Day of Reckoning

I knew something was up - I could tell in her voice - the edgy tension and weird half sentences. I cannot tell you how happy I was when she called and said she'd be over after work.

So Shell shows up on my door step looking disheveled but quite sophisticated in her snazzy new shoes. The absolutely freaked out, discombobulated vibe was being emitted off of her very being with such intensity that I knew immediately why she was here.

Before I had any time to process any of this insanity, she was on my loveseat telling me the tale of the previous evening while whipping out an EPT box.

My Shell - my drinking buddy Shell - my talk forever about random nothingness Shell - my right arm Shell - my Shell - MY SHELL!!! It was hard enough to share her with her hubby but now with some little screaming fruit of their loins that will take precedence over our random debacles. Don't get me wrong - I am extremely happy for Shell but this is a MAJOR life changing event - and it changes more than the mommy and daddy's life - there are more people involved here!

We both delayed the inevitable for quite some time - the be all, end all that forever changes the universe of the lives it touches - the pee stick!

This situation definitely called for cocktails and now I bear a heavy responsibility - drinking for TWO - me AND Shell!

Shell finally peed on the all knowing stick of truth and plus signs, while I started the microwave timer because it is all about the 2 minute waiting game. So what did do - leaned up against the kitchen cabinets and quietly watched the timer while I sipped some more of the glorious cocktail concoction.

At the microwave's beckoning, I went upstairs to be the first to survey the results. We had decided that I'd be the first to view the results. The easy-to-read test results... not so easy. You would think the whole plus sign/negative sign would be fool proof, but not so for my over-thinking, over-educated mind. I had to get the instructions for clarification.

Whatever way you sliced it, diced it, or julienned, there was secretly a big blue plus sign staring me in the face. Our level of shock laced with happiness was taken to a new level... this pregnancy was the real thing.

Now this means I get to venture out into the world of Baby Shower throwing. But how can that work when the guest of honor cannot drink?! A shower is all about mimosas, isn't it?!

So after the shock subsided... ah hell, the shock is still running strong, we discussed the wildness of this all - the surge of fear but yet the happiness - if you didn't know any better, you'd think I was the one knocked up!

What did we do next? What any goofy girls would do - figure out the DUE DATE. After we scientifically determined this child will make a debut in the November 1st area, we proceeded to the Chinese birth chart. This source predicted a boy. The palm reader in January predicted a boy. So Auntie will start buying random blue baby crap at will. Who needs an ultrasound, we've got all the proof we need!

This was an intense situation because from the minute Shell hit the door, the hound dogs were absolute angels. For the Dill to be quiet, you know big shit is going down!

Shell left to make dinner for the Engineer and I retreated to my quiet universe of brandy laced diet coke and hound dogs. The shock and trauma have yet to leave the building... and the positive preggo test will remain on the countertop for posterity's sake.