nine years ago today

This morning as I looked at the calendar, I had a nagging feeling trying to remember why 10/26 felt like a day I should remember. Nothing came to my coffee deprived brain and physically sore body.

Later in the morning as I literally stared into the calendar trying desperately to remember the importance of today, the lightening bolt finally struck.

October 26th. The day I got married. Nine long years ago. Wow, a date that was once so important is now nothing more than a fleeting memory. I am actually and honestly surprised the significance of the date escaped me. I did not think that could actually happen, especially to me with my date and face steel trap mind. Repression is a wonderful thing, I suppose.

But looking back, shortly before 10/26/02, I knew this union was doomed. Deep within my soul, I knew without a doubt this relationship was not one of equality. At the time, I chalked it up to pre-wedding jitters. Now I know differently. Without a doubt.

Nine years later, I can say that I enjoyed my wedding day. Loved that I shared a special moment with my dearest family and friends, especially since several of my extra special dear ones are no longer on this earthly journey with me. I loved my dress. But I keep coming back to sharing that special time with people I loved, creating special connections with so many family members that I didn't previously know. For the relationship building alone, I would not trade that day for the world.

If it weren't for getting married, I would not have my precious Lulu and Juju. My world would be so pale if it weren't for those two dogs. The same dogs I would do anything for because they are an integral part of me.

I don't look back on today with bitterness and anger. Today's memories are filled with a gorgeous dress and love for my family and friends. Maybe the Beatles are right... all you need is love...