31 October 2008

where i am coming from

The entire Southern Gentleman situation has been swirling down the toilet since I announced my Argentine holiday.

He did not like that I went without him even though he would not commit to a date.

I specifically asked him to come for my birthday. Upon initially asking, he stated that he made plans to meet his friends, Sam and Suzie on my birthday but would see about changing the date. He had offered alternatives and I told him that any of those would work but I would appreciate if he could see about my actual birthday weekend.

Typically, The Southern Gentleman would go straight to work on getting things set up for his visit, regardless of whether it would be birthday weekend or a subsequent weekend.

That did not happen this time. Furthermore, when he did finally announce that he was not coming, he did not offer one of his previously free weekends either. His reason for not coming (meeting friends a town over) and he is being secretive makes me think he is being set up with a girl. However, being set up, regardless of its truth is neither here nor there.

The phone call was simply the icing on a series of less than stellar attitude from him since August. Emails have been laced with rudeness. Maybe he is having a bad go of it but I cannot tolerate him taking it out on me. An innocent bystander who is 1,500 miles away.

I was prepared to leave my wonderful life here for him.

I have not seen The Southern Gentleman in 7 months. Daily emails do not make up for face time. I cannot go visit him because I have not been invited. Additionally, when I did suggest it last year, I was shot down. As such, I have completely respected his desire to take the lead.

In six short months, it will be 9 years that I first met this man. It has been over a year that I have thought there could be something more there. I see no reason to continue pursuing something that varies on his whims. I cannot let his hangups/fears stand between me and my happiness. If he decides to come around and I am available, I will entertain the idea. However, I cannot continue to wait as precious time continues to pass me by.

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