13 February 2017

equals disappointment

Work has been less than stellar. I am tired of the unnecessary upheaval. As a result, work and coping with work stress, also known as going to a lot of kickboxing and Pilates. At least I can side plank like nobody's business now. 

I hadn't given any time to the fact that Valentine's Day was looming. Until I got home from work tonight. There was a bouquet of flowers waiting for me on the kitchen counter. As I got closer, I saw a card as well. It was from my parents. 

Before I sound like a monster for how it made me feel, it was nice of them do to leave those items for me. However, it really drove home the fact that I continue to be alone. The last time I remember celebrating this Hallmark holiday was fourteen years ago. Yes, I had to travel down memory lane to do some math there. 

That number was much larger than anticipated. Compound that with the fact I am 42. Even though I made it through calculus, math was never really my subject. Cue the pity party. 

Between my job and Tour Director's busy season, we haven't connected as much, which has added to my pity party. Emphasized my aloneness here. I have been perfectly content in my aloneness for quite some time, but now with Tour Director on the scene, my aloneness is a real thing, palpable.

This is simply one more thing I have to work through. One more lesson to learn. Another street I must walk down on the road to Mr. Right.