30 June 2008


I had never been to a book reading/signing before. However, en route to the weekend debauchery, I got an invite from a pal to attend the Moose signing on Sunday. I eagerly agreed as I have read Stephanie Klein's blog for awhile and thought it would be interesting to her alive and in person.

I am assuming most attended her earlier Austin kickoff signing because the Barnes and Noble was relatively empty. With the low turnout, I felt badly for her. There wasn't a soul in the first three rows, so we sat up front and center.

I was a wee bit surprised at her heritage as she is 1/4 Puerto Rican. Somehow strangely it made me feel better as I am a blue eyed 1/2 Puerto Rican who receives odd looks when people learn of my background. She did have a fabulous blowout though - I wish my locks could be so straight in the same humidity!

While I have no desire to read a book about adolescent fat camp, I certainly did resonate with Stephanie's statement that she has learned to look at her body as a vehicle as opposed to her body defining who she is.

It was fun to actually see her... also catching a glimpse of her much talked about twins in their stroller, and being hypnotised by the huge rock of an engagement ring that dwells on her left hand.

26 June 2008

a different kind of meme

I am sure you have that friend too.

The 'it's-all-about-me' friend.

Otherwise known as the selfish friend.

The friend who only calls you when she needs something.

The friend who lost the title of friend long ago.

Yeah, that one.

Mine reared her head recently. Because MeMe needed something from me. again. Shocking, right?

MeMe and I became friends many moons ago because we were trapped together for an extended period of time. I was young and just starting out and MeMe was a mentor of sorts. I was simply thrilled to have a female friend. MeMe liked the fact that I drank wine, had a good sense of direction and wasn't afraid to go anywhere. Poor MeMe gets lost when she leaves her town, let alone go gallivanting throughout the country with only a crappy rental car map. I was her savior in that I was her chauffeur and advisor/tour guide for our many adventures.

However, along the way the fun times turned sour when MeMe started placing demands on me that were above and beyond the scope of our friendship. An example is demanding I get on a plane to come to an event without a formal invitation and no more than two days notice. And I was expected to drop everything a come because MeMe summoned.

Our lives drifted away and then the pattern really began to emerge with her contacting me solely when she required something - information and usually some sort of favor. MeMe was not happy that I got married. She also grew to be jealous of our age difference as I was still young while the signs of aging began to creep up on her and she was no longer the prettier of us nor the thinnest.

After my divorce, she tried to suck me back in. I went along with it for awhile in hopes that she had changed. Alas, she hadn't. What was fun when I was in my 20s no longer held any thrill for me in my 30s.

The other day when she contacted me, I came so close to telling her that I am tired of our 'friendship' being one of where she only knows me when she wants something. But then I decided against it. MeMe would not understand, would not see it. The only that matters is I see it, I realize it and I can and do chose not to participate in it any longer. I see that this friendship officially riding off into the sunset.

25 June 2008

Work and Play

Work has been so incredibly draining. It feels like I never leave this place. I constantly remind myself that this is what it takes to make it to the next level - that I have busted my bum and deserve this opportunity - but it does come with a price. I have to earn it. Plain. And. Simple. But that will not stop me from complaining!

So pulling my hair out at work is directly proportional to less writing opportunities. I have all these wonderful thoughts in my head that want to be formulated onto the screen.

In other snappy funness, I am so looking forward to this weekend! It is Edina's birthday and a gaggle of us girls are going away for the weekend. Sun, Fun, and Vodka! Not in that particular order... will more likely resemble Vodka! Vodka! Fun! Vodka! Sun! Vodka! Vodka! VodkA! Fun! Vodka!

The pups are even getting their own little private holiday too. Booked them at a doggie day care hotel for the weekend. They have been absolute troopers with the move to The Capitol of Bugs, so I am treating them too.

I can't stand the wait for Friday. Of course, there will be obsessive FURminatoring until then!

22 June 2008

it has arrived

the FURminator arrived on Saturday! It is amazing! Must go torture the doxie with it... just like Depeche Mode sang, I just can't get enough!!

Alexander and The Cow

Imagine my excitement today when the phone rang while I was en route to the grocery store and I saw it was him.

I met him the summer of 1992. I was 17 years old, entering my senior year. He was 16, soon-to-be a junior. We were thrown together on a bus trip from Colorado to New York. A handful of juniors and seniors - all of us from the state of Colorado.

However, there were only three of us from the Big Mile High City. Most were from rural small towns. He was one of the small towners; kids who led a more country-style of life. Kids who slung insults of a farm life slant. One of the 'city girls' (I use this term loosely here... the more appropriate term would be white trash, but that word was not in my lexicon at the time) was described as the Purple Holstein. You see, she was a larger girl and had purchase a purple and white tie dyed Hard Rock Cafe knockoff short set in Washington D.C.; the nickname came immediately when the purple and white short set was first worn and subsequently became her favorite outfit on our trip. Any one of the rural kids would squeal 'Purple Holstein' and there would be an uproar of laughter from the group. I would laugh along because I figured it had to be about the outfit because as a true girl of perfectly manicured suburbia, I had no clue what a Holstein actually was.

Our time in Washington D.C. is when I have my first vivid memories of Alexander and I forging what would become our invincible friendship. Alexander has been mentioned here before, my bestest gay friend ever. We were at Union Station and we decided to have a bit of sushi at the food court. I was had eaten sushi before and was the ring leader in the order as Alexander had an adventurous spirit like my own and wanted to expand his culinary tastes. I pointed out that the wasabi was hot. That would lead to Alexander keeping the remaining wasabi, telling one of the big, bully-esque cow kids the green stuff was yummy 'so put a whole bunch in your mouth' in front of the group, only to watch the kid turn red with the flaming sensation known only as wasabi.

As the Purple Holstein joke progressed and I remained in the dark, I asked Alexander while we were on the bus, what was it about the joke that caused such laughter to erupt with two little words. Shock and dismay arose as Alexander stated, "You don't know what a Holstein is?" He then had to share with those around us that I was not privy to the knowledge of this mysterious Holstein thing. He imparted that a Holstein is in fact a cow... yes, I am a city girl! Cows were typically known to me in technical terms such as hamburgers and steaks. I never spent my precious teenage time pondering the different types of cows before they were steak-on-my-plate. Cows are cows are cows.

From that moment forward I could wholeheartedly giggle with the true knowledge of what exactly the Purple Holstein was. I do believe the poor girl was completely oblivious the entire time - thank goodness.

But all these years later, Alexander and I are still bestest friends. He is one of the very few people I can be completely candid with about anything and everything. I hold nothing back from him and he has often expressed the same of me.

Seventeen year ago, a choice to take an exam and give a five minute speech to a bunch of old folks, turned into a bus trip across the country with a handful of kids. Those two weeks gave me one of my very bestest friends, gay or otherwise.

19 June 2008

Awaiting Delivery

Hair is obviously at the forefront of my mind right now because I am so blooming excited to receive this little gadget in the post!

ESC brought this potentially life saving item to my attention in this post. If it works on Sadie, enough said.

It shipped last night and is scheduled to arrive on 6/25. How ever shall I make to Wednesday?! I truly hope this helps my chubby little dox and her fur problem. You see, as she is a wire-haired dox, her wire fur necessitates a clipping by a professional with an industrial clipper. This often leads to really bad haircuts for the poor thing. Hair cuts so terrible in fact that she honestly does hide for several days afterward because she knows she was butchered. I can no longer live with a doxie - already close to the ground - dragging her belly on the floor wishing to hell that she could disappear into the tile after mommy dearest takes her to "the spa."

But never fear, after her first and last $45 Texas-style butchering, I happily ponied up the 30 bucks to try this device. I mean, honestly, it could not get any worse. Fingers crossed/holding thumbs!

18 June 2008

It has been a quiet few days here at the ranch. No scantily clad adventures to report. Having returned to the blazing oven set on broil - otherwise known as Texas - my body is re-acclimating from my brief stint in the cool mountain air.

My hair is experiencing the toughest adjustment. Away from the dry air and plunged deep into humidity. You see, I am blessed with a thicket of naturally curly hair. Not the nice, cutesy curls or waves - no, I have the naturally curly hair that borders on afro on most occasions. Amen for the straightening iron ! It has added years to my life.

But even the straightening iron cannot assist me to win the battle completely. The humidity here is just too much. So even though I can get my hair straight and looking good before I leave for the office, once I open the garage door to depart my temperature controlled cocoon, it is over. The humidity pounces and the afro rears its ugly head on what - just moments ago - was straight hair.

Monday was dismal - I wanted to cry getting off the elevator - yes, I looked like a poodle walking on two legs. Obviously the extremes between Mile High air and Austin sauna caused my hair to go into extreme poodle shock. Yesterday was a tad better, or at least I rationalized that it was. Today my hair follicles are only in mild revolt against the straightening work I did this morning.

Of course, I have to leave the stability of my office in a little while, which means I am thrust back into the moist air that wrecks havoc on my tresses. Oh perfect hair product that makes this poodle-licious problem disappear - oh where, oh where are you?!?!

13 June 2008

amuck, amuck, amuck

so last night was one of cheap rum drinking that led to severe intoxication.

oh my!!

so much so that i ended up with a very, very vague memory of running to the car dressed only in my thong looking for god-knows what. only catch is that my scantily clad adventure down the drive way was spotted by my neighbors. keep in mind that for most of today, i thought naked at the car was a dream. found out it was reality when my neighbors brought up seeing my naked body at dinner. desire to die much?

worst part is when asked the ways of how the great streaking even occurred, i did not have an answer - that part of memory is too too fuzzy.

however, it did spark the great-get-into-the-hot-tub-naked-night at my neighbors'.

a weird night to complete a weird day. today was my appointment with the medium. weird day indeed. i think it will take me a bit of time to process the medium's words. but much like palm woman's words - it is The Southern Gentleman and I - - 2 to 3 children - - I move to be with The Southern Gentleman and lots of goodness is coming....

while i want it now - 2009 is the big year. so only 6 more months of my constant complaining!!!

drunk girl - out! xoxo

11 June 2008


I feel overwhelmed... wishing that there were at least two of me. Fiona's post keeps whirling round in my mind... as I am identifying with it to the nth degree.

Too much to do. Not enough time. Yada, yada, yada. As a chick who thrives on stress, even now I have finally found my limits. Limits I never thought I had. Never knew I had. Finding myself dreaming of the day when I no longer have to do this. When I can be working side-by-side with The Southern Gentleman.

Reason #342 that I cannot wait for The Southern Gentleman to take the leap to the next level. now.

10 June 2008

Living in Oblivion

The bulk of the time, I tend to be fairly oblivious to men checking me out or coming on to me. My spidey sense in that particular arena is a little off. I only pick up on it if a man is very straightforward and very clear. Subtlety - not so much.

Case in point, The Southern Gentleman. Now here is a man who has been subtle over the past 100 years we've known each other. What man subjects himself to aerobics class two nights a week with me? Ensured we had dinner together one night a week? Took projects in my home city whenever the opportunity presented itself? Always called. Drunk dialed even. Yes, that would be my beloved. He did all these wonderful things over the years and only in the past few months did the light bulb come on in my little head that clearly boomed "dummy, any man who, by his own suggestion, willingly goes to aerobics class with you must really dig you!" Yes, it took me seven years to figure that one out.

So now you comprehend the level of Patsy is completely oblivious where male subtlety is concerned. Which leads me to today. My coworker has a crush on me. Again, I was utterly oblivious until another female coworker pointed it out and even then it took months for me to actually notice her observation was correct. A few months ago, coworker and I went out to dinner - which is totally usual for my workplace - and he insisted on paying for everything. Then was further insistent we go downtown for cocktails. Again he was adamant that he pay for everything. No bells going off inside my dimly lit brain cavity as laughing and joking over the drinks are the norm. Luckily there was a band playing loudly. There was a band groupie chick flirting mightily with a man next to us. I make some comment about it. Coworker says something and then starts to direct a comment at me but stops. He did not have to get two words into the sentence when the alarm finally went off - he was going to tell me that he digs me. Music, bartenders and him deciding that it would be TMI saved the night.

Coworker is in town this week. This morning he suggested we meet for dinner. I am ensuring boundaries are in place and already set that stage by stating I only had time for dinner, no late nights.

08 June 2008

weekend wrap-up

I have done more yard work here than I have done in my entire lifetime. I am no gardener. I do not enjoy it. So far my only success has been getting bitten by the plethora of insects dwelling here. I am so over the bugs.

This was not a lazy sleep in weekend. Nope, I had my arse up each morning. Saturday morning it was up and moving to go on a massive walk. Yes, got my bum up to walk it off. I am so ready for the last remnants of fat that love my ass to be gone - bum fat, you are banished I say!

For walking a million miles, I was rewarded with a phone call from The Southern Gentleman. Oh happy day! How I do love hearing his voice... We caught up about his last business adventure in Sin City. He still has our holiday together on his radar for him to plan. I continued to throw major hints whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Did not expect to go out last night; however, in Austin things happen and I ended up out and about on the town last night. Had fun doing a bit of barhopping.

Sunday was filled with getting up to get the dogs' shot in the grocery store parking lot. A fabulous seafood lunch followed by shopping. Oh my shopping here is pure evil. Plus my taste has knocked it up a notch. So even though most of my purchases are practically free, I have upped the ante a bit. Oh well, in this place at least I can wear it and enjoy it.

However, there have been naps involved. Naps are so good. In fact I am ready for yet another...

06 June 2008

shopping, my silver lining

It is raining and cloudy here today. Amazing how those gray clouds can gray my attitude. I just want to be in bed with the pups. To do nothing. Take a nap.

What I need is a cup of coffee to jump start me. However, that would mean walking across the street to obtain the life breathing liquid and in the rain that is so not going to happen today. Instead I consumed three lovely cookies. I happily ate all three with the belief that combined they have as many calories as my cup of black coffee.

Yesterday I knocked off a bit early and went shopping. Found bargains. There is no better way to get my blood pumping than to dangle 75% off in front of me. So in weather consisting of a heat index of 100 degrees complete with work clothing on, including high heels, I walked the fabulous miles of entertainment know as the outlet.

Because my feet were screaming, I had to stick to only necessities - underthings, purses, and clothing - turning my back on all varieties of housewares that sing to my soul. I still feel rather victorious as I got knickers priced practically free and a great name purse and wallet (each at 80% off).

I am ruined for life. This town is a cornucopia of shopping delights.

What is your guilty pleasure silver lining?

05 June 2008

Jetting home from Cali, I had this strong feeling, knowing that my days down here in Austin are numbered. I will not be here forever. My life is evolving and changing, making it imperative that I enjoy myself thoroughly. The vibe of this place is fabulous. The outing options - marviepoo. But my friends, partners-in-crime are truly what makes this place so magical.

Most of the winter and spring, I wasn't out and about with reckless abandon. Having the pups here has curtailed my nights out to some extent. However, with this strong compelling feeling of the clock ticking, I have decided that the dogs must suck it up a bit in order for mommy to have more fun.

Before I know it, my life will change dramatically. While it is a change I am eagerly looking forward to (and cannot wait for him to be direct about it already), I truly need to focus on my now. My priority is soaking up the wonderful life I have built here rather than dreaming about the step.

04 June 2008

meme hijacking

Compliments of whiskeymarie....

Ten years ago, what were you doing?

Finishing up my MBA. Ready, oh so ready to be done with school and the pompous arses that I was stuck with on a daily basis. I took 21 credits during summer session because I wanted the fcuk out of there. Plus the bill is mighty expensive when attending a private school. During this time, I was also working part-time. My life had become rather regimented but it had to as I had millions of pages to read and as many silly papers to write. And then the dreaded group projects that seemed to be the crowning glory of each class. I hated, no - despised these projects. Scooping out my eyes with a red hot poker was a significantly more appealing prospect than these little group love-ins I was continually subjected to. But at the end of the day, I can place MBA after my name if I so choose. Besides when I initially got hired, the damn piece of paper is just now paying off again.

Five Things on Today's "To Do" List...

  1. Make it out of work alive
  2. Make it out of the office at a decent time (boss man is gone, so damn well better happen!)
  3. Purchase stamps
  4. Wash towels
  5. Obsess about The Southern Gentleman

If I were a Billionaire, I would...

  1. Throw my work badge in a mailbox sending it back to the mothership as my resignation
  2. Have my own jet to enable jetsetting to places like the south of France to hobnob with Brangelina
  3. Buy The Southern Gentleman
  4. Hire a chef and personal trainer just like Oprah
  5. Get the dogs their own home and servants

Three Bad Habits I Have...

  1. Not stopping after one jaeger bomb... they are seriously just like lays potato chips
  2. Believing the dog poo in the backyard is simply a figment of my imagination, therefore taking care of itself
  3. Inability to say no

Five Places I've Lived

  1. Texas
  2. Colorado
  3. San Fran
  4. North Carolina
  5. Very brief stint in Iowa

Five Jobs I've Had

  1. Candy girl - retail sales
  2. Swimming pool cashier
  3. Beer girl at athletic events
  4. Science lab geek girl
  5. Department store associate drone
Three things I wish I could do today, but can’t:

1. Lay in bed with the doggies
2. Lose 7 pounds
3. See The Southern Gentleman

01 June 2008

dream a little dream

Friday night has now turned into Saturday morning. 1:30 AM. I should be asleep. I should call him and tell him. Everything. There are many shoulds looming. But none of those matter right now. Because right now I am truly blissfully happy. Every inch. Every cell. Every molecule. Every atom. Pure. Complete. Total happiness.

Happiness is not a mask that I don when out in the world. No. It is deep within me and radiates at all times. I can feel it in my heart. It is palpable. It is alive.

My life is nothing short of amazing. Dreams do come true. And I now realize those dreams have to come true so that I can dream bigger dreams that will one day soon come true as well. The flower continues blooming.

Tonight I realized one of my long held dreams. Last week in Cali I touched several dreams. I smelled roses. Felt the surf on my toes. My dreams. They are all coming true. And for that I am beyond thankful and grateful.

I am one lucky girl.