28 August 2009

past. present.

Fb is a splendid thing (sarcasm runs deep!) - it has it's ups and it's downs. When some people find you from the distant cobwebs of space and time, it is delightful, others you wish would just stay repressed in the dark recesses of yesterday. Clearly, I have a love-hate relationship with fb.

Random co-workers have found me there - bad. very bad. Then yesterday an acquaintance from my undergrad days emerged onto the radar screen. I was delighted to hear from her. However, she mentioned Spoofy. A name I'd long forgotten; as in my undergrad boyfriend-like character.

Then I start to wonder because my inquisitive mind is always on overdrive and before I know it, google once again has the keys to the kingdom of information. I really should have been a detective. There was a bit of information out there, including a small profile photo of him.

Seeing his photo threw me for a loop. It was about this time of year, 13 years ago that we went our separate ways. Spoofy looked exactly as I remembered him. Much to my surprise, my thinking went directly to how different my life would be if we'd have stayed together. all these years later. I vividly remember laying on the carpeting of the rental house looking through the book of grad schools, dreaming of the future. It was Christmastime and Spoof has just given me my prezzie, Victoria Secret bath stuff. The possibilities were endless, laying directly in front of me contained in the pages of his book.

I was amazed that here, today, I felt that twinge when thinking of him, seeing him. Maybe I'll never forget my first love. At least through all the ups and downs, I remember the good parts of my days with The Spoof (which is something I don't have from The Leech or Montana Man). I still have the antique lab stools he got me. I remember when he called me with a surprise, that would later be revealed as the first of four stools. We had so much fun.

The gravity defying daiquiris. Vinyl clothing. Late night french fries. Amazing pashes. My 21st birthday. Physics class. All these memories flooding my present. A time when life was carefree. I hadn't been hurt and disappointed yet. My heart was open.

Maybe that's why these memories are so overwhelming.

1 comment:

kimba said...

I hear you sister.. [can you post a pic of those stools? intrigued]

Last year I was face to face across a semi crowded bar with a lover from University.. I had dumped him, seems he still bore a grudge.. he remembered bits of my life back then that I had forgotten [like my plans to get a unicorn tattoo on my arse!]

It was a strange reunion. Uncomfortable. I was waiting for the payback from the break-up so long ago. We text and talk occasionally.. but won't ever be friends I don't think. Too much time and change has occurred..