I walk along a narrow, winding ridge in the valley of men. Super Dad continues to keep me company along the way. He is super sweet and genuinely cares about me. Honestly, if it wasn't for his mystery illness, I would be there with him. 100%. But until Super Dad can get back to leading a normal, fully engaged life, I cannot commit myself. I must be true to me. I must continue my active life and I need a partner that can take life head-on with me.
I haven't been able to disengage with Super Dad because I keep believing this mystery illness is temporary. That it is simply a matter of finding the right doctor because the cause is so easy to diagnose. Why must the cure be so elusive? I don't know if I am doing either of us more harm than good.
Lately Super Dad has been throwing in marriage comments into random parts of our conversations. A simple example of a day when I am not into playing along:
Patsy: I had the day from hell. People are stupid.
Super Dad: You can't solve the world's problems, honey, but you should seriously consider marrying me.
Patsy: *blinks at phone* What does that have to do with anything?
Super Dad: Everything. You should seriously consider marrying me.
I have been rather baffled at the frequency of this "marry me" chatter. It feels so abrupt. Almost in the vein of "marry me because I am going to die in six months". But I know Super Dad's problem is not fatal. Inconvenient, yes. A complete and utter annoying pain, literally and figuratively.
The next time Super Dad broaches the big "m" word, I am going to inquire as to the root of this obsession. I should stop trying to read between the lines and just find out the answer. My balance is good, my feet are stable along the ridge. I will inquire about what drives certain topic in the valley of men.