28 August 2009

past. present.

Fb is a splendid thing (sarcasm runs deep!) - it has it's ups and it's downs. When some people find you from the distant cobwebs of space and time, it is delightful, others you wish would just stay repressed in the dark recesses of yesterday. Clearly, I have a love-hate relationship with fb.

Random co-workers have found me there - bad. very bad. Then yesterday an acquaintance from my undergrad days emerged onto the radar screen. I was delighted to hear from her. However, she mentioned Spoofy. A name I'd long forgotten; as in my undergrad boyfriend-like character.

Then I start to wonder because my inquisitive mind is always on overdrive and before I know it, google once again has the keys to the kingdom of information. I really should have been a detective. There was a bit of information out there, including a small profile photo of him.

Seeing his photo threw me for a loop. It was about this time of year, 13 years ago that we went our separate ways. Spoofy looked exactly as I remembered him. Much to my surprise, my thinking went directly to how different my life would be if we'd have stayed together. all these years later. I vividly remember laying on the carpeting of the rental house looking through the book of grad schools, dreaming of the future. It was Christmastime and Spoof has just given me my prezzie, Victoria Secret bath stuff. The possibilities were endless, laying directly in front of me contained in the pages of his book.

I was amazed that here, today, I felt that twinge when thinking of him, seeing him. Maybe I'll never forget my first love. At least through all the ups and downs, I remember the good parts of my days with The Spoof (which is something I don't have from The Leech or Montana Man). I still have the antique lab stools he got me. I remember when he called me with a surprise, that would later be revealed as the first of four stools. We had so much fun.

The gravity defying daiquiris. Vinyl clothing. Late night french fries. Amazing pashes. My 21st birthday. Physics class. All these memories flooding my present. A time when life was carefree. I hadn't been hurt and disappointed yet. My heart was open.

Maybe that's why these memories are so overwhelming.

24 August 2009

diving head first

Thursday evening I met my first ATX on-line dating man.

I did require not one, but two pep talks in order to make it to the bar. I tried like hell to grab a drink somewhere else, anywhere else before to calm me because I hate this part. Of course, Blondie and Pat Benetar were having a show downtown, which led to parking being an absolute nightmare and I never did get my pre-meeting chillout cocktail.

I arrived earlier than our appointed hour and proceeded to have a glass of champagne. I was wearing my black and white Calvin Klein modern take on the classic June Cleaver dress. My feet were tired from a week filled with stilettos, but I had chosen moderate heels that morning after much debate and inner turmoil. Little did I know, I really should have placed the kitten heels on my feet that morning. (foreshadowing! foreshadowing!)

So The Computer Geek came up to me at the bar. I was delighted that he did indeed resemble his photos. It was a bit of a rocky start as I hate that whole talking-to-a-person-you-barely-know thing and all the while I am being suspect since people aren't always truthful. The Computer Geek and I shared a bottle of wine and at some point the conversation flowed and before I knew it, time flew and it was late. I ran to the loo. I wasn't tipsy, simply tired and beginning to dread being up at dawn the next morning. Finished the bit of wine that was lingering in my glass. The Computer Geek picked up the check. He was digging me. We got up off the high bar chairs, then somehow I did not put my weight correctly on my right foot and before I know it, I am going down.

Down, down, down as in falling to the floor. I wanted to die. The Computer Geek was super nice and collected me up off the floor including my purse. I had to catch my breath. The bartender informed me that I executed my free-fall very gracefully. Meanwhile, I wanted to die. I thought I could walk on it but a few steps out of the bar door and I had to sit down on a bench. The Computer Geek was very nice, even rubbed my little ankle.

When I felt brave enough, I decided it was time to get this show back on the road. Stood up testing my stability. Then this is where the evening turned. The Computer Geek asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, thinking a small peck since I was injured, right. No, it turned into full-on makeout. Not terribly thrilled with that. Then as we continued walking toward our vehicles, he made a comment that I was a good kisser and he was sure I was good in bed too. That was when the antenna came up. When we went off in our separate ways, he offered to take me to my car but I declined. He also said he wanted to see me again.

Everything was good until that last part where the 'good in bed' comment came hurling out into the night air. Is it worth establishing boundaries? Or let this encounter die a quick and painless death? Of course, Montana Man was curious and when I told him about the comment, he stated the guy was tipsy (as he did have a vodka martini after the wine) and his filter wasn't fully operational, that I should cut him some slack and no kissing next time. I don't know if it is worth it or not. What do you think?

09 August 2009

follies of a hypocrite

Oh my!

Oh My!

This whole Internet dating thing is so terribly depressing.

Terribly. Terribly.

Thinking life on my own with the B.O.B. may be my only option.

Paralyzed men!

06 August 2009

a hypocrite lives here

Yes, this week, I crossed the threshold into the land of the hypocrite.

After swearing off online dating compliments of the debacle otherwise known as Montana Man, I broke down and gave in on Tuesday. Of course, this time I am armed with my highly critical ideals (the list) and knowledge of the traps such as old photographs. Hence, I am very suspect of any and all potential gentleman callers.

Three days into this fun little experiment, I am already disheartened as the frogs have multiplied exponentially. However, I promised to give this experiment one month. Seeing as I have not been on a real date since January 2008, I will remain true to my word.

Due my position as hypocrite, only you, my little adventurers, will know of this experiment. Do fasten your seatbelts for this one!