22 November 2011


Somehow I have survived a week without my little girl.

Floods of tears. Despair. Loneliness. Emptiness.

Those same feelings have been countered by gratitude for having such a precious angel in my life, realizations that she was my joy, resolute knowing everything happened as it should.

Right now there is an owl outside my kitchen door. His hooting is distracting me. He is being constant in his hoot, hoot, hoot. I have lived here almost three years and I have never heard an owl. Why is he here now? What is his message? His persistent hooting means I need to listen. I wonder if tonight's dreams will reveal anything?

Yesterday was quite difficult as the clock marked the milestones of the previous Monday. Lulu's last Monday. Lulu's last day. While at home before and after work, I could smell Lulu around me. I was so surprised to notice the thickness of Lulu in air around me. I've never experienced anything quite like it.

So, Mr. Owl, what are you telling me tonight?

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