poodle-licious

it is raining here. and rain puts a serious kibosh on my already lacking motivation.

while i am excited at the prospect of the lawn actually surviving the summer heat wave, i am significantly less thrilled with the oppressive humidity. we all know by now that humidity means i bitch about looking like i have poodle hair.

however to battle the poodle blues, i did make an appointment for a cut and highlight after i return from holiday next month. luckily i won't get chastised for my serious root situation along with it's pals the split ends. my drag queen hairdresser from heaven, how he works wonders!

tootles for now, my darlings!

reaction

disappointment.

my primary emotion today. disappointment.

but maybe it is his too?

however, it is not going to stop me from having a wonderful day or for that matter, a memorable adventure.

counting the days...

the response

I am mixed on how to perceive/interpret The Southern Gentleman's email regarding my upcoming holiday announcement.

Below is his response... the entire email - as if to be only one brief sentence.


buena suerte a tu viaje!

caballero del sur

breaking the news

I sucked it up today and shared the news of my upcoming holiday with The Southern Gentleman. Via email of course as he is on the other side of the moon this month. I kinda feel like Berger with his post-it note. kinda. Been debating how to do this properly because this is the exact holiday destination he and I were to go to this year. And now I am going with Edina and Magda. Not him. Unsure how the fragile male ego will receive this revelation.

I know The Southern Gentleman and I are not superglued, but still I feel badly for basically saying "I'm not waiting for you sucka." You see, last month he and I spoke and he specifically told me that when he returns from the other side of the moon at the end of August, he is forecasting about 6 weeks of negative cash flow. This screams to me in big, bold letters, 'girl, we are not going on holiday this fall.' So an alternative presented itself and I snatched it up. A fantastic alternative.

But still I hope The Southern Gentleman does not take this development the wrong way. I prefaced the revelation with the fact that I am thoroughly burnt out and desperately need a break and then proceeded to share that Edina and Magda invited me along. However, I did include that I was scouting the place out for us to return there too and I have many more vacation days left for the year too.

We will see how this news is received. I am hoping he understands and does not feel slighted. But we all know boyz are weird. So who really knows. Only time will tell as I already pushed the send button.

I do need this break so badly and that's no lie. I have been working like a hamster madly running the wheel for days on end for a year and half now. This holiday is long overdue. I need to get my mojo back, my wanderlust must be satisfied like a vampire requiring fresh blood to survive. Without a doubt, travel abroad always recharges me. Something about uncharted territory and a language barrier makes me thrive.

Each day now I think about where I will be a month from today... strolling the streets of a new city, speaking bad espanol, drinking wine in lieu of water at all times, and eating steaks, steaks, steaks. Those poor chick-fil-a cows will be very disappointed in me.

weakened knees

saturday and sunday i found my mesmerized watching the olympic swimmers. male swimmers to be more exact. oh i look at those muscular shoulders those men possess and i get absolutely weak in the knees.

yes, i am a shoulder girl. gazing on the american and australian physics brings fabulous memories of a shirtless southern gentleman to the forefront of my mind. aaaaahhhh.....

got a giggle out of edina spotting southern gentleman reminders at the olympic opening ceremony. over brekkie with edina and magda, we were chatting up our upcoming holiday when edina said she spotted a southern gentleman look-a-like during the march of athletes. she had to immediately call magda to point him out. you see, magda was ill when the southern gentleman rolled into town so she has not fallen under his spell yet. funny part is that the look-a-like was from the southern gentleman's paternal country.

needless to say i will be glued to the telly tonight to get another dose of male muscular shoulder madness!

timer in my head

I definitely require a sprinkler system that is not named Patsy.


I put the water on the lawn before the big pup and I went on our walk. As we were walking at lightening fast speeds and finished our route in record time, I planned to only leave the water on for another 10 minutes. The damn grass would receive its 30 minutes of watery goodness since it is over 100 degrees here daily and I typically forget to water.


Cue bed time. Mid-meditation I get struck by the grand realization that the water is still on the lawn! Two hours the front yard was watered! Crikey!

Sad part of this is that the lawn still looks like it is ready to die! Thank you, Mr. Sun for burning ever so brightly every single solitary day! This had better not come out of my damage deposit!

one of those days

Nothing quite sets the tone for your day as about half way through the morning being struck with the grand realization that your knickers are on backwards.


However, the only highlight has been that backwards knickers must have aligned the gods of air travel because I am officially ticketed. It has been quite the ordeal. The credit card company flagged the transaction as suspect so had to deal with all that (which I am glad they are looking out for me!) but seriously should it really take 4 whole days and 6 phone calls to purchase a ticket online?


But it is charged so give me a big Amen!


Because I need this break from reality like nobody's business.

fan clubs

There is a myriad of fan clubs out there. Some we strive to be a part of, others we abhor. I have a few that are a constant in my universe. Some you slip into because you find your niche.

My preferred niche has always been gay men. Yes, I proudly admit to being a fag hag. Whether it is proclaiming my most favorite movie ever is Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (and thereby subjecting straight boyfriends to watching it under duress) or the fact that I feel incredibly lost with my bestest gay pals being 2,000 miles away, I am a true rainbow hag.

Obviously, my favorite fan club is the land of gay men. To me, it all centers around acceptance. In many aspects, gay men are still viewed as outsiders themselves and as such I have felt most welcome and valued among my (obviously) favorite fan club. My bestest gay pals accept my sense of style and truly accept me. This level of acceptance is something that I have never felt from other women. Typically, other women view as the interloper, the competition, the outsider due to my outward appearance. However, things are very different in Austin. Instead of being subjected to the usual woman cattiness, women here accept me as I am. It has been a wonderful breath of hope that has truly changed my life.

So while the two outer limits of my life have been swapped, there are other changes in my various other fan clubs. Primarily, the male based arena. While The Southern Gentleman is still looming out there with great force, my other boy fan clubs are diametrically opposed. There is the would-never-date-you-but-enjoy-your-fawning-over-me fan club, also known as the Stroke My Ego fan base. Needless to say, I enjoy this particular club immensely. And then there is the dreaded, oh-my-dear-god-get-away-from-me-you-freak, also known as don’t-mistake-my good-manners-for-encouragement, but I most often refer to it as my Glowing Green Loser Magnet (with my finger and my thumb in the shape of an “L” on my forehead) fan base.

Like any girl, my primary Stroke My Ego fan was always a highlight I could count on much like the postman delivering regardless of sunshine or hail storms. I enjoyed watching his eyes light up like a dried out Christmas tree in March that fell victim to a stray flame. Always the unspoken adoration I needed during this desert of a dry spell I’ve been on out here. He is totally not my type but I did live to be atop the pedestal; until he found himself a girlfriend. The usual cheerful hug I’d receive upon walking in the door has been replaced with a handshake. A handshake! For Pete’s sake! Eye lights only flicker with half a flame and insecure girlfriend is glued to his side. My Stroke My Ego fan base has officially dried up out here. Boo hoo!

But the Glowing Green Loser Magnet fan base is alive and well; thriving in fact. What a sorry state of affairs. While I strongly adhere to the code of dating karma, I have had to begin leaving a hunk of my politeness at the door because the GGLM has been working overtime. Just thinking about my last few encounters is making me nauseous. Seriously. Guess I won’t be sharing them. Just imagine your worst stop-hitting-on-me-freak encounter ever, multiply it by 750 and you have my run-ins of late.

Hopefully one day each of the boys occupying the GGLM fan club will find some lonely girl out there who overlook his inner loser and adore his freaky ass persistence. I would not complain if this fan club dried up too.

ready to strangle the internets

Reason #324 why I hate the internet. ugh!

I am trying to price out a ticket to join my girlfriends on their holiday. Easy, right? I have flight times and cities.

However, no website - orbitz - travelocity - united - american - seems to know the second city i want to fly into. grumble, grumble. only one carrier actually acknowledges that the city exists but cannot get the ticket to price out?!?!

is this the universe's nice way of telling me not to go?

I need a holiday! Please!

party barge

another day of pure magic here in austin...

of course, i still feel like i am floating along on the boat... but only the remnants of a million jello shots remain.

another day of what makes this place so special....