Reflections

I looked into her face, her eyes and for the first time in a very long time, I smiled back at her because I like what I see. Actually, I love what I see. She has the twinkle back in her blue, blue eyes. Her face lights up when she smiles. The light radiates from her. And the smile. It is not forced any more. There is no act. That smile is there because she cannot help but give into it.

She is happy again. Truly happy from the depth of her spirit - and that feeling that permeates her being is manifested with ease on her exterior because she cannot help it. She has stopped sabotaging herself, she sees, appreciates and accepts her subtle beauty. She is making strides in accepting her body - both the good and the bad. This is huge as before all she ever saw were bad parts that needed to be changed. Acceptance.

The self-confidence and self-esteem that was once an act is now pure and real. The dreams of true friends and fabulous social life are the tangible reality of her daily life. She readily let people into her life, where once that was a taboo, vulnerability was not allowed. No longer afraid to walk that balance beam because someone will catch her if she falls - and someone will help her get back on.

This knowledge has proven to be liberating for her. It has freed her, so that she is a conduit of love - most importantly loving herself for the first time in her life - unconditional love. And she sees that shift has changed her entire existence. And change is very good.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I was at the basin uncapping the contact solution bottles. As I was preparing to extricate the little plastic discs from my eyeballs, I caught this glimpse of myself in the mirror, which caused me to stop.