This week I learned that Karma really does exist and Karma is definitely my type of girl. When you do evil things to a person you supposedly love above all others, Karma does keep count and strikes when you least expect and in a way even my most nasty, vengeful scorpion heart could never have hoped for. Karma truly is a bitch and I am so thankful she was watching all the hell you put me through - you are finally getting yours.
This week I discovered I am the keeper of secrets. My friends tell me their secrets and I must keep these small but significant items to myself. I have found myself pondering why I get to be the trusted one with such knowledge.
This week I learned that the Harry relationship is still on an unsure path. While things seem to be better, I do not feel that he is back in the game 100-percent. We had a good Thursday and Friday. But then I am out of town again next week, so it is any one's guess.
This week I learned I am so lucky to have my girlfriend. Wednesday night was happy hour with my girlie pal was fab - we had excellent girlie chat over fab martinis. I asserted my inner passionate feminist when the female bartender was getting trashed by the arrogant male wait staff. I could not sit by and let the injustice go without saying something.
This week I learned I am a compassionate person. As I pulled into the driveway after cocktails, I got a phone call. Yes, it was Montana Man. Something sounded off in his voice. Not drunk, something else, something not quite right. After much soul searching and contemplation, I went over there to check on him. It was much worse than I could have imagined. I had to hunt for the dog. I found out the story of how he arrived at such a state. Yet another secret I must keep because he trusts me with his inner most thoughts; because he knows I completely understand.
I learned more than I could have ever imagined... once again, my girl Karma was on the scene. MM told me things I would have killed to hear months ago, pre-therapy, pre-moved on to happier place in life. Tasty tid-bits I learned, in no particular order:
- MM has had three girlfriends since he broke up with me
- Of said girlfriends, he has lost all of them because of me - no one can compare to me
- I am the only person in this world who cares about him no matter what
- Of said girlfriends, all were upset because he spoke of me - his best friend - and all wanted me out of the picture, to which he refused
- MM has always wanted to marry me, his life is with me
- According to him, we fit perfectly together in all aspects
- MM has been sad in the house all along because it was supposed to be our home
- His friends call him the 3-month wonder because he cannot have a relationship that survives beyond 3 months, but his friends all remember me as the only one to go the distance with MM
I learned that MM wants to try again. Slowly. Dating. Slowly. While I consented, I remain unsure. I do not feel the time is quite right. MM's life is falling apart and that equates to more stress. I do not want to enter the scene when stress is high.
This week I learned that I am so much stronger and my mind is clear in the face of the above confessions. For that clarity, I am thankful. Deep within the recesses of my soul, I know MM and I are entwined with some level of destiny. We both have known that. Always. With us it is always a timing issue. Now I am cognisant of the timing and will work with that conscious knowledge. I am closer to being a whole person, true to myself. MM needs to get there too on his own.
This week I learned a lot. Whew!
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