08 April 2008

TSG Holiday: The Departure

I laid in bed soaking up the last morning of waking up next to The Southern Gentleman on this particular holiday. The dogs woke him up like usual and he enjoyed it by the kindness towards her that sang through his voice.

We each got ready and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes the entire time. We were in the kitchen having a light breakfast. His mood was somber as well. The entire time he was here, I hadn’t initiated a conversation about the bigger us. Neither had he. Somehow I felt compelled to leave him with a snippet of information to shed a bit of light on our future together. The answer I arrived at was to ask about his visit to the astrologer years earlier. “So when you went to the seer, what did he tell you about children?” I plunged in, cutting to the chase. He danced with, “Yes, if you go, he can tell you about children. He can tell you about all areas of your life.”

I was not giving up so easily, “That’s not what I meant. Specifically, what did he tell you about your children?”

“He made my cousin leave the room when it came time to discuss the future. He made me promise not to share the information regarding my future with anyone. I cannot tell you. He told me some dates. One passed last spring, it was an ordinary day and I think about that, wondering if I missed something.”

My mind was trying to figure out how to get what I viewed as a vital yet subtle hint for him. So I did what I told Kimba I would not do – shared a bit of my experience with the palm reader from earlier this year. I told him I went to her in February. He asked how I knew she was legit and I shared with him that she had a proven track record with me. Eagerly, The Southern Gentleman asked me what she told me. I told him that she told me I would not be working with my current company for long time and that made me happy. Then he asked, “Did she tell you anything about your personal life?” I told him she did. In fact, almost too much information. I told him that she told me I would have three children – a girl and two boys. He did not say anything. That was the tidbit of information I wanted him to validate – had his reading revealed the same information. Could he connect the dots from that?

I told him repeatedly I did not want him to leave. Not only would I miss him, the pups would miss him too. All the while I was still trying to keep the tears contained. He told each puppy dog good bye, which melted my heart. The ride to the airport was quiet. He promised to come back before my lease is up. The Southern Gentleman also told me he would start planning our foreign holiday once he had his business stuff settled in a few months.

At the airport, The Southern Gentleman placed his bags on the sidewalk, and then he grabbed me, embracing me in the tightest hug… without a word, with that hug, he told me that he didn’t want to leave ever. As he held me tight against him, he kissed me on the cheek and his lips stayed on my cheek for a long time. Cue water works. We broke apart and as I looked at him, I asked him to hug me once more, which he did. And then he was gone through the glass doors.

He called me that night when he got home. I felt reassured by the lovey-airy quality of his voice, the fact he kept talking about nothing because he did not want to hang up the phone. I was sure to share that my big girl had been looking for him and she would whine as she tried to find him. I told him that I missed him already.

And the story continues…


kimba said...

What a story laden with promise Pats. He sounds lovely - very very lovely.


Patsy said...

Kimba ~ you think so? I have felt very mixed on it all...