31 July 2006

The Many Meanings of Trying


The past few days have been quite trying on this girl.

Some days the more I try, the less things occur as I intend.

Found a beautiful house, a marvelous home - the problem? the price. Can be afforded with two incomes but not one alone.

MM sees the glass as half full - all the money we need will magically appear in the back yard - take risks - everything is coming up green money roses!

I on the other hand like to deal in the cold hard reality of simple accounting - money in versus money out with a hearty balance of living life thrown in. Once the mortgages are paid, the basic utilities paid, I'd be left with $6 dollars to my name each month. How in the world can I buy shoes or mascara on that!

I lived very frugally in college because private school did not come cheap and my parents were not loaded. Once I got a real job and made real money, I swore to myself I would never scrimp like that again - - I went to Big Bucks University to guard against ramen noodles as a full fledged working adult. This wonderfully beautiful house would have me in ramen land.

MM was of course extremely upset that I chose not to pursue placing an offer on the home.

I was lead dog on qualifying for the house. A little deja vu that made me rather uncomfortable. I want to make smart financial decisions. That is my only concern.

This house thing will make or break us.

Maybe I will become the crazy lady with 1,639 cats.... because the Catholic Church won't allow this divorced girl to become a nun!

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