I should have said something last night when he grabbed my ass. But I was mortified. The world slowed and time stopped. The only thought circling in my little pea brain was "did he really just do that".
I had never thought in a million years a manager would do that, any employee at all for that matter. never. ever.
I am immune to the old men talking shit about me. Talk is exactly that ~ talk. But laying a hand on me is another situation entirely.
Of course, he is everywhere I am today. I am not my usual friendly self toward him. He thinks he is a ladies man.
Now I do not prance around the office in short skirts or low cut tops. I dress professionally and try to look good for myself every day. I do not flirt or encourage any level of inappropriate behavior. I work with a bunch of old men, whom I used to see as harmless. I do not look at them like that anymore.
I am not some beautiful supermodel kind of gorgeous. I am pretty, take decent care of myself. I did not deserve to have that manager violate me. The shock is gone, leaving me with anger. It must be visible because a co-worker mentioned that I look haggard and frazzled.
urgh.
29 November 2007
28 November 2007
never ok
this is gonna be short, kids. i am upset. upset does not do justice to how i feel right now.
i was at a non-sanctioned work function tonight. sanctioned or not, it was still all work peeps all the time. as i was exiting the function, a manager told me good night. said manager hugged me. while hugging me, he proceeded to grab my ass. not once, but twice.
shocked. mortified. disgusted. pissed off. disappointed.
i was at a non-sanctioned work function tonight. sanctioned or not, it was still all work peeps all the time. as i was exiting the function, a manager told me good night. said manager hugged me. while hugging me, he proceeded to grab my ass. not once, but twice.
shocked. mortified. disgusted. pissed off. disappointed.
27 November 2007
caught off guard
yesterday was a weird one. monday... a monday i am not sure to forget simply because of my being utterly and completely caught off guard.
cue a ping by montana man. conversation develops as i am not leaving town until the evening, whereas, he'd thought i was already gone. i sarcastically apologize for an innocent statement. the zinger hits ~ "i'll have to come over and spank you good" says montana man.
excuse me? i do not play along. he is dating someone else. i am done with him. he does not give up. he keeps sexually slated speak going. as if to tell me he is hard sitting there at his cubicle. he wants us to have sex "for closure." i keep typing no. i use his words against him ~ "you're a taken man" "this is called cheating" "you were upset when you found out your ex had cheated on you when you were married" "no"
montana man had this perfectly reasoned in his head. to him, this proposition would not be cheating. he would not tell her anything. it was only about us. he did not see anything wrong with the fact that he is dating another woman but is hard at his desk thinking about me.
something is rotten in the state of his current relationship.
i finally conceded but not for the reasons you may think. there is an outstanding loan for a considerable amount of cash. he has dodged signing the promissory note for some time now. i conceded knowing he'd be in my home and i'd finally be able to get the piece of paper signed.
some days, a gyrl has to do what a gyrl has to do. yesterday was one of those days. i got that piece of paper signed with more ease that i thought possible.
funny thing was that after we had sex, he did not leave. he stayed and talked for like two hours. i think he missed more than our intense physical connection, he misses our conversations too.
my observations about his new sex life: lacking oral, roll your eyes orgasms, lights are never on. he was eating up the oral portion of the program, even more so than usual. he was not displaying the level of control that he once commanded. his eyes were trained on mine the entire time. he did not blink, he did not look around, his eyes were locked on my eyes the entire time and then some. it was rather unnerving. he talked about the tingle in his toes that he had forgotten about.
this was not like our past fcuk buddy encounters of long ago. this was on par with our fresh days of new relationship sex. it was weird. there were his passionate kisses the nanosecond he entered the door. savoring and caressing my body as clothing slowly came off. he held me long and tight post-coitus. all these things tell me something is not right with his current relationship.
but i do not want to venture down relationship road with montana man again. the mid-morning rendezvous was exactly that - a mid-morning rendezvous where i got a completed legal document with the much needed signature.
i was shocked that after all his expounding of happiness that montana man came looking for sex. i never anticipated this happening. after a break up ~ yes. not during a relationship though.
i am sure there was some or all sorts of motivation, games running though his mind, fueling this entire encounter. i have no time to dissect it nor do i care. i am merely keeping a record to file under wacky things that only happen to me.
cue a ping by montana man. conversation develops as i am not leaving town until the evening, whereas, he'd thought i was already gone. i sarcastically apologize for an innocent statement. the zinger hits ~ "i'll have to come over and spank you good" says montana man.
excuse me? i do not play along. he is dating someone else. i am done with him. he does not give up. he keeps sexually slated speak going. as if to tell me he is hard sitting there at his cubicle. he wants us to have sex "for closure." i keep typing no. i use his words against him ~ "you're a taken man" "this is called cheating" "you were upset when you found out your ex had cheated on you when you were married" "no"
montana man had this perfectly reasoned in his head. to him, this proposition would not be cheating. he would not tell her anything. it was only about us. he did not see anything wrong with the fact that he is dating another woman but is hard at his desk thinking about me.
something is rotten in the state of his current relationship.
i finally conceded but not for the reasons you may think. there is an outstanding loan for a considerable amount of cash. he has dodged signing the promissory note for some time now. i conceded knowing he'd be in my home and i'd finally be able to get the piece of paper signed.
some days, a gyrl has to do what a gyrl has to do. yesterday was one of those days. i got that piece of paper signed with more ease that i thought possible.
funny thing was that after we had sex, he did not leave. he stayed and talked for like two hours. i think he missed more than our intense physical connection, he misses our conversations too.
my observations about his new sex life: lacking oral, roll your eyes orgasms, lights are never on. he was eating up the oral portion of the program, even more so than usual. he was not displaying the level of control that he once commanded. his eyes were trained on mine the entire time. he did not blink, he did not look around, his eyes were locked on my eyes the entire time and then some. it was rather unnerving. he talked about the tingle in his toes that he had forgotten about.
this was not like our past fcuk buddy encounters of long ago. this was on par with our fresh days of new relationship sex. it was weird. there were his passionate kisses the nanosecond he entered the door. savoring and caressing my body as clothing slowly came off. he held me long and tight post-coitus. all these things tell me something is not right with his current relationship.
but i do not want to venture down relationship road with montana man again. the mid-morning rendezvous was exactly that - a mid-morning rendezvous where i got a completed legal document with the much needed signature.
i was shocked that after all his expounding of happiness that montana man came looking for sex. i never anticipated this happening. after a break up ~ yes. not during a relationship though.
i am sure there was some or all sorts of motivation, games running though his mind, fueling this entire encounter. i have no time to dissect it nor do i care. i am merely keeping a record to file under wacky things that only happen to me.
26 November 2007
Tagged
I gots tagged by KE
The Easy Peasy Rules
Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share 7 facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
7 Random Facts
The Easy Peasy Rules
Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share 7 facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
7 Random Facts
- My jaw is ever so slightly crooked
- I did not attend my senior prom
- Getting divorced was the best thing I ever did for myself. I am proud of my strength to through with it.
- Late bloomer. I only lost my virginity after graduating from college
- Vueve is my favorite champagne
- I hate my thighs
- Vacuuming. I detest it.
The 7 Victims
25 November 2007
Sunday Phone Call
True to his word, The Southern Gentleman did call me this evening.
Honestly based on his rubber band behavior, I was prepared for him not to call (while we all know I was secretly hoping and praying he would). We spoke for 22 minutes. He filled me in on his weekend and things on his list for the coming week. He asked about some of my statements from my e-mail relating to things I am currently facing ~ cha-cha-changes a la work related.
He said he was hung over today after his fun Saturday. The fact that he likes to have fun, live life is very important to me; however, equally important is that he believes work is important and actually does it too.
Today, the Southern Gentleman sounded like his old self, the same man who used to call me every Sunday like clock work. Hearing that familiar tone made me very happy and also provided me the reassurance I needed that I am not simply making all this up. A la Stuart Smally: He does dig me ~ honestly and truly.
Besides, to ease things in my over analyzing mind, the proverbial 34 is rapidly approaching. I am excited to see what happens when the chime finally rings in early February. Will the tides begin to turn as others have spoken about? A little over 2 months away, I can learn to be patient ~ after all the finish line is so close now ~ finally.
Honestly based on his rubber band behavior, I was prepared for him not to call (while we all know I was secretly hoping and praying he would). We spoke for 22 minutes. He filled me in on his weekend and things on his list for the coming week. He asked about some of my statements from my e-mail relating to things I am currently facing ~ cha-cha-changes a la work related.
He said he was hung over today after his fun Saturday. The fact that he likes to have fun, live life is very important to me; however, equally important is that he believes work is important and actually does it too.
Today, the Southern Gentleman sounded like his old self, the same man who used to call me every Sunday like clock work. Hearing that familiar tone made me very happy and also provided me the reassurance I needed that I am not simply making all this up. A la Stuart Smally: He does dig me ~ honestly and truly.
Besides, to ease things in my over analyzing mind, the proverbial 34 is rapidly approaching. I am excited to see what happens when the chime finally rings in early February. Will the tides begin to turn as others have spoken about? A little over 2 months away, I can learn to be patient ~ after all the finish line is so close now ~ finally.
24 November 2007
A little disappointed...
The Phone Call
"So yes, The Southern Gentleman called me on Turkey Day," she says all giddy with excitement.
I had heard the phone ring whilst at my parents but did not bother to see who it was. You know how it is when you try to speak to someone when at your parents' home. Mom is all ears trying to hear every word while pretending to watch HGTV. Dad comes through and his stumbling around in the background is audible ~ simply chaos and constant potential for disaster for this gyrl.
Later in the evening, I finally checked my mobile only to the missed call was indeed The Southern Gentleman. I am immediately intoxicated with happiness and listen to his voicemail. And it was quite the voicemail. He sounded a little tipsy. He apologized for being MIA for awhile, wished me a happy turkey day, he's had a few drinks tonight, he'd been out of pocket with his father, finally home, got my email, sounds like the birthday was rockin', his schedule is looking better for a December visit, he looks forward to speaking with me. I was jumping out of my skin! The Rubber Band effect is on its way back in!!
I did call him back when I got home. His voice lit up when I said hello. Again more apologies. I told him it was freezing here; in fact, I'd been making my little dog sleep with me. To which he replied, "Well how about I come out there and keep you warm." YIPPEE!! More jumping out of my skin!! He filled me in about what he's been doing. We spoke for 40 minutes. He said he'd call me on Saturday or Sunday. It could be next Sunday and I wouldn't care because the rubber band is coming back toward me; just like the book said it would happen.
Patience. That is all I need. Because once his mind is made up, The Southern Gentleman will move at high speed. I simply know it.
I found my notebook from readings with my beloved psychic. The man she always spoke of is The Southern Gentleman. The references fit ~ not because I am forcing the puzzle pieces ~ but because it actually makes sense now. The small references, things I never understood, make perfect sense now.
Should I be saying this out loud? When I am honest with myself, truly honest, about my feelings for this man all these years, I do not need a psychic or anyone else to tell me this man is the "one". My heart has always known it was him. And being that brutally honest with myself has been difficult. I live surrounded by a brick wall that protects my heart from further damage. But I have always wanted to share my heart with him and he with me. Being honest with myself was the first step. Once day, I will be honest with him too. The point is I look forward to being honest with him about my feelings ~ and I am a gyrl who never tells a man how I feel ~ but this time is different, so very different.
It is all there. It is merely a matter of time. I've waited for a very long time. I will have to learn to wait just a little longer.
I had heard the phone ring whilst at my parents but did not bother to see who it was. You know how it is when you try to speak to someone when at your parents' home. Mom is all ears trying to hear every word while pretending to watch HGTV. Dad comes through and his stumbling around in the background is audible ~ simply chaos and constant potential for disaster for this gyrl.
Later in the evening, I finally checked my mobile only to the missed call was indeed The Southern Gentleman. I am immediately intoxicated with happiness and listen to his voicemail. And it was quite the voicemail. He sounded a little tipsy. He apologized for being MIA for awhile, wished me a happy turkey day, he's had a few drinks tonight, he'd been out of pocket with his father, finally home, got my email, sounds like the birthday was rockin', his schedule is looking better for a December visit, he looks forward to speaking with me. I was jumping out of my skin! The Rubber Band effect is on its way back in!!
I did call him back when I got home. His voice lit up when I said hello. Again more apologies. I told him it was freezing here; in fact, I'd been making my little dog sleep with me. To which he replied, "Well how about I come out there and keep you warm." YIPPEE!! More jumping out of my skin!! He filled me in about what he's been doing. We spoke for 40 minutes. He said he'd call me on Saturday or Sunday. It could be next Sunday and I wouldn't care because the rubber band is coming back toward me; just like the book said it would happen.
Patience. That is all I need. Because once his mind is made up, The Southern Gentleman will move at high speed. I simply know it.
I found my notebook from readings with my beloved psychic. The man she always spoke of is The Southern Gentleman. The references fit ~ not because I am forcing the puzzle pieces ~ but because it actually makes sense now. The small references, things I never understood, make perfect sense now.
Should I be saying this out loud? When I am honest with myself, truly honest, about my feelings for this man all these years, I do not need a psychic or anyone else to tell me this man is the "one". My heart has always known it was him. And being that brutally honest with myself has been difficult. I live surrounded by a brick wall that protects my heart from further damage. But I have always wanted to share my heart with him and he with me. Being honest with myself was the first step. Once day, I will be honest with him too. The point is I look forward to being honest with him about my feelings ~ and I am a gyrl who never tells a man how I feel ~ but this time is different, so very different.
It is all there. It is merely a matter of time. I've waited for a very long time. I will have to learn to wait just a little longer.
Black Friday
It was another cold, cold day here at the ranch. I am tired of being so cold.
Did not do any after-Thanksgiving shopping. Shopping holds no excitement for me here. Did go to the new TJ Maxx and the entire time I kept thinking about all the good shopping I was missing out on in SxSW. I have been jaded toward the shopping here after spending a considerable amount of time in the Bay area and NYC. But when even a town as "small" as SxSW compared to the Mile Hi has hands-down better shopping, it simply leaves my little heart yearning for all things SxSW.
I am still in the dewy mist of speaking to The Southern Gentleman last night. But more on that tomorrow because this gyrl has got to sleep!
Did not do any after-Thanksgiving shopping. Shopping holds no excitement for me here. Did go to the new TJ Maxx and the entire time I kept thinking about all the good shopping I was missing out on in SxSW. I have been jaded toward the shopping here after spending a considerable amount of time in the Bay area and NYC. But when even a town as "small" as SxSW compared to the Mile Hi has hands-down better shopping, it simply leaves my little heart yearning for all things SxSW.
I am still in the dewy mist of speaking to The Southern Gentleman last night. But more on that tomorrow because this gyrl has got to sleep!
22 November 2007
21 November 2007
Blah Wednesday
Nothing hot and spicy happened last night. In fact, happy hour was quite, well, I suppose "dead" would be the proper word.
Today has been snow central. My blood has thinned. I have the furnace cranked and am wearing a jacket inside. I have become such a wimp.
I just sent The Southern Gentleman an email. Thanked him for the birthday card. We'll see what our Southern Rubber Band Man is up to.
Montana Man got on my very last nerve today. My patience is wearing thin with him. I look forward to the day when the books are relatively balanced and I can be free of him. Once. And. For. All. His resistance has been so draining on me. I am tired of his shite. So. Tired. I guess that comes with seeing clearly through all his smoke and mirrors. At least I can see through now.
Woo hoo! I get to sleep in tomorrow! I think that calls for a quiet evening of catching up on Pushing Daisies online and a bit of knitting as Christmas is winging its way toward us.
Today has been snow central. My blood has thinned. I have the furnace cranked and am wearing a jacket inside. I have become such a wimp.
I just sent The Southern Gentleman an email. Thanked him for the birthday card. We'll see what our Southern Rubber Band Man is up to.
Montana Man got on my very last nerve today. My patience is wearing thin with him. I look forward to the day when the books are relatively balanced and I can be free of him. Once. And. For. All. His resistance has been so draining on me. I am tired of his shite. So. Tired. I guess that comes with seeing clearly through all his smoke and mirrors. At least I can see through now.
Woo hoo! I get to sleep in tomorrow! I think that calls for a quiet evening of catching up on Pushing Daisies online and a bit of knitting as Christmas is winging its way toward us.
20 November 2007
A Chilly Tuesday
The snow. It. is. coming.
I am bundled up in preparation. My blood has already thinned from my time in the Lone Star state because I have never ever worn a jacket inside all day. And the temperature is only going to d.e.c.r.e.a.s.e. yuck
I had day two with the dentisto. Of course, the first super mega shot of Novocaine does relatively nothing to induce numbness. A second super mega shot was had and only then did twilight numbness ensue. It took longer to get numb than it did for dentisto to drill the little dots.
Tonight I am going to happy hour with my neighbs and her daughter. We are an episode of Absoultely Fabulous. It should be fun sans the frigid arctic tundra!
Hopefully something a little sassy and spicy will happen at happy hour tonight, which will make for a good story. Am definitely going to go upstairs and find some sort of juicy cleavage exposing top... make those boobies work for me!
It's funny but just being home has made me want to do nothing but turn my brain off, do chores and chill....
I am bundled up in preparation. My blood has already thinned from my time in the Lone Star state because I have never ever worn a jacket inside all day. And the temperature is only going to d.e.c.r.e.a.s.e. yuck
I had day two with the dentisto. Of course, the first super mega shot of Novocaine does relatively nothing to induce numbness. A second super mega shot was had and only then did twilight numbness ensue. It took longer to get numb than it did for dentisto to drill the little dots.
Tonight I am going to happy hour with my neighbs and her daughter. We are an episode of Absoultely Fabulous. It should be fun sans the frigid arctic tundra!
Hopefully something a little sassy and spicy will happen at happy hour tonight, which will make for a good story. Am definitely going to go upstairs and find some sort of juicy cleavage exposing top... make those boobies work for me!
It's funny but just being home has made me want to do nothing but turn my brain off, do chores and chill....
monday full of answers
it is 12:01 but it is still monday to me. a monday i will never forget.
today, a big prayer of mine was answered. i am so joyful and happy.
today, a big prayer of mine was answered. i am so joyful and happy.
18 November 2007
Another Theft
1. FIRST NAME? Patsy
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope. My father always wanted a Patsy
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Last Wednesday night ~ tears of joy and happiness, which is a super nice change
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? it is one of my hallmarks
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? it is a toss up between warm roast beef and pastrami
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? You better believe it ~ I add the sparkle
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Definitely ~ on my list of must do before I die ~ in SA
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Does Chex Mix count?
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I have to untie because i have to tie them tight to begin with due to my narrow feet
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? My strength is another hallmark
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR? Pistachio
14. SHOE SIZE? Typically an 8, but anywhere from a 7.5 to a 9... if the shoe fits, I buy it!
15. RED OR PINK? Red. 'nuf said
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? That I am my worst enemy and harshest critic.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my babies, the pup gyrls
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? that would be simply delightful
19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black jeans, teal tank top, and my black Fit Flops
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? mahi mahi cevice
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Killers ~ Sam's Town album ~ Read My Mind
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Red
23. FAVOURITE SMELL? Hyacinths
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Some random bloke who wants to buy the car
25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Shoulders, smile/eyes
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU STOLE THIS FROM? I certainly do
27. FAVOURITE DRINK? a Tito's Vodka martini, dirty
28. FAVOURITE SPORT? hockey, sex
29. EYE COLOUR? deep blue
30. HAT SIZE? Anything that works with the fluffy hair
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? gas perm lenses since I was 11 or 12
32. FAVOURITE FOOD? potato chips, movie popcorn smothered in butter, good green chile, sushi that melts in my mouth
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? depends entirely on the mood and who I am with... both have their ups depending upon the company I am keeping at the time
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, summer, summer
36. HUGS OR KISSES? kisses... deep... passionate... long... kisses... yummy....
37. FAVOURITE DESSERT? in bed with some whip cream, or no whip cream... but there is a cherry
38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? no one
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? everyone
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus... because Dixie said so... and The Southern Gentleman truly is a rubber band!
41. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I am a track ball kind of gyrl
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Split Ends
43. FAVOURITE SOUNDS? sweet nothings being whispered in my ear
44. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? Beatles
45. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? Australia or India... either way both were a damn long time in an airplane
46. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I play piano, and like C ~ bjs
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 5,280
48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I snatched this from C, since I am behind on work... that was due Friday....
17 November 2007
Thursday... lost
I wrote out Thursday's post but somehow 15 November 2007 did not stick to Blogger... here it is again... thank goodness I keep a copy in Word!
***************
Worked really late last night. I am exhausted and honestly quite tired of staring into a computer screen. I spoke with a girlfriend of mine who lives in Dixie, so henceforth, she will be known as Dixie in blogland. Dixie inquired as how my beau (her exact words) was. When I informed her that I did not technically call The Southern Gentleman a beau quite yet, I did share with her that he has been rather scarce lately but did send me a birthday card. Dixie has an ability to succinctly size up any given situation and provide the associated, always dead-on advice on absolutely anything; and I mean anything. Dixie first asked if I had ever read Men are from Mars. In fact, I have not. Per the book, Dixie went on to expound that The Southern Gentleman is in rubber band mode. This stretching of the rubber band typically occurs after an intense event – cue our dreamy weekend together. Any chasing on my part during the rubber band stretching would be detrimental – cue why Montana Man’s way to catch a man was not working; damn good thing I ceased that operation. Then after The Southern Gentleman has stretched, he will come back and we will move on to the next level. So sayeth Dixie, therefore it shall be.
Stay tuned! Because if Dixie is right, and remember Dixie is always right, this could become very juicy!
***************
Worked really late last night. I am exhausted and honestly quite tired of staring into a computer screen. I spoke with a girlfriend of mine who lives in Dixie, so henceforth, she will be known as Dixie in blogland. Dixie inquired as how my beau (her exact words) was. When I informed her that I did not technically call The Southern Gentleman a beau quite yet, I did share with her that he has been rather scarce lately but did send me a birthday card. Dixie has an ability to succinctly size up any given situation and provide the associated, always dead-on advice on absolutely anything; and I mean anything. Dixie first asked if I had ever read Men are from Mars. In fact, I have not. Per the book, Dixie went on to expound that The Southern Gentleman is in rubber band mode. This stretching of the rubber band typically occurs after an intense event – cue our dreamy weekend together. Any chasing on my part during the rubber band stretching would be detrimental – cue why Montana Man’s way to catch a man was not working; damn good thing I ceased that operation. Then after The Southern Gentleman has stretched, he will come back and we will move on to the next level. So sayeth Dixie, therefore it shall be.
Stay tuned! Because if Dixie is right, and remember Dixie is always right, this could become very juicy!
Self-help Saturday
Today I was up early to spring the gyrls. Then off to an appointment on the other side of town. Actually two appointments. Things went surprisingly well on both fronts.
I went to the library and picked up Dixie's book since I have yet to read the men are from Mars thing anyway. So as if freeze again tonight, I will be in my big fluffa bed curled with male knowledge inked on a page.
More tomorrow!
I went to the library and picked up Dixie's book since I have yet to read the men are from Mars thing anyway. So as if freeze again tonight, I will be in my big fluffa bed curled with male knowledge inked on a page.
More tomorrow!
16 November 2007
What a gyrl wants
So many times I hear “I want someone to grow old with.”
I simply want someone to be young with, to be vibrant with, and to live this life to its fullest with. I want to live in the now and share the present with someone. Not focus my relationship on having a spare in the back for the days when my hair has whitened and joints ache. What is the fun in that?
I want to experience life with a man who is not afraid to take a big bite. A man who will gleefully scramble to the top of Macchu Picchu and take out the trash ~ in both situations, it will not be a chore for him, merely part of life, our life together.
While I have traveled the world, have done well for myself, I do yearn to have someone to share it all with. However, how the sharing is done is another story, as I will not be any man’s sugar mama. I do not care how cute he is or how good he is in bed; I will not be in a relationship again where the money scales are tipping in my favor.
Where is he? I want to make the memories before the growing old is well on its way, before a hot, steamy night consist of he and I slathering each other in ben-gay. I want to have a colorful tapestry of memories with him, so we can fill in our decrepit swiss cheese memories when we are gray.
Time moves so quickly. I do not want to lose any more time than I already have. I want to be able to enjoy you, Mr. Mystery Meat, sooner rather than later. There are so many wonderful shared memories for us to create.
14 November 2007
One Word Wednesday
Snaked from Colleen... because I am uninspired today...
The Day: quick
Your Last Meal: fattening
What You Just Heard: barking
You Can’t Live Without: pups
What You Wish You Could Be: calmer
Your Bed: heaven
Currently Feeling: drained
Word You Hate: indifference
Afraid Of: snakes
Subject You Loved In High School: science
Your Toothpaste: Crest
Unfinished Project: bathroom
Your Hands: Bony
Your Co-Workers: relics
What You Like For Breakfast: mimosas
Who Annoys You: Boobie II
Most Recent Purchase: contacts
Wishing For: love
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: pistachio
Unsure Of: timing
Last Person You Talked To On the Phone: Mums
How You Relax: bath
Your Shirt: brownish-beige
Where You Were Last Night: home
Where You Will Be Tomorrow: tea
The Day: quick
Your Last Meal: fattening
What You Just Heard: barking
You Can’t Live Without: pups
What You Wish You Could Be: calmer
Your Bed: heaven
Currently Feeling: drained
Word You Hate: indifference
Afraid Of: snakes
Subject You Loved In High School: science
Your Toothpaste: Crest
Unfinished Project: bathroom
Your Hands: Bony
Your Co-Workers: relics
What You Like For Breakfast: mimosas
Who Annoys You: Boobie II
Most Recent Purchase: contacts
Wishing For: love
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: pistachio
Unsure Of: timing
Last Person You Talked To On the Phone: Mums
How You Relax: bath
Your Shirt: brownish-beige
Where You Were Last Night: home
Where You Will Be Tomorrow: tea
13 November 2007
New Moon
Last night, I went to exercise class. Apologized to Red as soon as I saw her. I think she saw that I was still not feeling 100% and eventually warmed up.
Dinner with MJN. The food was delicious. He would not leave. Things got a little dicey when I rubbed my shoulder (totally unintentionally) because it was a little sore due to class and he jumped on that. He just happened to be a professionally trained masseuse. A married with kids masseuse. I did get a much needed deep tissue massage and I can totally feel my left side is stress free; however, he was a little too eager and did get a smidge too touchy... not a lot... but had I been receptive and encouraging of his little advances, the whole thing could have went very, very differently.
As it stood, the evening ended with my falling asleep on the couch. Nothing occurred as he is a married man and I would never go down that path because I would not want some woman to do that to me if it were my husband. Karma is a bitch, so I play nicely with her.
All I can figure is it must be the new moon that is causing random men to want to have a roll in the hay with me at any given moment ~ this is so not my normal life! It is bizarre. Thursday with Ol' Scuba boy, Friday the blind man, last night MJN... what is my world coming to?!?!
Returning from exercise class tonight, I stopped at the mailbox. Yippee! The heavens are smiling down upon me! The Southern Gentleman's card arrived ~ finally! But what the card contained ... well... that's for tomorrow....
Dinner with MJN. The food was delicious. He would not leave. Things got a little dicey when I rubbed my shoulder (totally unintentionally) because it was a little sore due to class and he jumped on that. He just happened to be a professionally trained masseuse. A married with kids masseuse. I did get a much needed deep tissue massage and I can totally feel my left side is stress free; however, he was a little too eager and did get a smidge too touchy... not a lot... but had I been receptive and encouraging of his little advances, the whole thing could have went very, very differently.
As it stood, the evening ended with my falling asleep on the couch. Nothing occurred as he is a married man and I would never go down that path because I would not want some woman to do that to me if it were my husband. Karma is a bitch, so I play nicely with her.
All I can figure is it must be the new moon that is causing random men to want to have a roll in the hay with me at any given moment ~ this is so not my normal life! It is bizarre. Thursday with Ol' Scuba boy, Friday the blind man, last night MJN... what is my world coming to?!?!
Returning from exercise class tonight, I stopped at the mailbox. Yippee! The heavens are smiling down upon me! The Southern Gentleman's card arrived ~ finally! But what the card contained ... well... that's for tomorrow....
12 November 2007
Dragging Monday
Today is dragging as I am tired. It is Monday. We have officially entered the firey gates of status report hell. My eyes are itchy. There is pressure building in my sinuses.
I am debating whether or not I feel up to going to exercise class tonight as the urge to scratch my eyes out increases exponentially. Also having to face Red at class, seeing as I slept through her birthday party. Entirely by accident, but still most people are not as understanding or forgiving as I tend to be.
Also MJN (Mary Jane Nerd) is coming over to make dinner post-exercise class. I have misgivings about it, but it is better to get it over with early in the week as opposed to prolonging it.
Here's hoping tonight is decent - overall.
I am debating whether or not I feel up to going to exercise class tonight as the urge to scratch my eyes out increases exponentially. Also having to face Red at class, seeing as I slept through her birthday party. Entirely by accident, but still most people are not as understanding or forgiving as I tend to be.
Also MJN (Mary Jane Nerd) is coming over to make dinner post-exercise class. I have misgivings about it, but it is better to get it over with early in the week as opposed to prolonging it.
Here's hoping tonight is decent - overall.
11 November 2007
Sunday ~ thinking and resting
Sunday already. This weekend has flown by. I am officially ready for my break next weekend.
The mail man was a huge disappointment for me yesterday. The Southern Gentleman's card was not in my mailbox. And tomorrow ~ Monday ~ oh yeah, a fucking holiday! Yet another day I must wait before I find his card in my box.
Lately though, I have found myself wondering about whether or not I should move. Do I give The Southern Gentleman a little more time or do I go on ahead with my plans to head southeast to SxSWland? Do I seriously alter the landscape of the universe, my universe if I jump in, with both feet, by moving to SxSW? Do I change the future or am I merely (and unknowingly) following my destiny?
The Super Fly Palm woman has made me really think about this move. You see, she was pretty convinced the Mystery Meat dwells just north of my Mile High home, in The Republic. But yet The Republic and SxSWland are always compared to being very similar to each other. I was shocked by some of the things Super Fly was telling me. I point blank asked her if I was moving to SxSWland and she told me "No, why would you move there when he is in The Republic."
However, several of the things she described about the Republic Mystery Meat, occurred when The Southern Gentleman came to see me. Welcome to quandary time!
I will keep going as I see fit. I cannot dictate my life by the words Super Fly shared with me. But y'all, this is so much more complicated than I feel like getting into right now. The Southern Gentleman's visit ~ from six weeks ago ~ still has me in somewhat of a tailspin. I.... I... I think, I feel, within the depths of my soul, that The Southern Gentleman is the man that Super Fly described (even though the geography got her confused), also that my first palmist described.
I don't know. Life is never easy, at least not mine. I am sure I will delve into The Southern Gentleman some more as the month progresses. Because he has been on my brain. Off to see a movie and enjoy the devil popcorn! ta ta
The mail man was a huge disappointment for me yesterday. The Southern Gentleman's card was not in my mailbox. And tomorrow ~ Monday ~ oh yeah, a fucking holiday! Yet another day I must wait before I find his card in my box.
Lately though, I have found myself wondering about whether or not I should move. Do I give The Southern Gentleman a little more time or do I go on ahead with my plans to head southeast to SxSWland? Do I seriously alter the landscape of the universe, my universe if I jump in, with both feet, by moving to SxSW? Do I change the future or am I merely (and unknowingly) following my destiny?
The Super Fly Palm woman has made me really think about this move. You see, she was pretty convinced the Mystery Meat dwells just north of my Mile High home, in The Republic. But yet The Republic and SxSWland are always compared to being very similar to each other. I was shocked by some of the things Super Fly was telling me. I point blank asked her if I was moving to SxSWland and she told me "No, why would you move there when he is in The Republic."
However, several of the things she described about the Republic Mystery Meat, occurred when The Southern Gentleman came to see me. Welcome to quandary time!
I will keep going as I see fit. I cannot dictate my life by the words Super Fly shared with me. But y'all, this is so much more complicated than I feel like getting into right now. The Southern Gentleman's visit ~ from six weeks ago ~ still has me in somewhat of a tailspin. I.... I... I think, I feel, within the depths of my soul, that The Southern Gentleman is the man that Super Fly described (even though the geography got her confused), also that my first palmist described.
I don't know. Life is never easy, at least not mine. I am sure I will delve into The Southern Gentleman some more as the month progresses. Because he has been on my brain. Off to see a movie and enjoy the devil popcorn! ta ta
10 November 2007
About Last Night...
Last night....
was lots of fun
almost too much fun, if such a thing is possible
yet another late night
fair amounts of alcohol consumed
dancing at the gay bar which is always exciting
a blind man bought me a drink
still cannot text message with any level of efficiency
made new friends
enjoyed late night whataburger onion rings
had a smile plastered on my drunken face all night
life is simply better here for me
reason #333 why I *love* it here
was lots of fun
almost too much fun, if such a thing is possible
yet another late night
fair amounts of alcohol consumed
dancing at the gay bar which is always exciting
a blind man bought me a drink
still cannot text message with any level of efficiency
made new friends
enjoyed late night whataburger onion rings
had a smile plastered on my drunken face all night
life is simply better here for me
reason #333 why I *love* it here
09 November 2007
Post-Birthday Evening Stories
First of all, at the Mile High mailbox, there was a mailed birthday card waiting for me from none other than The Southern Gentleman. No phone call but I will take snail any day from that sexy hunk o' burnin' love man. Needless to say, that card has been mailed on to me here because I have no patience.
On to last night. Wow!
This turning 33 ~ in SxSWland ~ certainly something else. something. else. indeed.
Parking was horrendous last night. Nightmare to the Nth degree. Martinis and manicures was fun. Not much of a manicure but for five bucks my nails will look pretty for a bit. Afterwards we went out for one last cocktail. Some dude, hence forth known as Ol' Scuba Boy, came up to us, and asked us to join him and his friends. There was nothing scrumptious in the vicinity, so we joined them.
We went to this club... err... lounge as they called it with a fucking aquarium in the floor. The floor aquarium contained various sharks and stingrays. A pretty cool concept. We had some yummy cocktails. The boys we'd joined were fairly useless. Oh well. We were getting ready to leave and Ol' Scuba Boy was back on us because his chatting up of bedazzler blond girl was done.
This is where things got interesting, if you could call it interesting. Ol' Scuba Boy was very drunk and very horney. Since it was my birthday, I was his chosen target because after all according to Ol' Scuba Boy's logic the birthday girl needed him to go down on her. Yeah. Right.
Ol' Scuba Boy was quite persistent. Very persistent in fact. The birthday girl did not oblige him though. I wasn't up for that. However, the entire situation was quite entertaining and made for a memorable evening.
What a way to kick off birthday weekend!!
On to last night. Wow!
This turning 33 ~ in SxSWland ~ certainly something else. something. else. indeed.
Parking was horrendous last night. Nightmare to the Nth degree. Martinis and manicures was fun. Not much of a manicure but for five bucks my nails will look pretty for a bit. Afterwards we went out for one last cocktail. Some dude, hence forth known as Ol' Scuba Boy, came up to us, and asked us to join him and his friends. There was nothing scrumptious in the vicinity, so we joined them.
We went to this club... err... lounge as they called it with a fucking aquarium in the floor. The floor aquarium contained various sharks and stingrays. A pretty cool concept. We had some yummy cocktails. The boys we'd joined were fairly useless. Oh well. We were getting ready to leave and Ol' Scuba Boy was back on us because his chatting up of bedazzler blond girl was done.
This is where things got interesting, if you could call it interesting. Ol' Scuba Boy was very drunk and very horney. Since it was my birthday, I was his chosen target because after all according to Ol' Scuba Boy's logic the birthday girl needed him to go down on her. Yeah. Right.
Ol' Scuba Boy was quite persistent. Very persistent in fact. The birthday girl did not oblige him though. I wasn't up for that. However, the entire situation was quite entertaining and made for a memorable evening.
What a way to kick off birthday weekend!!
08 November 2007
Happy Birthday to me!
Actually, dinner last night was not as painful as originally planned. There was wildlife entertainment ~ a raccoon stealing sugar packets off the adjoining tables. That only caused me to have flash backs to the prairie dog debacle.
Today is my birthday. The alarm did not go off, so luckily the phone rang at 7:40 AM. It was Montana Man and the gyrls singing happy birthday. I was not expecting that one.
All the old geezers in the office have been super nice wishing me happy birthday. I am wearing birthday present necklace I purchased a few months ago. It has been a good hair day. What more could a gyrl ask for!
I will tell you what more I am asking for... The Southern Gentleman. Thus far, no call or email from The Southern Gentleman. That has me disappointed. He has dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe he is busy with work and life in general. Maybe he is scared. Maybe he has changed his mind. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
Tonight is manicure and martinis downtown. I cannot wait! Birthday stories tomorrow!
xoxo
Today is my birthday. The alarm did not go off, so luckily the phone rang at 7:40 AM. It was Montana Man and the gyrls singing happy birthday. I was not expecting that one.
All the old geezers in the office have been super nice wishing me happy birthday. I am wearing birthday present necklace I purchased a few months ago. It has been a good hair day. What more could a gyrl ask for!
I will tell you what more I am asking for... The Southern Gentleman. Thus far, no call or email from The Southern Gentleman. That has me disappointed. He has dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe he is busy with work and life in general. Maybe he is scared. Maybe he has changed his mind. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
Tonight is manicure and martinis downtown. I cannot wait! Birthday stories tomorrow!
xoxo
07 November 2007
Dinner Plans
Tonight I am going to dinner with the old guys from my group. Dual birthday dinner. It should be as much fun as a root canal sans Novocaine. Thank God for vodka martinis!
Overall though, today has been some giddy fun. Birthday decorations and such. Have to do something to make the dungeon a little more lively.
I was up ~ bright eyed and bushy tailed ~ at 2:30 AM this morning.... couldn't go back to sleep... until about 5 AM. The alarm goes off at 6:30 AM, however I stayed in bed until 7:30... oh well.
Overall though, today has been some giddy fun. Birthday decorations and such. Have to do something to make the dungeon a little more lively.
I was up ~ bright eyed and bushy tailed ~ at 2:30 AM this morning.... couldn't go back to sleep... until about 5 AM. The alarm goes off at 6:30 AM, however I stayed in bed until 7:30... oh well.
06 November 2007
Eggs on My Mind
Today's random thought ~
I was in the loo. I am ovulating. And at that moment of discovery, I found myself wondering if there will ever be a day when I am exciting about ovulating? Sharing it with a man? That my ovulating will be the cue to have sex? lots of sex?
Is that day coming soon? Esp. with my birthday right around the corner.
Good God, man!?! Where the fuck are you?
I was in the loo. I am ovulating. And at that moment of discovery, I found myself wondering if there will ever be a day when I am exciting about ovulating? Sharing it with a man? That my ovulating will be the cue to have sex? lots of sex?
Is that day coming soon? Esp. with my birthday right around the corner.
Good God, man!?! Where the fuck are you?
05 November 2007
Color Me Exhausted
Internet, I am past tired, beyond exhausted, plum tuckered out.
It was quite a weekend down here in SxSW land. It started Halloween night and did not stop until about 2 PM yesterday afternoon. I was a zombie at work today. I had a fabulous time and as a result will have fabulous memories of the weekend before I turn 33.
Went to kickboxing tonight, which was good - I don't feel quite so zombie.
I am going to watch last week's episode of Pushing Daisies and call it a day.
Details of Man Magnet weekend tomorrow :-)
It was quite a weekend down here in SxSW land. It started Halloween night and did not stop until about 2 PM yesterday afternoon. I was a zombie at work today. I had a fabulous time and as a result will have fabulous memories of the weekend before I turn 33.
Went to kickboxing tonight, which was good - I don't feel quite so zombie.
I am going to watch last week's episode of Pushing Daisies and call it a day.
Details of Man Magnet weekend tomorrow :-)
04 November 2007
I walk for those...
This morning, a Sunday morning no less, when I should be sleeping in after a long weekend of partying like a rock star, I had myself up before the sun to participate in the Race for the Cure.
I have never participated in an event like this before. It wasn’t what I expected at all. With my impending birthday, I have found myself being introspective. I have a feeling this introspection will be found here throughout the month.
I signed up for the walk portion with some of my SxSW buddies. I had no idea that (a.) we had a team captain and (b.) our captain, in her early-to-mid thirties was a breast cancer survivor. I had met our captain before at a party but had no idea that she, only a few years older than me, had lived through this nightmare. This alone proves that you never know where this cancer will strike.
She is married but now she will not be able to have children. Her husband stood by her side through the entire time and he walked by her today. Makes me wonder how I could handle something so terrifying, facing life and death like that – not having a meaningful boyfriend, let alone a husband. There are too many women who go through events of this gravity alone – determination, will-to-live.
So while I sit here and whine about boys and the hiccups in my life, there is so much more out there. I am glad that today I did something that is good for the universe.
I have never participated in an event like this before. It wasn’t what I expected at all. With my impending birthday, I have found myself being introspective. I have a feeling this introspection will be found here throughout the month.
I signed up for the walk portion with some of my SxSW buddies. I had no idea that (a.) we had a team captain and (b.) our captain, in her early-to-mid thirties was a breast cancer survivor. I had met our captain before at a party but had no idea that she, only a few years older than me, had lived through this nightmare. This alone proves that you never know where this cancer will strike.
She is married but now she will not be able to have children. Her husband stood by her side through the entire time and he walked by her today. Makes me wonder how I could handle something so terrifying, facing life and death like that – not having a meaningful boyfriend, let alone a husband. There are too many women who go through events of this gravity alone – determination, will-to-live.
So while I sit here and whine about boys and the hiccups in my life, there is so much more out there. I am glad that today I did something that is good for the universe.
03 November 2007
Saturday Insanity
Yikes! I got home late last night... then up at the crack of dawn... home only for small bite sized snippets today... off again... and it will not be a late night again... i keep repeating that to myself because I have to up yet again at the ass crack of dawn,,,, too busy a weekend but then again i will sleep when i'm dead!
man magnet powers... only took me like 15 years to learn how to use them but oh so yummy!
xoxo
man magnet powers... only took me like 15 years to learn how to use them but oh so yummy!
xoxo
02 November 2007
As promised...
Halloween. My Halloween. It was so much fun. Just one more reason why I love this place so damn much.
The festivities started at 8 PM for me and did not end until 4 AM - yes, that is what I call having a damn good time! Guess I don't turn into a pumpkin after the bell tolls midnight. However, yesterday I was basically a waste of space. But it was worth it.
Had to get over my self-consciousness about having exposed midriff. The liquidy goodness of potato juice helped immensely. Even though the weight is gone, those few years that I was carting around the extra 35 pounds is still there lingering in the body consciousness I feel. I need to start focusing on the 35 pounds that are gone from my body and less on the 5 pounds that remain.
The most amazing part of the evening is the fabulous circle of friends I have here. Everyone is so friendly and it warms the depths of my soul when someone is happy to see me! I have always craved, wished, hoped, desired to have a circle of friends like this - and !poof! my wish has become my reality. I look at the photos from the other night and seeing that smile on my face speaks such volumes. Positive. Volumes.
We danced the night away. My legs were sore yesterday! But had to burn off those luscious vodka calories somehow.
Borat. Dear Abby! I think the last time I randomly made out with some guy had to be in my early 20s. I have been trying to remember the last occurrence of such activity and I seriously think it was Mardi Gras when I was 23 years old. Yeah. Somehow along the way, Borat bought me a drink. Then Borat followed me around mercilessly. The girls and I started dancing. Borat crashed the party - one thing led to another - and Borat kissed me - then a little more - yeah. So I made out with Borat ! of all people! It was Halloween! A good time had by all!
Happy hour fun on the schedule for this evening. Yippee! $3 martinis - what more could a gyrl ask for!
The festivities started at 8 PM for me and did not end until 4 AM - yes, that is what I call having a damn good time! Guess I don't turn into a pumpkin after the bell tolls midnight. However, yesterday I was basically a waste of space. But it was worth it.
Had to get over my self-consciousness about having exposed midriff. The liquidy goodness of potato juice helped immensely. Even though the weight is gone, those few years that I was carting around the extra 35 pounds is still there lingering in the body consciousness I feel. I need to start focusing on the 35 pounds that are gone from my body and less on the 5 pounds that remain.
The most amazing part of the evening is the fabulous circle of friends I have here. Everyone is so friendly and it warms the depths of my soul when someone is happy to see me! I have always craved, wished, hoped, desired to have a circle of friends like this - and !poof! my wish has become my reality. I look at the photos from the other night and seeing that smile on my face speaks such volumes. Positive. Volumes.
We danced the night away. My legs were sore yesterday! But had to burn off those luscious vodka calories somehow.
Borat. Dear Abby! I think the last time I randomly made out with some guy had to be in my early 20s. I have been trying to remember the last occurrence of such activity and I seriously think it was Mardi Gras when I was 23 years old. Yeah. Somehow along the way, Borat bought me a drink. Then Borat followed me around mercilessly. The girls and I started dancing. Borat crashed the party - one thing led to another - and Borat kissed me - then a little more - yeah. So I made out with Borat ! of all people! It was Halloween! A good time had by all!
Happy hour fun on the schedule for this evening. Yippee! $3 martinis - what more could a gyrl ask for!
01 November 2007
NaBloPoMo Day One
Holy hail storm, batman!
I was reading C's blog and !poof! I had completely forgotten the implications of today - November 1st! Day One of NaBloPoMo!
Off to a rocky start but I will remember from here on out... hopefully. But life is moving pretty fast here. Had the bestest time last night celebrating Halloween... did not get home until a time where a lot of people are getting up and ready to start their day! yea...
More on Halloween for tomorrow! Birthday introspection! Yummy! Boy Updates! And more!
I was reading C's blog and !poof! I had completely forgotten the implications of today - November 1st! Day One of NaBloPoMo!
Off to a rocky start but I will remember from here on out... hopefully. But life is moving pretty fast here. Had the bestest time last night celebrating Halloween... did not get home until a time where a lot of people are getting up and ready to start their day! yea...
More on Halloween for tomorrow! Birthday introspection! Yummy! Boy Updates! And more!
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