26 November 2012

when you're having fun


That is the only way I can describe the month of November. Feels like only yesterday it was Halloween and I was anticipating my birthday with great joy... and poof! now the month is virtually over. 

I spent my birthday in Austin surrounded by my wonderful friends. It was truly special. You see, the past three years I haven't celebrated my birthday. Two and three years ago, I was abroad in some exotic land for my birthday. Last year, Lulu was fighting bravely against cancer, so all I wanted was to spend every moment with her, my birthday forgotten because my love for Lulu was so greater. And so to get off the plane and head directly to a group of people who love me for who I am (flaws and all) made my 38th birthday amazing.

I still look at that number, 38, not realizing it is affixed to me now. Knocking on 40's door step. Thinking back to a time when I thought 40 was "old". I certainly don't physically feel old and remind myself regularly that I just ran a half marathon. I look at how much I blossomed in Austin and feel that I am finally comfortable in my skin, so the only was I can go is up! 

I cried a lot around my birthday too. Not for myself but because my dear Lulu left this earth just six days after my birthday last year. My poor darling baby girl. I still miss her so very much. I travel back in time to those roller coaster months and I find myself in awe. If I ever doubted the existence of God, those three months taught me more about the spiritual world than I ever believed possible. 

Now I try to focus on all the wonderful memories of Lulu. To be thankful every day that I had that beautiful little hound girl in my life for over eight years. Remembering the unwavering love we shared. 

While November has moved rapidly, it has been filled with goodness and healing. 

1 comment:

Carla said...

So sorry to read about loosing your friend last year. I too lost a very close friend last year to cancer. Her pneumonia was just pneumonia in December it was cancer and she was given a good prognosis but cancer decided to move faster and she was gone by mid March. I think of her every day.
I'm glad you have your memories of Lulu that make you smile.