an evening of unexpected fireworks

Wednesday night a few of us met up downtown at a roof top patio for cocktails and to later watch the fireworks. The group wasn't stellar but a few of my favorite people were in attendance so I was content.

As the evening wore on, we had a new arrival to the group but I really didn't pay much attention as girl talk took precedence. Now, we all know that I am fairly (read: extremely) oblivious to figuring out when boys like me, but after an hour or so of the new guy staring at me, I decided I should pay a bit of attention to Bernard, especially when a few of my friends made a comment about said staring.

Once engaged, he was delightful and was only concerned with speaking with me. Bernard would talk with the others but would be looking at me when answering the others. There was something there, a spark I'd long forgot the feeling of. He was engaging, kind, and everything about him felt so genuine. Bernard eats clean causing me to swoon when he said he avoids processed foods, only shopping in the meat, produce, and dairy departments. He owns his own business and is obtaining another degree to push him over the top - more swooning for ambitious and doing something about it. Bernard is also tall with a good sense of humor and zest for life.

Several times throughout the evening, Bernard stated he was so glad he stumbled upon us. He asked questions to probe my interest. He moved my chair so I would be right next to him.

Then Bernard casually mentioned his age while stating that some of the other bar patrons looked like kids. He is eight years younger than me. Enter the social stigmas and negative perceptions into my mind. Why is it that I immediately found myself thinking he was too young for me? Negative thoughts of being called a young cougar, the judgments.

The double standard of American society that says it is perfectly fine for a man to be with a significantly younger woman but the reverse doesn't apply. I have always been adverse to younger men due to maturity level. But I had assumed Bernard was only a few years younger than me. He has his act together and felt like my contemporary.

At the end of the evening, several of us, Bernard included went back to a friend's house since public transport options were virtually nil that time of night. We played a few games, watched a bit of telly while enjoying a few cocktails. Bernard and I shared a bed but nothing beyond sleeping happened, for which I was grateful.

The morning was made a bit awkward by me since I was in the same clothes I'd been in the night before and slept it and for once in my life I did not have chewing gum so I was embarrassed because I am a girly-girl like that. I dropped Bernard at the light rail station and we had a delightful conversation along the way.

I was waiting for Bernard to ask for my phone number but he didn't and I was too afraid to ask. I am thinking that was due to awkward morning more than anything else.

I truly liked Bernard and would like to get to know him better. I do have a way of contacting him and am thinking I should reach out to him. Open the door to opportunity.