Tonight Super Dad and I spoke for awhile. My day had a few ups and downs; sadly, his day was all downs. I was the only phone call he would accept tonight. Yes, his day was that bad. A bad day when bad things just mount on top of each other in rapid succession. It is in those moments, when I learn about this upheaval in full motion that I find myself wondering about "us".
Why? Because I am not there physically present there for him. I am a voice on the phone, not a pair of eyes to look into. I am a voice on the phone, not someone who can hug him. I am a voice on the phone who cannot hold his hand while I reassure him that everything will be okay. I am a thirty minute phone call, not a regular presence.