17 October 2010


Cherry left today. She has been my house guest for a week and a half. I miss her already and Cherry has only been out of my presence since 1 PM. Sometimes, there is simply that 'click' between friends; regardless of how long our last conversation has been, we simply pick up like it hasn't been more than a day since we last spoke. I love friendships like that.

12 October 2010

warning: october ice storm

A silly little drunk text on Saturday evening led to Super Dad sending me a whopper of a nasty text on Sunday afternoon. A nasty text that cut through me. Ah! The infinite power of words.

I haven't spoken to him since; however, I decided to overlook my stubborn scorpio ways and place a call to Super Dad a few minutes ago.

His voice. The lightness, the happiness was gone. He only asked a few questions about work and quickly ended the call.

His voice is still ringing through my mind. It was so completely different, so completely dead.

I find myself much sadder than I anticipated I would be at this very moment.

I knew Super Dad could be cold but I honestly thought he would never show me the full wrath of his ice storm.

While I may be strong on the outside, I truly am a very sensitive person. I am extraordinarily protective of who and what I let in. I don't know what hurts worse - the written words or the cold tone.

I wish there was some way I could tie this up with a pretty little bow, singing that the sun will come out tomorrow, and onward ho! And, yes, the warm Texas sun will be in full force tomorrow and the day after that too. I simply wish that I could face the world with such perennial optimism again, but I feel myself growing jaded and I don't want to be.

05 October 2010

love, hate, and the real english patient

Holiday preparation is in full swing here. I have been eating up history in the form of books, documentaries, and films to educate myself about the destination. Saturday evening's education was a critically acclaimed film, The English Patient.

Yes, I live in a bubble because prior to Saturday night, I had never seen the film. Once I started university, my movie watching plummeted and really never recovered from the fall. I watched intently for both storyline and locations; feeling the swell of excitement as the realization struck that yes, I will be there and maybe Ralph Fiennes will be waiting in the Sahara Desert to take me away from this dreary place. I'd even be happy for Colin Firth or Naveen Andrews to ride up on a camel with an outstretched hand to whisk me away. 

The line that struck a chord with me was when Count Laszlo de Almasy asked Katharine Clifton, "What do you love.... say everything". She answered with a myriad of loved objects. I have found that question bopping around in my head since. What do I love?

  • I love my hounds - seeing the brightness in their eyes, the delightful smile emanating from their entire beings.
  • I love the spark of happiness that dances across the eyes of someone (friend, lover, or acquaintance) I am meeting. To see the moment of genuine happiness is bliss.
  • Hearing a man say my name. Bonus points for an accent - quite frankly, any accent.
  • I love roller coasters and potato chips.
  • I love vodka, coffee, salsa, a good pair of shoes, and fabulously unusual jewelry.
  • That I am comfortable with my own style and love expressing it. I have always followed my own drummer and the bravery to be true to myself.
  • I can take care of myself; the double edged sword of self-reliance.
  • Flowers blooming in the garden.
  • Being surrounded by the various little reminders of holidays.
  • I love the airport and the giddy feeling that anything is possible and within reach when a boarding pass is in my hand.
  • I love that I am willing to try new things, go places, and experience the many facets of this wonderful life.

Almasy then inquired, "What do you hate most?"

  • Jealousy. Jealousy and the negative things it makes people do. I absolutely hate jealousy.

Now, it's your turn. What do you love? Say everything.