29 September 2007

And a Side Order of Patience, Please

hmmm... waiting. patience. patience.

Patience is not my strong suit. Never has been.

When I was a child, I'd sneak peeks at Christmas packages. Then got bolder and started finding my parents' hiding places for the presents. To this day, I purchase gifts for people and cannot wait to give them - it is pure torture for me to have to wait. Patience. I ain't got no.

I never fully realized how very ready I am to take the big leap. The big leap into a potential lifetime commitment of love. When face-to-face with reality, I discovered I am. I really am. And that has taken me by surprise. I am ready to move on to the next phase of my life.

While I love my freedom, no ties, I am ready to share my life with someone. It's taken me awhile to get here, but I am cool with that idea now. In fact, I embrace it with open arms. When I was married last time, I refused to change my last name. Even when Montana Man and I were chatting up marriage, I did not want to change my last name. It is my identity - I was deeply attached to fighting for it. However, with the Southern Gentleman, I would change my last name in a heart beat. That is a huge step for me - and it says a lot.

But we are now to the wait and see stage of the dance. Which requires patience. I think this is going to be a growing experience for me. Because like everything else in my life, nothing comes easy.

No comments: