17 January 2011

be careful what you wish for

Super Dad bought his airline ticket and will be visiting me next month. We haven't seen each other since May. So you'd thinking I would be overjoyed awaiting his arrival. Oddly, though, I am rather indifferent.

I am truly surprised at my reaction, or lack of reaction at this news. Super Dad and I speak almost daily, sometimes several times daily. I have whined ad nauseum about not seeing Super Dad. So what is this disconnect?!

I am fairly certain our buddy, fear is driving my turtle-hiding-in-my-shell behavior. After all this time and all the medical drama, what is he going to look like? Is Super Dad going to be different as a result? How will I feel when I see him? What will our time together be like? Will his physical problems dominate? Am I going to be disappointed? What is the outcome going to be?

I am trying to put the questions to the back and simply be ready to see Super Dad. To enjoy our time together.

1 comment:

Fiona said...

It's a long time to be apart, physically. Relax into the moment and try not to worry. I predict that you will just feel so good to be close to each other again, and all will be well :)