11 March 2010

of death and dying

This week I am broadcasting live from the frozen tundra. I do not miss it here. Life in this cow town is dull; it is life on a hamster wheel, which is a fate worse than death to this girl.

Speaking of death and dying, that is the entire reason I winged my way back here at the spur of the moment last Saturday. My mother's 90+ year old mother started hospice care a few weeks ago and upon enduring a less-than-fun phone call with my mother filled with phrases like "don't judge me" and "you have no idea what it's like here', I decided it was time to get my behind on an airplane.

A little more than 24 hours after my arrival, the old lady was dead. I like to think I released her as clearly my mother was selfishly holding on to her for dear life. I am all about quality as opposed to quantity and quality was definitely non-existent.

My grandmother and I never really had a relationship. She was disinterested in me. It was all about her and only her. When Helen and The Queen died, I cried and cried; I felt deep sense of loss and great sadness - even today. However, with my grandmother, it is sadly quite different as I find myself not having any emotion or feeling of loss. Crazy, huh.

1 comment:

Fiona said...

We mourn those who touch our lives, not those whose only connection is a blood tie.

Get yourself back to the warmth Patsy :)