26 June 2008

a different kind of meme

I am sure you have that friend too.

The 'it's-all-about-me' friend.

Otherwise known as the selfish friend.

The friend who only calls you when she needs something.

The friend who lost the title of friend long ago.

Yeah, that one.

Mine reared her head recently. Because MeMe needed something from me. again. Shocking, right?

MeMe and I became friends many moons ago because we were trapped together for an extended period of time. I was young and just starting out and MeMe was a mentor of sorts. I was simply thrilled to have a female friend. MeMe liked the fact that I drank wine, had a good sense of direction and wasn't afraid to go anywhere. Poor MeMe gets lost when she leaves her town, let alone go gallivanting throughout the country with only a crappy rental car map. I was her savior in that I was her chauffeur and advisor/tour guide for our many adventures.

However, along the way the fun times turned sour when MeMe started placing demands on me that were above and beyond the scope of our friendship. An example is demanding I get on a plane to come to an event without a formal invitation and no more than two days notice. And I was expected to drop everything a come because MeMe summoned.

Our lives drifted away and then the pattern really began to emerge with her contacting me solely when she required something - information and usually some sort of favor. MeMe was not happy that I got married. She also grew to be jealous of our age difference as I was still young while the signs of aging began to creep up on her and she was no longer the prettier of us nor the thinnest.

After my divorce, she tried to suck me back in. I went along with it for awhile in hopes that she had changed. Alas, she hadn't. What was fun when I was in my 20s no longer held any thrill for me in my 30s.

The other day when she contacted me, I came so close to telling her that I am tired of our 'friendship' being one of where she only knows me when she wants something. But then I decided against it. MeMe would not understand, would not see it. The only that matters is I see it, I realize it and I can and do chose not to participate in it any longer. I see that this friendship officially riding off into the sunset.


Kate said...

I agree, she'll never know the depths of her selfish ways. Mine tried to kill herself not that long ago, and was actually enraged that I decided to move out. Ack. Not pretty.

Whiskeymarie said...

I find it is best to just let those ones die a gradual death rather than formally "ending it".
I have one of these in my life now marginally & not by choice (family-ish member)- I've learned to not play into their narcissism and neediness and hold my own.
So far, it seems to be working.