12 October 2010

warning: october ice storm

A silly little drunk text on Saturday evening led to Super Dad sending me a whopper of a nasty text on Sunday afternoon. A nasty text that cut through me. Ah! The infinite power of words.

I haven't spoken to him since; however, I decided to overlook my stubborn scorpio ways and place a call to Super Dad a few minutes ago.

His voice. The lightness, the happiness was gone. He only asked a few questions about work and quickly ended the call.

His voice is still ringing through my mind. It was so completely different, so completely dead.

I find myself much sadder than I anticipated I would be at this very moment.

I knew Super Dad could be cold but I honestly thought he would never show me the full wrath of his ice storm.

While I may be strong on the outside, I truly am a very sensitive person. I am extraordinarily protective of who and what I let in. I don't know what hurts worse - the written words or the cold tone.

I wish there was some way I could tie this up with a pretty little bow, singing that the sun will come out tomorrow, and onward ho! And, yes, the warm Texas sun will be in full force tomorrow and the day after that too. I simply wish that I could face the world with such perennial optimism again, but I feel myself growing jaded and I don't want to be.

3 comments:

Charlene said...

It is my experience that when you see someone you care about being cold to someone they feel justified in being that way to, they will eventually be that way with you. Which means you shouldn't take it personally, though it sure doesn't feel impersonal at the time.

jennerilizations said...

Well, you know I find all my answers in the bottom of a cocktails glass so I am no help here. Just glad that I know you will come out on the other side of this with your fabulous flair.

Rachel Mae said...

I have had the painful realization that some family members are just plan cold, manipulative and uncaring. It hurts beyond belief when someone you love and admire is one of those people. I am hoping that Dad snaps out of it. Every little girl needs her Daddy but at the same time, we need our sanity. Good luck to you, love, with this one. I understand and feel your pain. I just lost my brother due to my Aunts jealousy and lies.