27 August 2007

I am a Private School Bus

Today was a big Monday at home. I had to get myself to Montana Man's home at 7 AM to be there to take the gyrlies to school; Montana Man had an 8 AM meeting. So I got up early, honestly barely sleeping due to fear of oversleeping.

I got to Montana's Man house on time. That was the end of the goodness. It all went downhill from there. Honestly. Because. Kids. Being. Late. To. School. Is. Something. That. I. Find. Hard. To. Deal. With.

I remember being late as a child and the unnecessary drama that ensued. So I guess I am hyper-sensitive to it all. Montana Man running late as it is. Then the gyrlies and I leave, sans car seats, because car seats are in daddy's car headed opposite direction. So being a responsible adult, I ensure the gyrlies are belted in and head toward school. Montana Man calls in a panic - he figured out the car seats are in his car. We all have to turn around to meet at his home to get the car seats.

All is well. Head toward school. Aha! An accident on an already congested road. Luckily, my ever-calling Montana Man decides to ring. I inform him of the emergency lights on the horizon to which I get a "there is always traffic on this road; it's no accident you crazy woman." Luckily the kids saw the emergency vehicles and served as my witnesses that the "crazy lady" was in deed correct - accident up ahead.

But at my "holy fuck the traffic is not moving. Danger Will Robinson, the girlies are going to be oh so late," Montana Man turned around because only custodial parents can take the children in late and heaven forbid I be on any list of "approved" drop-off/picker-uppers.

So I am waiting to get onto the toll road, and the phone rings with Montana Man's special ring. I pick up. "You are in the wrong lane." I control my language due to the under aged ears in the vehicle. "Well Montana Man, if you stop calling me, I will be able to concentrate on DRIVING."

Dial tone. Toll booth. Missed turn. Finally at the school. Montana Man leading the caravan.

The gyrlie-gyrls were five minutes late. Montana Man did not make his 8 AM meeting - not by a long shot. I felt bad, I felt that I had let him down, let the girls down, he was in a pissy mood. But he told me shit happens and if it weren't for forgetting the car seats, everything would have been okay. And I start to think from me as opposed to them. I got up this morning to do him and the gyrls a favor. These children and their father are no longer my responsibility. Montana Man is going to go out and find other women to fuck, to pursue a life with and I am not on that radar. Fuck it, I was doing him a favor and life is not perfect. Not my responsibility. He's lucky I am a softy and agreed to it on my time at home. I win some, I lose some - but so long as I retain perspective, I cannot fail.

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