Fb is a splendid thing (sarcasm runs deep!) - it has it's ups and it's downs. When some people find you from the distant cobwebs of space and time, it is delightful, others you wish would just stay repressed in the dark recesses of yesterday. Clearly, I have a love-hate relationship with fb.
Random co-workers have found me there - bad. very bad. Then yesterday an acquaintance from my undergrad days emerged onto the radar screen. I was delighted to hear from her. However, she mentioned Spoofy. A name I'd long forgotten; as in my undergrad boyfriend-like character.
Then I start to wonder because my inquisitive mind is always on overdrive and before I know it, google once again has the keys to the kingdom of information. I really should have been a detective. There was a bit of information out there, including a small profile photo of him.
Seeing his photo threw me for a loop. It was about this time of year, 13 years ago that we went our separate ways. Spoofy looked exactly as I remembered him. Much to my surprise, my thinking went directly to how different my life would be if we'd have stayed together. all these years later. I vividly remember laying on the carpeting of the rental house looking through the book of grad schools, dreaming of the future. It was Christmastime and Spoof has just given me my prezzie, Victoria Secret bath stuff. The possibilities were endless, laying directly in front of me contained in the pages of his book.
I was amazed that here, today, I felt that twinge when thinking of him, seeing him. Maybe I'll never forget my first love. At least through all the ups and downs, I remember the good parts of my days with The Spoof (which is something I don't have from The Leech or Montana Man). I still have the antique lab stools he got me. I remember when he called me with a surprise, that would later be revealed as the first of four stools. We had so much fun.
The gravity defying daiquiris. Vinyl clothing. Late night french fries. Amazing pashes. My 21st birthday. Physics class. All these memories flooding my present. A time when life was carefree. I hadn't been hurt and disappointed yet. My heart was open.
Maybe that's why these memories are so overwhelming.
28 August 2009
24 August 2009
diving head first
Thursday evening I met my first ATX on-line dating man.
I did require not one, but two pep talks in order to make it to the bar. I tried like hell to grab a drink somewhere else, anywhere else before to calm me because I hate this part. Of course, Blondie and Pat Benetar were having a show downtown, which led to parking being an absolute nightmare and I never did get my pre-meeting chillout cocktail.
I arrived earlier than our appointed hour and proceeded to have a glass of champagne. I was wearing my black and white Calvin Klein modern take on the classic June Cleaver dress. My feet were tired from a week filled with stilettos, but I had chosen moderate heels that morning after much debate and inner turmoil. Little did I know, I really should have placed the kitten heels on my feet that morning. (foreshadowing! foreshadowing!)
So The Computer Geek came up to me at the bar. I was delighted that he did indeed resemble his photos. It was a bit of a rocky start as I hate that whole talking-to-a-person-you-barely-know thing and all the while I am being suspect since people aren't always truthful. The Computer Geek and I shared a bottle of wine and at some point the conversation flowed and before I knew it, time flew and it was late. I ran to the loo. I wasn't tipsy, simply tired and beginning to dread being up at dawn the next morning. Finished the bit of wine that was lingering in my glass. The Computer Geek picked up the check. He was digging me. We got up off the high bar chairs, then somehow I did not put my weight correctly on my right foot and before I know it, I am going down.
Down, down, down as in falling to the floor. I wanted to die. The Computer Geek was super nice and collected me up off the floor including my purse. I had to catch my breath. The bartender informed me that I executed my free-fall very gracefully. Meanwhile, I wanted to die. I thought I could walk on it but a few steps out of the bar door and I had to sit down on a bench. The Computer Geek was very nice, even rubbed my little ankle.
When I felt brave enough, I decided it was time to get this show back on the road. Stood up testing my stability. Then this is where the evening turned. The Computer Geek asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, thinking a small peck since I was injured, right. No, it turned into full-on makeout. Not terribly thrilled with that. Then as we continued walking toward our vehicles, he made a comment that I was a good kisser and he was sure I was good in bed too. That was when the antenna came up. When we went off in our separate ways, he offered to take me to my car but I declined. He also said he wanted to see me again.
Everything was good until that last part where the 'good in bed' comment came hurling out into the night air. Is it worth establishing boundaries? Or let this encounter die a quick and painless death? Of course, Montana Man was curious and when I told him about the comment, he stated the guy was tipsy (as he did have a vodka martini after the wine) and his filter wasn't fully operational, that I should cut him some slack and no kissing next time. I don't know if it is worth it or not. What do you think?
I did require not one, but two pep talks in order to make it to the bar. I tried like hell to grab a drink somewhere else, anywhere else before to calm me because I hate this part. Of course, Blondie and Pat Benetar were having a show downtown, which led to parking being an absolute nightmare and I never did get my pre-meeting chillout cocktail.
I arrived earlier than our appointed hour and proceeded to have a glass of champagne. I was wearing my black and white Calvin Klein modern take on the classic June Cleaver dress. My feet were tired from a week filled with stilettos, but I had chosen moderate heels that morning after much debate and inner turmoil. Little did I know, I really should have placed the kitten heels on my feet that morning. (foreshadowing! foreshadowing!)
So The Computer Geek came up to me at the bar. I was delighted that he did indeed resemble his photos. It was a bit of a rocky start as I hate that whole talking-to-a-person-you-barely-know thing and all the while I am being suspect since people aren't always truthful. The Computer Geek and I shared a bottle of wine and at some point the conversation flowed and before I knew it, time flew and it was late. I ran to the loo. I wasn't tipsy, simply tired and beginning to dread being up at dawn the next morning. Finished the bit of wine that was lingering in my glass. The Computer Geek picked up the check. He was digging me. We got up off the high bar chairs, then somehow I did not put my weight correctly on my right foot and before I know it, I am going down.
Down, down, down as in falling to the floor. I wanted to die. The Computer Geek was super nice and collected me up off the floor including my purse. I had to catch my breath. The bartender informed me that I executed my free-fall very gracefully. Meanwhile, I wanted to die. I thought I could walk on it but a few steps out of the bar door and I had to sit down on a bench. The Computer Geek was very nice, even rubbed my little ankle.
When I felt brave enough, I decided it was time to get this show back on the road. Stood up testing my stability. Then this is where the evening turned. The Computer Geek asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, thinking a small peck since I was injured, right. No, it turned into full-on makeout. Not terribly thrilled with that. Then as we continued walking toward our vehicles, he made a comment that I was a good kisser and he was sure I was good in bed too. That was when the antenna came up. When we went off in our separate ways, he offered to take me to my car but I declined. He also said he wanted to see me again.
Everything was good until that last part where the 'good in bed' comment came hurling out into the night air. Is it worth establishing boundaries? Or let this encounter die a quick and painless death? Of course, Montana Man was curious and when I told him about the comment, he stated the guy was tipsy (as he did have a vodka martini after the wine) and his filter wasn't fully operational, that I should cut him some slack and no kissing next time. I don't know if it is worth it or not. What do you think?
09 August 2009
follies of a hypocrite
Oh my!
Oh My!
This whole Internet dating thing is so terribly depressing.
Terribly. Terribly.
Thinking life on my own with the B.O.B. may be my only option.
Paralyzed men!
Oh My!
This whole Internet dating thing is so terribly depressing.
Terribly. Terribly.
Thinking life on my own with the B.O.B. may be my only option.
Paralyzed men!
06 August 2009
a hypocrite lives here
Yes, this week, I crossed the threshold into the land of the hypocrite.
After swearing off online dating compliments of the debacle otherwise known as Montana Man, I broke down and gave in on Tuesday. Of course, this time I am armed with my highly critical ideals (the list) and knowledge of the traps such as old photographs. Hence, I am very suspect of any and all potential gentleman callers.
Three days into this fun little experiment, I am already disheartened as the frogs have multiplied exponentially. However, I promised to give this experiment one month. Seeing as I have not been on a real date since January 2008, I will remain true to my word.
Due my position as hypocrite, only you, my little adventurers, will know of this experiment. Do fasten your seatbelts for this one!
After swearing off online dating compliments of the debacle otherwise known as Montana Man, I broke down and gave in on Tuesday. Of course, this time I am armed with my highly critical ideals (the list) and knowledge of the traps such as old photographs. Hence, I am very suspect of any and all potential gentleman callers.
Three days into this fun little experiment, I am already disheartened as the frogs have multiplied exponentially. However, I promised to give this experiment one month. Seeing as I have not been on a real date since January 2008, I will remain true to my word.
Due my position as hypocrite, only you, my little adventurers, will know of this experiment. Do fasten your seatbelts for this one!
30 July 2009
teeter-totter
I am tired. It has been a very long week. Very long.
Lots of progress on the work front. However, zero progress in the boy department. Ah, to have all facets of my life flowing perfectly. A girl's gotta dream, right?
Need to plan out my weekend with the invaders. As I have been working obnoxious hours, I have done very little in the planning our fun-filled times in Central Texas. Must make entertainment a priority. If it involves booze, even better!
Must get back to non-stop beating my head against the desk. Repeatedly. Yes, repeatedly.
Hopefully exciting stories are around the next bend!
Lots of progress on the work front. However, zero progress in the boy department. Ah, to have all facets of my life flowing perfectly. A girl's gotta dream, right?
Need to plan out my weekend with the invaders. As I have been working obnoxious hours, I have done very little in the planning our fun-filled times in Central Texas. Must make entertainment a priority. If it involves booze, even better!
Must get back to non-stop beating my head against the desk. Repeatedly. Yes, repeatedly.
Hopefully exciting stories are around the next bend!
28 July 2009
torn: a blonde's tale
It has been awhile since I spoke about my little pup, Juju. The main reason for her absence is because when I think of her, I miss her obnoxious little barky-self. Why? Because she has been at fat camp at her grandparents since March.
My parents and Juju came down here to the sun for a visit. Juju hates Texas; she especially hates summer in Texas, but alas she is down here to get a taste of 105 degree days that are the norm here.
Juju is a fickle blonde and I wasn't entirely sure how she would greet the mother who abandoned her four long months ago. Much to my surprise and delight, Juju was over joyed to see me, running up to me immediately, jumping into my arms, showering me with licks, and wagging her tail so hard that it shook her entire little body.
My little blonde is madly in love with my father. Very often, she is torn between choosing between me or my pops. She has changed some though. Juju has mellowed a lot. I am torn on that as I have always loved her over-the-top spunk while being simultaneously frustrated by it.
Overall, it is wonderful to have Juju around again. I will be sad to watch her leave but I know she is happier with my parents at this time. Until I am settled into a regular life again, she will have to stay with them for the next 8 months.
My parents and Juju came down here to the sun for a visit. Juju hates Texas; she especially hates summer in Texas, but alas she is down here to get a taste of 105 degree days that are the norm here.
Juju is a fickle blonde and I wasn't entirely sure how she would greet the mother who abandoned her four long months ago. Much to my surprise and delight, Juju was over joyed to see me, running up to me immediately, jumping into my arms, showering me with licks, and wagging her tail so hard that it shook her entire little body.
My little blonde is madly in love with my father. Very often, she is torn between choosing between me or my pops. She has changed some though. Juju has mellowed a lot. I am torn on that as I have always loved her over-the-top spunk while being simultaneously frustrated by it.
Overall, it is wonderful to have Juju around again. I will be sad to watch her leave but I know she is happier with my parents at this time. Until I am settled into a regular life again, she will have to stay with them for the next 8 months.
27 July 2009
the set-up: outcome
Thursday evening.
Much to my surprise, The Musician was handsome. And tall, and polite, and seemed to dig me. His eyes sparkled a bit when he was introduced to me. When the small group of us when to see the band, The Musician did stick around me, even briefly touched me on a few occasions. Of course watching a show is not conducive to any get-to-know-you conversations but he did ask me a few basic questions. He is working hard playing in clubs every night and teaches music during the day.
The weird part is that physically, both in build and appearance, The Musician resembles The Southern Gentleman. Similar but different. That and a few other interesting little tidbits are throwing me for a bit of a loop. I find myself asking "what if....", but not the frustrated what if thoughts that have been plaguing me for some time; these are the positive, I am ready to try, put myself out there again thoughts.
I sent out a little note to my co-worker letting her know it is okay for her to give The Musician my phone number. I know she will work her magic once she is back from holiday. Until then, maybe I'll stumble across one of his shows throughout the Live Music Capital of the World.
This town is small and I have faith.
Much to my surprise, The Musician was handsome. And tall, and polite, and seemed to dig me. His eyes sparkled a bit when he was introduced to me. When the small group of us when to see the band, The Musician did stick around me, even briefly touched me on a few occasions. Of course watching a show is not conducive to any get-to-know-you conversations but he did ask me a few basic questions. He is working hard playing in clubs every night and teaches music during the day.
The weird part is that physically, both in build and appearance, The Musician resembles The Southern Gentleman. Similar but different. That and a few other interesting little tidbits are throwing me for a bit of a loop. I find myself asking "what if....", but not the frustrated what if thoughts that have been plaguing me for some time; these are the positive, I am ready to try, put myself out there again thoughts.
I sent out a little note to my co-worker letting her know it is okay for her to give The Musician my phone number. I know she will work her magic once she is back from holiday. Until then, maybe I'll stumble across one of his shows throughout the Live Music Capital of the World.
This town is small and I have faith.
23 July 2009
the set-up
It's been a good few days. I can feel my long lost mojo returning, slowly but surely.
My day job has begun turn a corner, a long awaited and much deserved corner. And, boy, have I needed it - the reminder, the recognition, and the praise because it was beginning to feel that my toils here were unnoticed and unappreciated.
A few out-of-towners are here from my office, so I am going out with them tonight for dinner and away-from-office chat. One of these two women stared at my left hand and then asked if I was single. After "wow, that's from out in far left field," I told yes. Then she asked my age. "34." She finally connects the dots enthusiastically, "I have a friend down here, and he is a very nice man and he's 34 too. I want you to meet him." Aha!
So tonight after dinner, we are going to catch the end of his set. He is a musician but I did not inquire as to full-time musico or hobby. These ladies claim he is good looking and has a master's degree. Only one catch - he doesn't drink. Even though I am not a fish, I do enjoy my cocktails... so trying to keep an open mind on the no booze thing.
We will see...
My day job has begun turn a corner, a long awaited and much deserved corner. And, boy, have I needed it - the reminder, the recognition, and the praise because it was beginning to feel that my toils here were unnoticed and unappreciated.
A few out-of-towners are here from my office, so I am going out with them tonight for dinner and away-from-office chat. One of these two women stared at my left hand and then asked if I was single. After "wow, that's from out in far left field," I told yes. Then she asked my age. "34." She finally connects the dots enthusiastically, "I have a friend down here, and he is a very nice man and he's 34 too. I want you to meet him." Aha!
So tonight after dinner, we are going to catch the end of his set. He is a musician but I did not inquire as to full-time musico or hobby. These ladies claim he is good looking and has a master's degree. Only one catch - he doesn't drink. Even though I am not a fish, I do enjoy my cocktails... so trying to keep an open mind on the no booze thing.
We will see...
22 July 2009
the many creepy-crawlies of atx
Stepford is under siege; as if to be subject to a succession of invasions. Upon arriving at Stepford after class last night, I entered the master bath only to almost step on a gecko. I only let out a startled little yelp. Clearly, I am becoming immune to creepy crawlies. Rather than go into my typical melt down, I immediately sprung into action to relocate the critter. However, the clacking of my shoes scared little gecko into hiding behind the toilet.
I went about my evening as I knew he would eventually mobilize. Closing down Stepford for the evening, I notice a scurry in the hallway. It is the gecko! I race to the bedroom to fetch my ingenious gecko relocation device, a tupperware container and piece of paper. All the while, my trusty sidekick is on my heels. With a fluid motion, the gecko is trapped under the container. Wiggling the paper under the container proved to be a bit of a challenge because the little gecko was mighty jumpy. I am positive my trusty sidekick's unwavering gaze on the gecko did not help to alleve it's stress level. Scooting the occupied gecko device across the living room floor, we finally made it to the back door where I did my best to secure the device and tossed the gecko out the door into the warm night air. I did not see where the gecko landed as the pesky motion controlled light in the back yard did not register the movement, but then again it rarely registers motion. I was victorious! Pasty - 1, gecko - 0.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I saw something scurry in the master bedroom closet. Yes, there were actually two geckos in Stepford. Only one remains. However, this evening, the sole survivor shall be joining his brother outside via the gecko relocation device. Slowly but surely, I am becoming a Texan.
I went about my evening as I knew he would eventually mobilize. Closing down Stepford for the evening, I notice a scurry in the hallway. It is the gecko! I race to the bedroom to fetch my ingenious gecko relocation device, a tupperware container and piece of paper. All the while, my trusty sidekick is on my heels. With a fluid motion, the gecko is trapped under the container. Wiggling the paper under the container proved to be a bit of a challenge because the little gecko was mighty jumpy. I am positive my trusty sidekick's unwavering gaze on the gecko did not help to alleve it's stress level. Scooting the occupied gecko device across the living room floor, we finally made it to the back door where I did my best to secure the device and tossed the gecko out the door into the warm night air. I did not see where the gecko landed as the pesky motion controlled light in the back yard did not register the movement, but then again it rarely registers motion. I was victorious! Pasty - 1, gecko - 0.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I saw something scurry in the master bedroom closet. Yes, there were actually two geckos in Stepford. Only one remains. However, this evening, the sole survivor shall be joining his brother outside via the gecko relocation device. Slowly but surely, I am becoming a Texan.
21 July 2009
weather outlook
It appears an invasion is set to occur here at Stepford. You may find yourself thinking What is this girl talking about? An invasion? in Central Texas?
Yes, an invasion, otherwise known as my parents coming to visit. They arrived last November as a complete and utter surprise. This time I have received prior notice. I am happy with the arrival of 2/3 of the parties - my father and my Juju. However, the other third of the equation, the little black rain cloud, my mother is the one I am dreading.
I am not in the mood for the little black rain cloud to position it's negativity over Stepford. Everything is a complaint. Everything is wrong. The damn glass is always half empty and a bit dirty too. I am not in the frame of mind to deal with it. I have already started laying out the boundaries that she will surely ignore, but I have set the stage.
But how do you tell your mother to stay home as only 2/3 of the family equation is welcome. Just like the age old question of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop... the world may never know.
Yes, an invasion, otherwise known as my parents coming to visit. They arrived last November as a complete and utter surprise. This time I have received prior notice. I am happy with the arrival of 2/3 of the parties - my father and my Juju. However, the other third of the equation, the little black rain cloud, my mother is the one I am dreading.
I am not in the mood for the little black rain cloud to position it's negativity over Stepford. Everything is a complaint. Everything is wrong. The damn glass is always half empty and a bit dirty too. I am not in the frame of mind to deal with it. I have already started laying out the boundaries that she will surely ignore, but I have set the stage.
But how do you tell your mother to stay home as only 2/3 of the family equation is welcome. Just like the age old question of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop... the world may never know.
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