29 March 2012

put your right foot in

Here's hoping that today's note from the universe goes down as some excellent foreshadowing....

It's been so long, Pats, I'm quite sure you've forgotten our secret handshake, haven't you?


How about our code for saying, "I love you"?


Then I doubt you'll recall my solemn promise to let you know once you began approaching exactly the right time and exactly the right place, with enough life lessons under your belt to enable you to finally stop struggling, start soaring, and begin living the life of your wildest dreams?

Well, if not, the following might not make much sense:

"You're getting hot! Steaming hot! Really HOT!! Ouch, you're so hot! Smoking, red-hot-chili-pepper, volcano, extremely, DOUBLE-HOT! HOT! HOT! NOW, Pats, NOW-W-W-W-W-W-W!"

I $l%o^v1e you,
    The Universe

28 March 2012

question and answer

Today I made it to the ranch before 7:30 AM. Quite a feat as I have been working from home in the mornings to avoid participating in rush hour traffic. Also, getting up in the dark is not one of my favorite activities. No, I am not a morning person. 

Tomorrow I have yet another interview with the prospective nouveau company. This will be interview nombre trios. While there is goodness swirling around with my name, I certainly hope this will be the final interview. I want the offer to be made, negotiated, and finalized. 

Change is scary. Leaving the ranch after fifteen years is going to be difficult. But by the same token, I will be going to a pond a fourth of the size of the ranch. A smaller pond where I can shine bigger and brighter. I am banking on it being a land of greater opportunity. 

I have learned so much over my tenure at the ranch. I am ready to leave the nest and finally soar.

26 March 2012


Tonight was the first episode for Oprah's new season of Lifeclass.

After watching the episode, realizations ring through Stepford tonight. Namely, the getting stuck in your story portion of the program. I saw myself when Iyanla spoke to a man about being stuck in his story. As she described the root of the problem, my sirens went off. The current story I am addicted to is Lola's death. Every painful inch from the moment Lola broke her leg until Lola drew her last breath. Lola's sickness, my care taking, the surrealism of the whole situation has become my story and I am addicted to it. Addicted to reliving the heart break, the sorrow, the triumphs, the strength, the sadness, the extremeness of it all.

I need to refocus the situation. But in the meantime, here in baby steps world, I just need to recognize and acknowledge my addiction to Lola's story. From there forward movement to the truth phase of this new perspective.

18 March 2012

don't cry for me, argentina

Oh kids! So much is going on and I am mentally/emotionally fried. I am so tired of living in limbo in EVERY aspect of my life.

My living situation, my physical location, my job, they are all in flux without any definitive answers yet. However, time keeps on moving forward. Hopefully next month, there will be more answers than questions.

Closing down two lives, starting a new one. It is such a tiring business being surrounded and breathing nothing but uncertainty.

Need to get back to preparing Stepford for house guests. Even in Stepford's final days, guests are pouring in. I am certainly looking forward to the arrival of much needed guests.