24 November 2006

Boundaries or the Gobble Day Disaster

In an attempt to spend a pleasant Turkey Day as the boycott is in full effect, I went to a Friend's. One who I thought was a good friend and she knows the ups and downs of that which is referred to as the boycott. In fact, she often refers to us as best friends. Note key word: thought.

I pull up in the Benz and the other male guest run out the door to check out the fine German machinery before the key is out of the ignition. Dinner was uneventful - pleasant enough. After dinner, we all get up from the table. Friend and her husband are clearing the table. I, being a good guest, begin to pick up dishes so Friend does not have to leave the dishwasher she is loading. Nice, right? Wrong in Friend's world. I get my ass handed to me for placing two dishes on the counter top beside her. To quote "What are you doing putting those dirty dishes on my clean counter top!" Note: counter top was not clean. "Of all people, I would have never thought you'd do this to me." To which, she picked up the two dishes like a wild woman and brought them back to the kitchen table. Creating quite a scene all the while.

Let's summarize with one word - Ridiculous. No. Two words - Ridiculous and Rude.

I drank a glass of wine while contemplating how to handle this. Normally, I'd have stayed and glossed over it. But it got me damn mad because it was so unnecessary - two fucking dirty dishes. I knew she had control issues but F.U.C.K.

She'd been on shaky ground with me because of the Benz and the nasty jealous digs she'd make about it. Next nasty remark, she was going to hear that I couldn't be her pal if she kept her hard-on about the damn car. Also, she relished a little too much pleasure that things with MM and I were kaput. She was too upset and made sure she announced to everyone whenever we were together that I screw up her poker game when I play with them because I win instead of her. Poor loser.

So after contemplating, I grabbed my salad bowl, unused fondue pot, and my purse and walked right out the front door and kept on going until the engine was purring and I was on my way home.

Normally, I'd have been concerned about what the rest of the guests thought; but I said fuck it - I'll never see them again and quite frankly I really don't give a flying fuck. I won't tolerate that petty behaviour from my family, so why the fuck am I going to let a stranger get way with that unnecessary shit.

The boundary had been set with the Benz comment and it transferred to the unnecessary bullshit of two plates and being a decent human being. I had set the boundary and she crossed it. I won't talk to her anymore. I don't care because I don't need people like that in my life. I left quietly because she hates, no despises non-confrontation, which leaves me feeling warm and happy inside.

I am proud of myself because I set the boundary and enforced it. Woo hoo!! Growth, progress, and score one for the gyrl!

3 comments:

c said...

good for you! that wasn't the way a friend acts - none of it. there's enough crap in the world to deal with - you don't need to take it from people who are SUPPOSED to be close to you.

Kulia said...

Rockin' setting of boundaries, I wish more people would be that direct on Turkey day.

Anonymous said...

thats what im talking about !!