27 October 2006

Hope Rises

I absolutely adore my therapist! For the first time ever in the history of trying to seek healing through a head shrinker, I finally found one who gets me and wants to work together to make me whole and healthy. Oh happy day!

Our weekly meeting was refreshing. After completing my homework last Friday - an afternoon fraught with tears, realizations, breakthroughs - I gained a lot of insight into myself and the situations I find myself in. I did not realize how angry and resentful I was toward my mum. How much I personalized the negative in MM's life as being my fault. And then to think about it realistically rather than distorted was simply eye opening. In one dull Friday afternoon with a straight-forward assignment and an honest heart, I felt the veil begin to lift.

My therapist and I discussed the assignment at great length - I had gotten the point of the assignment and even reported I caught myself in the distorted thinking patterns and did not let the pattern continue, to take me down it's twisted path. The more I spoke with her, the veil lifted a bit more.

No, I am not cured after two visits. Just because I did not cry in her office this time does not mean I am fixed. Yes, I understand it but applying it and making it my new way of life will take time, take practice. But I am feeling better. There is hope again.

When our session was over, my therapist hugged me and told me she was proud of me. A therapist hugging? I felt truly blessed because I now know without a doubt I found the person to help me through my mine field of depression.

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