or off - shades of gray can be hard to find in certain aspects of my life, my interpretation of a situation.
however, last night super dad and i had dinner with a co-worker and his wife. then today super dad was flirty again. tonight we had dinner together.
he prefaces his conversations with giggles and winks of jest but he talks about our 'dates' and pretending that there is something going on with us in front of our co-workers. i thought that it was in jest but at the same time i wonder if it is wishful thinking - i teeter-totter between the two scenarios - not knowing which to believe. my insecurity creeps to the forefront.
i think i take things too personally sometimes.
i tried my hardest not to be cool to super dad yesterday but i was miffed about sunday night and work getting in the way. i still know i was a bit chilly.
then i start to doubt my entire take on the situation. one of my greatest faults is my binary nature - i am a light switch - i am either on or off - shades of gray can be hard to find in certain aspects of my life, my interpretation of a situation.
however, last night super dad and i had dinner with a co-worker and his wife. then today super dad was flirty again. tonight we had dinner together.
he prefaces his conversations with giggles and winks of jest but he talks about our 'dates' and pretending that there is something going on with us in front of our co-workers. i thought that it was in jest but at the same time i wonder if it is wishful thinking - i teeter-totter between the two scenarios - not knowing which to believe. my insecurity creeps to the forefront.
11 April 2010
never a smooth road
Remember my excitement about the Sunday night cocktail rendezvous with Super Dad.
Yeah, not happening. Thank you, work.
Disappointed.
But I did complete a 10k today!
Yeah, not happening. Thank you, work.
Disappointed.
But I did complete a 10k today!
10 April 2010
realizations
I survived another week. Sadly, my evenings haven't been fun like they used to be; these days, I pass out in front of the television with a glass (or two, or three) of vino. I am hoping that with summer rapidly approaching and truly believing the life-sucking vampire project making great strides, I will be able to restore balance in my life. Because I certainly do miss it, kids.
Smack dab in the middle of the week, Super Dad half whispered into the phone, "Want to meet for a drink after I get in on Sunday night again?" My yes was immediate, instantaneous, excited. Plans are progressing for my visit. Honestly, I am super excited for Sunday night and even more excited for the mini-holiday. I also find myself sad that his days as my partner in crime will be ending soon. Proximity is everything.
Edina is being very supportive; whereas, Shelley was hands down opposed to my even entertaining the thought.
But I am done with labels. I am tired of the 'shoulds', the rules, the expectations set by someone who has never walked in my high heeled shoes. My life is anything but 'normal'. I possess all the creature comforts - a home, a car, a job - but compared to everyone else in my age bracket, I am not married with kids, my picket fence is painted red, I continue to be hungry, I am ok with being alone, don't need someone else to define me. I am a nomad - my gypsy roots still tug at my heart - feeding that wanderlust and adventure that circulates through me, that is as vital to me as blood and oxygen. My life doesn't fit nicely into a little blue box, but I have never liked confined spaces. The chances, the consequences of this tryst are no different than those of the Leech, Montana Man, The Southern Gentleman, or any of the other ghosts of christmas past. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Jumping in, wholeheartedly, just as I do with everything else. No regrets.
Smack dab in the middle of the week, Super Dad half whispered into the phone, "Want to meet for a drink after I get in on Sunday night again?" My yes was immediate, instantaneous, excited. Plans are progressing for my visit. Honestly, I am super excited for Sunday night and even more excited for the mini-holiday. I also find myself sad that his days as my partner in crime will be ending soon. Proximity is everything.
Edina is being very supportive; whereas, Shelley was hands down opposed to my even entertaining the thought.
But I am done with labels. I am tired of the 'shoulds', the rules, the expectations set by someone who has never walked in my high heeled shoes. My life is anything but 'normal'. I possess all the creature comforts - a home, a car, a job - but compared to everyone else in my age bracket, I am not married with kids, my picket fence is painted red, I continue to be hungry, I am ok with being alone, don't need someone else to define me. I am a nomad - my gypsy roots still tug at my heart - feeding that wanderlust and adventure that circulates through me, that is as vital to me as blood and oxygen. My life doesn't fit nicely into a little blue box, but I have never liked confined spaces. The chances, the consequences of this tryst are no different than those of the Leech, Montana Man, The Southern Gentleman, or any of the other ghosts of christmas past. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Jumping in, wholeheartedly, just as I do with everything else. No regrets.
03 April 2010
thursday night surprises
Thursday, my lovelies, was another interesting one.
I waltzed into the office donning one of my new dresses - this one was solid chocolate brown, no cleavage popping, interesting sleeves - and crossed the threshold into the conference room as Super Dad was exiting. Upon seeing me, the man literally stopped and I thought his eyes just might explode. As I continued on to my table, he stood in the doorway asking if that was one of the dresses he bought me.
You see, sometime during the life-sucking vampire project, I started telling Super Dad that he owed me a dress when I made a major milestone or pulled off some incredible miracle. If I bought a dress over the weekend, when I wore it to work, I tell him, "You bought this for me." Of course, no money has ever changed hands but it is our on-going joke. In fact, the entire team is a part of it now. One man is my official dress accountant and he even recently wrote up the dress promissory note for Super Dad and me.
Super Dad and I had a f*cking fantastic meeting with executive management that afternoon. Late Wednesday night I had a brilliant idea of how to display our progress of the life-sucking vampire project that excited me to no end. The brass loved it! And I felt wicked awesome. Amazing things are happening!
Both Super Dad and I were on a huge high. Early evening back at the office, Super Dad inquires about my evening plans because he said we needed to work late for the big boss man. I had planned on meeting Edina and a few friends for dinner but told Super Dad I would cancel as the new big boss man hasn't been happy the progress we've been making until this afternoon. Paying my mortgage and staying in Austin take precedence some days.
I explained to Edina I had to work late due to higher powers. About 6:30 PM is when the dimly glowing light bulb should have went off over my head, but alas, oblivious, thy name is Patsy. Super Dad tells me to pack up as we need to head to the north office. While odd, I complied as I am not privy to all the big decisions.
We jump into Super Dad's rental, which we affectionately called 'The Bat Mobile' as this week was a black Chevy Cobalt. Heading north Super Dad receives a few calls that he places on speaker for me to overhear as if to be sharing more and more of his personal life. It is when we pass the exit that the light switch is flipped to the on position.
Super Dad proceeds to inform me that he is whisking me away to have dinner with our mutual co-worker/friend out on her ranch outside of town. I was speechless. He handed me the scribbled directions and told me to be on the lookout for a liquor store to pick up wine.
En route we made a quick vino stop at the local grocery store. At the wine aisle, Super Dad told me to work my magic. Exiting the grocery, he stated in jest, "Here again we are going off alone." But I think it was only partly in jest.
We arrived at Horse Ranchers without calling for directions. Due to my recent trip home, I now know what a preggo horse looks like and was able to know there were two on the ranch. Super Dad was skittish around the horses, but the horses were very friendly and I spent time with them. Later I took a ride around a small portion of the property with the Mr. Horse, who was intoxicated and that mixed with gravel roads meant I wore more of my vodka martini than I consumed. It was still a wonderful night. Mrs. Horse and I had a wicked time teasing Super Dad. You see, Mrs. Horse and Super Dad have known each other over 30 years because they started working for the company at the same time. Together, she and I leave that poor man squirming and begging for mercy. While he does protest, Super Dad thoroughly enjoys it.
In the dark, in the middle of nowhere, my sense of direction got us back to the highway. Our conversation home was about life over the years on this larger programme. Super Dad dropped me at my car and as it is awkward, I told him thank you and headed to my car. That thin blue line remains a bit difficult for me to maneuver.
I waltzed into the office donning one of my new dresses - this one was solid chocolate brown, no cleavage popping, interesting sleeves - and crossed the threshold into the conference room as Super Dad was exiting. Upon seeing me, the man literally stopped and I thought his eyes just might explode. As I continued on to my table, he stood in the doorway asking if that was one of the dresses he bought me.
You see, sometime during the life-sucking vampire project, I started telling Super Dad that he owed me a dress when I made a major milestone or pulled off some incredible miracle. If I bought a dress over the weekend, when I wore it to work, I tell him, "You bought this for me." Of course, no money has ever changed hands but it is our on-going joke. In fact, the entire team is a part of it now. One man is my official dress accountant and he even recently wrote up the dress promissory note for Super Dad and me.
Super Dad and I had a f*cking fantastic meeting with executive management that afternoon. Late Wednesday night I had a brilliant idea of how to display our progress of the life-sucking vampire project that excited me to no end. The brass loved it! And I felt wicked awesome. Amazing things are happening!
Both Super Dad and I were on a huge high. Early evening back at the office, Super Dad inquires about my evening plans because he said we needed to work late for the big boss man. I had planned on meeting Edina and a few friends for dinner but told Super Dad I would cancel as the new big boss man hasn't been happy the progress we've been making until this afternoon. Paying my mortgage and staying in Austin take precedence some days.
I explained to Edina I had to work late due to higher powers. About 6:30 PM is when the dimly glowing light bulb should have went off over my head, but alas, oblivious, thy name is Patsy. Super Dad tells me to pack up as we need to head to the north office. While odd, I complied as I am not privy to all the big decisions.
We jump into Super Dad's rental, which we affectionately called 'The Bat Mobile' as this week was a black Chevy Cobalt. Heading north Super Dad receives a few calls that he places on speaker for me to overhear as if to be sharing more and more of his personal life. It is when we pass the exit that the light switch is flipped to the on position.
Super Dad proceeds to inform me that he is whisking me away to have dinner with our mutual co-worker/friend out on her ranch outside of town. I was speechless. He handed me the scribbled directions and told me to be on the lookout for a liquor store to pick up wine.
En route we made a quick vino stop at the local grocery store. At the wine aisle, Super Dad told me to work my magic. Exiting the grocery, he stated in jest, "Here again we are going off alone." But I think it was only partly in jest.
We arrived at Horse Ranchers without calling for directions. Due to my recent trip home, I now know what a preggo horse looks like and was able to know there were two on the ranch. Super Dad was skittish around the horses, but the horses were very friendly and I spent time with them. Later I took a ride around a small portion of the property with the Mr. Horse, who was intoxicated and that mixed with gravel roads meant I wore more of my vodka martini than I consumed. It was still a wonderful night. Mrs. Horse and I had a wicked time teasing Super Dad. You see, Mrs. Horse and Super Dad have known each other over 30 years because they started working for the company at the same time. Together, she and I leave that poor man squirming and begging for mercy. While he does protest, Super Dad thoroughly enjoys it.
In the dark, in the middle of nowhere, my sense of direction got us back to the highway. Our conversation home was about life over the years on this larger programme. Super Dad dropped me at my car and as it is awkward, I told him thank you and headed to my car. That thin blue line remains a bit difficult for me to maneuver.
02 April 2010
because you asked
Fiona asked an important question:
"Whatever happened to Bolt in the end, I think last I heard he'd disappointed you by not turning up?"
After the consecutive weekend adventures with Bolt, when left to his own devices, he never demonstrated any initiative. Not a single phone call or email.
The last straw was upon returning to Austin from my angel of death mission, I sent Bolt a sweet little birthday text message. Any sort of acknowledgement from Bolt? Nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. A week later Bolt resurrects responding with a text of thanks for the birthday wishes. It only elicited disgust as I tossed the phone to Edina for her intake. At that point, Endina told me that earlier Homey had sent Bolt a message about our evening cocktail plans to which Bolt replied he had plans to catch a movie. And with that, Bolt was off my books.
"Whatever happened to Bolt in the end, I think last I heard he'd disappointed you by not turning up?"
After the consecutive weekend adventures with Bolt, when left to his own devices, he never demonstrated any initiative. Not a single phone call or email.
The last straw was upon returning to Austin from my angel of death mission, I sent Bolt a sweet little birthday text message. Any sort of acknowledgement from Bolt? Nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. A week later Bolt resurrects responding with a text of thanks for the birthday wishes. It only elicited disgust as I tossed the phone to Edina for her intake. At that point, Endina told me that earlier Homey had sent Bolt a message about our evening cocktail plans to which Bolt replied he had plans to catch a movie. And with that, Bolt was off my books.
31 March 2010
crossing the thin blue line
With Bolt dead to me, The Southern Gentleman suddenly whining his sad song my way again, we need to throw another player in to the mix. And no, it is not the dreaded Montana Man. It is Super Dad.
Picture it - Austin - last night - after a long day at the office, I was diligently 'typing' the text message to Edina while standing my car in the parking garage. As we park on the same deck, Super Dad drives by, honks, and goes on his merry way exiting the garage. I receive a phone call from Super Dad shortly after I finished pushing send on Edina-bound text - because let's face it, I am slow with all that text stuff. Super Dad tells to join him for dinner. I think nothing of it because we have done this a lot.
Fast forward now to dinner. The waitress inquires about dessert. Super Dad tells her that we are on our first date and he doesn't know if I am going to agree to grab a cocktail with him after dinner. The waitress starts suggesting places and I am merely trying not to laugh due to his dead pan delivery. As we are crossing the street leaving the restaurant, Super Dad states, 'That waitress really thought this was a first date. If she only knew how many dates we've really been on.'
Cue the ever dim light bulb going on over my head.
Then I start connecting the dots on past conversation and quite frankly I am a blooming idiot. Super Dad is going to fly me to his home town to go to his friend's big party for the weekend - they supposedly throw these wild parties - all delivered under the guise of thanking me for my work and I naively bought that.
Sunday, enjoying my buzz, I sent him a text message as I knew he had landed in town. Super Dad called me instantaneously after I sent him that text message. My first and last Irish Car Bomb provided me with liquid courage that left a nasty hangover.
I crossed the thin blue line that resides in my split of personal life and work life. However, Super Dad's time on the life-draining vampire project is coming to an end. Time to enjoy and try to not get caught up with my lines.
Picture it - Austin - last night - after a long day at the office, I was diligently 'typing' the text message to Edina while standing my car in the parking garage. As we park on the same deck, Super Dad drives by, honks, and goes on his merry way exiting the garage. I receive a phone call from Super Dad shortly after I finished pushing send on Edina-bound text - because let's face it, I am slow with all that text stuff. Super Dad tells to join him for dinner. I think nothing of it because we have done this a lot.
Fast forward now to dinner. The waitress inquires about dessert. Super Dad tells her that we are on our first date and he doesn't know if I am going to agree to grab a cocktail with him after dinner. The waitress starts suggesting places and I am merely trying not to laugh due to his dead pan delivery. As we are crossing the street leaving the restaurant, Super Dad states, 'That waitress really thought this was a first date. If she only knew how many dates we've really been on.'
Cue the ever dim light bulb going on over my head.
Then I start connecting the dots on past conversation and quite frankly I am a blooming idiot. Super Dad is going to fly me to his home town to go to his friend's big party for the weekend - they supposedly throw these wild parties - all delivered under the guise of thanking me for my work and I naively bought that.
Sunday, enjoying my buzz, I sent him a text message as I knew he had landed in town. Super Dad called me instantaneously after I sent him that text message. My first and last Irish Car Bomb provided me with liquid courage that left a nasty hangover.
I crossed the thin blue line that resides in my split of personal life and work life. However, Super Dad's time on the life-draining vampire project is coming to an end. Time to enjoy and try to not get caught up with my lines.
27 March 2010
under the weather
I am currently caught in not-feeling-so-hot land. Somewhere between a cold and nasty allergy attack. I am eating zyrtec, benadryl, and tylenol sinus like candy. Of course, this means I spent most of yesterday unconscious on the couch and I don't see much movement today either.
The dog is going to be the death of me. Usually a quiet girl, she has been crying in my ear to let her outside to enjoy the weather. This behavior is not appreciated when I am sick.
Here's to another day on the couch!
The dog is going to be the death of me. Usually a quiet girl, she has been crying in my ear to let her outside to enjoy the weather. This behavior is not appreciated when I am sick.
Here's to another day on the couch!
11 March 2010
of death and dying
This week I am broadcasting live from the frozen tundra. I do not miss it here. Life in this cow town is dull; it is life on a hamster wheel, which is a fate worse than death to this girl.
Speaking of death and dying, that is the entire reason I winged my way back here at the spur of the moment last Saturday. My mother's 90+ year old mother started hospice care a few weeks ago and upon enduring a less-than-fun phone call with my mother filled with phrases like "don't judge me" and "you have no idea what it's like here', I decided it was time to get my behind on an airplane.
A little more than 24 hours after my arrival, the old lady was dead. I like to think I released her as clearly my mother was selfishly holding on to her for dear life. I am all about quality as opposed to quantity and quality was definitely non-existent.
My grandmother and I never really had a relationship. She was disinterested in me. It was all about her and only her. When Helen and The Queen died, I cried and cried; I felt deep sense of loss and great sadness - even today. However, with my grandmother, it is sadly quite different as I find myself not having any emotion or feeling of loss. Crazy, huh.
Speaking of death and dying, that is the entire reason I winged my way back here at the spur of the moment last Saturday. My mother's 90+ year old mother started hospice care a few weeks ago and upon enduring a less-than-fun phone call with my mother filled with phrases like "don't judge me" and "you have no idea what it's like here', I decided it was time to get my behind on an airplane.
A little more than 24 hours after my arrival, the old lady was dead. I like to think I released her as clearly my mother was selfishly holding on to her for dear life. I am all about quality as opposed to quantity and quality was definitely non-existent.
My grandmother and I never really had a relationship. She was disinterested in me. It was all about her and only her. When Helen and The Queen died, I cried and cried; I felt deep sense of loss and great sadness - even today. However, with my grandmother, it is sadly quite different as I find myself not having any emotion or feeling of loss. Crazy, huh.
01 March 2010
turn that frown upside down
Considering my ego was badly bruised with Bolt's no-show move, today's many random men checking me out helped immensely in patching me up. This morning on the Starbuck's run while inside the coffee mega-land confines, not three but four men eyeballed me big time. Super Dad was quite impressed that I counted up the same number as he did. Getting into the elevator this afternoon, a man from the adjoining suite dive-bombed in between the closing doors for an opportunity to chat me up. Shock and awe, indeed.
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